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Meditation # John 14:21 The one who has my commandments and keeps them—that one is the one who loves me. And the one who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I will love him and will reveal myself to him.” The Lord reveals himself… it’s not more complicated than that. I’ve spent years in apologetics (defending the faith), learning and regurgitating argument after logical argument for God’s existence, historical defense for the resurrection of Jesus, etc. I think Christianity is objectively difficult to reject with all the data in front of you. At the same time, Jesus and the Bible are clear that God’s wisdom is folly to man, and no man can understand without being born again (John 10:6). So, I think there’s real biblical wisdom and truth that says the opposite of what I think about the evidence for Jesus as Lord. That’s OK, because I my thoughts are for and about myself, I am born again and the story, at least the story of my salvation, is clear to me, by God’s grace. It’s through…

The Setup # Work has been crazy for months, and I haven’t written too much about it, a few notes here and there but nothing substantial. The craziness is sourced in a pretty cliched-scenario where we have lofty goals and important things to build but the foundation on which we are building, like architectural decisions, is basically wet sand. So as I’ve been trying to find my footing in the mud I feel like I end up spinning my wheels moreso than making any progress. The chaos led me eventually to approach my manager about my compensation - I make a nice living but for the stress I’d been feeling I could certainly go make more. My manager successfully fought for me up the chain and I was given a slightly bigger carrot, but that’s not the point of this post. I started to feel even more anxiety after I was told about the raise because, just like with AI and agentic coding, now I was sure the expectations would be even higher. I didn’t think anything would actually come from me asking my b…

related: advent-john-16-33

Jeremiah 17:17 You must not become to me a terror, you are my refuge in the day of disaster. Spurgeon’s reflection on this verse this morning hits hard… The path of the Christian is not always bright with sunshine; he has his seasons of darkness and of storm. My whole life has not been easy, my story has ups and downs like anyone’s. God has been faithful to me, to bring me through trial - both when I feel and believe I am undergoing it, and before I knew what trial was but nonetheless was in an imperfect situation. For several years it was too easy for me say “blessed be the name of the Lord”. Even today, it should be too easy, but I feel the sunshine has been missing for some time, weeks or months. In this season I’ve been bogged down, mostly with work. That bleeds into family stuff, the stress and chaos of my job makes it easy to be impatient with my kids. In that moment of impatience, God is good to remind me of how patient he is with me, but that doesn’t fix my parenting… It opens…