Covenant, Calling, and Friendship
Purpose #
To establish a biblical vision of marriage that shapes expectations, priorities, and endurance.
Key Scriptures #
Genesis 2:18–25; Malachi 2:14; Ephesians 5:31–32; Proverbs 18:22
Genesis 2:18-25
18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper (עֵ֫זֶר |e-zer ) corresponding (נֶ֫גֶד | ne-ged) to him.” 19 The Lord God formed out of the ground every wild animal and every bird of the sky, and brought each to the man to see what he would call it. And whatever the man called a living creature, that was its name. 20 The man gave names to all the livestock, to the birds of the sky, and to every wild animal; but for the man no helper was found corresponding to him. 21 So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to come over the man, and he slept. God took one of his ribs and closed the flesh at that place. 22 Then the Lord God made the rib he had taken from the man into a woman and brought her to the man. 23 And the man said: This one, at last, is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh; this one will be called “woman,” for she was taken from man. 24 This is why a man leaves his father and mother and bonds with his wife, and they become one flesh. 25 Both the man and his wife were naked, yet felt no shame.
helper corresponding
This is the helper opposite him - balance
Malachi 2:14
And you ask, “Why?” Because even though the Lord has been a witness between you and the wife of your youth, you have acted treacherously against her. She was your marriage partner and your wife by covenant.
God as the witness
“the wife of your youth” Since a Jewish marriage was religious and involved a covenant, God served as the witness (Mal 2:10). Thus, a Jewish man abandoning his Jewish wife was tantamount to abandoning a vow to God Himself.
Ephesians 5:31-32
31 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. 32 This mystery is profound, but I am talking about Christ and the church.
Proverbs 18:22
A man who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.
Themes #
Marriage is covenantal, not consumerism sustained by feelings.
- Serving your spouse is serving the Lord, as long as you both seek to serve Jesus then you will naturally (since it’s a natural consequence of serving the Lord) serve one another with the right heart. Your service is not to each other directly, it is to the Lord
God uses marriage as a primary means of sanctification.
- Parenting is hard because you are forced to put your needs on hold for the sake of your kids sometimes, but love makes it easier and kids are level 2. Level 1 is your spouse - as you put your needs on hold for your spouse Jesus changes your heart to help you really see that other person as equally as valuable as yourself. Not necessarily more valuable, that isn’t the point, the point is that the ground is level at the foot of the cross, and daily consistent rendering of service to your spouse as to the Lord is a transformative experience in the direction of seeing others how Jesus does.
Friendship and unity go right along with roles, logistics, and preferences.
- Dedicate yourselves to the Lord and friendship will follow.
Discussion Prompts #
What do you believe makes a marriage “successful”?
- calm and charitable disagreement
- established and respected order
- Devin will be the head
- the head of the body should probably listen to the body quite intensely before making decisions…
- do people outside your marriage see Jesus as a crucial player in your relationship or is all about the 2 of you? Culture would have it look like 2 puzzle pieces that fit together perfectly, but the reality is that a godly marriage should frame the gospel. When people look at your relationship, they shouldn’t just see 2 best friends in love, they should somewhat immediately see and know about Jesus’ role in your relationship
Where do you think cultural ideas about marriage fall short?
- literally everywhere
What promises feel most weighty to you as you think about your vows?
How do you currently cultivate friendship and closeness?
Mentor Contribution #
Share briefly how covenant faithfulness has shaped your own marriage.
Share how unity is built intentionally over time, not assumed.
Reflection #
What do you hope God will form in you through marriage?
Premarital Session 2 - March 2026 Premarital Session 3 April 2026