{ "version": "https://jsonfeed.org/version/1.1", "title": "My reflections Archive", "home_page_url": "https://pype.dev/reflections/", "feed_url": "https://pype.dev/reflections/archive/feed.json", "description": "My thoughts and streams of consciousness organized into barely coherent posts about things", "authors": [ { "name": "Nic Payne" } ], "items": [ { "id": "https://pype.dev/reflection-arise-and-depart/", "url": "https://pype.dev/reflection-arise-and-depart/", "title": "Reflection - Arise and Depart", "content_html": "\u003cp\u003eSpurgeon\u0026rsquo;s \u003cstrong\u003eMorning and Evening\u003c/strong\u003e reflection for this morning is Micah 2:10 \u0026ldquo;Arise, and depart\u0026rdquo;.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"admonition note\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"admonition-title\"\u003econtext\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eTypical note about reflections not being deep study. Also noting that Spurgeon\u0026rsquo;s meditations are often about what comes to mind from the words of a verse (or part of it) as opposed to the context of the verse.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"admonition note\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"admonition-title\"\u003eMicah 2:10\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eArise and go, for this is no resting place, on account of uncleanness that destroys with painful destruction.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSo the context of the rest of the verse isn\u0026rsquo;t that consistent with the\ndirection of Spurgon\u0026rsquo;s meditation but nonetheless his springboard is good to\nthink about\u0026hellip;\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSomeday everyone of us will answer the call to \u0026ldquo;arise and go\u0026rdquo; - death comes for\nus all but death isn\u0026rsquo;t itself an existential end, it is the time to obey the\nLord. At his word, I will leave the world and go to where he calls me. This is\ntrue for everyone, it\u0026rsquo;s an inescapable part of the reality that Yahweh has\ncreated for all Creation.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDeath fills some with dread, but for the Christian it\u0026rsquo;s the passage to\neternity. We live (or \u0026ldquo;are to live\u0026rdquo;) in Heaven today - Jesus brought Heaven to\nearth. But his life, death, and resurrection did not \u003cstrong\u003efully\u003c/strong\u003e bring Heaven to\nearth - the melding is happening, the reunification of Heaven and earth as it\nwas in Eden is taking place, and when he comes again the kingdom will be\nconsummated.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSo we live unto his Name and glory, because it\u0026rsquo;s the best thing\nfor humanity. And at the end of our living on this present earth, God calls\neveryone to the next phase of reality. What awaits those who do not believe?\nand who haven\u0026rsquo;t been chosen? I really wouldn\u0026rsquo;t claim to know concrete facts\nbeyond the truth that \u0026ldquo;they are not citizens of heaven, and so they do not live with\nthe Lord\u0026rdquo;. But what awaits the Christian? That\u0026rsquo;s a much easier answer to take a\nstand on - those loved by Jesus are not left dead in the cold dark underground,\nwe are called to the skies - to glory and to the kingdom.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI think this thought of future unification with the Lord, in a newly\nconsummated kingdom, when Death is dead and there is no more competition\namongst the gods, when all Creation is in right relationship with the King -\nthis thought should bring joy and anticipation to the Christian, to me.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eLet me work for the glory of God today, with the right perspective that at any\nmoment I could be called away from this work (my family, my home, my job, etc.)\nand to the next thing Jesus would have me do. I look forward to the call to\n\u0026ldquo;Arise and go\u0026rdquo; and I pray that the future hope of the Kingdom fills me today\nwith joy and motivation to live a godly life and that death never looks like\nanything other than a river to cross with new life on the other side.\u003c/p\u003e\n", "content_text": "\nSpurgeon's **Morning and Evening** reflection for this morning is Micah 2:10 \"Arise, and depart\".\n\n!!! note \"context\"\n\n Typical note about reflections not being deep study. Also noting that Spurgeon's meditations are often about what comes to mind from the words of a verse (or part of it) as opposed to the context of the verse.\n\n!!! note \"Micah 2:10\"\n\n Arise and go, for this is no resting place, on account of uncleanness that destroys with painful destruction.\n\nSo the context of the rest of the verse isn't that consistent with the\ndirection of Spurgon's meditation but nonetheless his springboard is good to\nthink about...\n\nSomeday everyone of us will answer the call to \"arise and go\" - death comes for\nus all but death isn't itself an existential end, it is the time to obey the\nLord. At his word, I will leave the world and go to where he calls me. This is\ntrue for everyone, it's an inescapable part of the reality that Yahweh has\ncreated for all Creation.\n\nDeath fills some with dread, but for the Christian it's the passage to\neternity. We live (or \"are to live\") in Heaven today - Jesus brought Heaven to\nearth. But his life, death, and resurrection did not **fully** bring Heaven to\nearth - the melding is happening, the reunification of Heaven and earth as it\nwas in Eden is taking place, and when he comes again the kingdom will be\nconsummated.\n\nSo we live unto his Name and glory, because it's the best thing\nfor humanity. And at the end of our living on this present earth, God calls\neveryone to the next phase of reality. What awaits those who do not believe?\nand who haven't been chosen? I really wouldn't claim to know concrete facts\nbeyond the truth that \"they are not citizens of heaven, and so they do not live with\nthe Lord\". But what awaits the Christian? That's a much easier answer to take a\nstand on - those loved by Jesus are not left dead in the cold dark underground,\nwe are called to the skies - to glory and to the kingdom.\n\nI think this thought of future unification with the Lord, in a newly\nconsummated kingdom, when Death is dead and there is no more competition\namongst the gods, when all Creation is in right relationship with the King -\nthis thought should bring joy and anticipation to the Christian, to me.\n\nLet me work for the glory of God today, with the right perspective that at any\nmoment I could be called away from this work (my family, my home, my job, etc.)\nand to the next thing Jesus would have me do. I look forward to the call to\n\"Arise and go\" and I pray that the future hope of the Kingdom fills me today\nwith joy and motivation to live a godly life and that death never looks like\nanything other than a river to cross with new life on the other side.\n", "summary": "Spurgeon's ** reflection for this morning is Micah 2:10 \"Arise, and depart\".", "date_published": "2026-02-07T04:37:12Z", "date_modified": "2026-02-07T04:37:12Z", "authors": [ { "name": "Nic Payne", "url": "https://pype.dev" } ], "tags": [ "reflection", "faith" ] }, { "id": "https://pype.dev/revel-in-imparted-righteousness/", "url": "https://pype.dev/revel-in-imparted-righteousness/", "title": "Revel in imparted righteousness", "content_html": "\u003cp\u003eSpurgeon\u0026rsquo;s Morning and Evening today is from Jeremiah 23:6.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"admonition warning\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"admonition-title\"\u003eWarning\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAgain with these reflections, I\u0026quot;m not an OT scholar and I don\u0026rsquo;t know, or\ndidn\u0026rsquo;t do a lot of search on, the context of the passage. This isn\u0026rsquo;t\neducational, this if a reflection on what God brings to mind through his Word\nand my time with him, not teaching about the historical context of where the\nwords in Jeremiah 23 actually affect the story\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"admonition note\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"admonition-title\"\u003eJeremiah 23:6\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIn his days Judah will be saved, and Israel will dwell securely. And this\nis the name by which he will be called: ‘The Lord is our righteousness.’\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003ch2 id=\"the-lord-is-our-righteousness\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"heading-wear-glyph\"\u003eThe Lord is our righteousness\u003c/span\u003e \u003ca href=\"#the-lord-is-our-righteousness\" class=\"heading-anchor\"\u003e#\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThere\u0026rsquo;s a lot of tension in the details of the story of the world in how humans\nand God relate to each other. On one hand, God created everything, and he\ncreated humans with a unique purpose to be his seen-imagers in the physical\nworld who carry out his will. On the other hand, humans take that position of\nprivilege and often destroy the world in our sin and dismay. The theology\nsurrounding this tension is the thing that can affect the Christian\u0026rsquo;s daily\nlife\u0026hellip; As I walk through the world, am I more aware of my position as God\u0026rsquo;s\nchild, with responsibility to bear his Name and steward the earth, or am I more\naware of my sin and the fact that I often make choices Jesus wouldn\u0026rsquo;t be proud\nof? Both things are true, but where I put my mind and heart drives if I have a\ncontented smile on my face or if my brow is sweaty and scunched up in\nfrustration.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI think that if we somehow filtered our view to all \u0026ldquo;true Christians\u0026rdquo; we\u0026rsquo;d see\nthat a majority of them lean in on emphasizing their sin because it is the\nthing that makes Jesus\u0026rsquo; work necessary - it is the un-overcomable thing that we\nhave to be saved from and Glory to God! for saving us. But on the daily, not\nputting equal emphasis on the next step of the story, which is that in God\u0026rsquo;s\nsaving he imparts the righteousness of Jesus right onto us, is a disservice to\nus as God\u0026rsquo;s children.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI want my kids to be proud and secure in their name and place as my kids. I\ndon\u0026rsquo;t want them to spend their energy focusing on where they have contributed\nchaos and disorder to my life, I want them to focus on the things they do worth\nbeing proud of, and there\u0026rsquo;s grace for the rest. I think this must be true of\nthe Lord as well - without a doubt I am a sinner and a wretch who, left to my\nown devices, would end up a drunken addict lying in the street somewhere\u0026hellip; but\nwhy would I \u003cstrong\u003efocus\u003c/strong\u003e on that when Yahweh chooses me, imparts Jesus'\nrighteousness to me, adopts me as his own! The reality of my sin is reality,\nbut the reality of Jesus\u0026rsquo; grace on my life is no less true. Christians\nshouldn\u0026rsquo;t be ignorant of the sin they carry and the choices they make which\ndishonor God, but we also shouldn\u0026rsquo;t be ignorant of the grace God shows to us!\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI have noticed in my life, as the scales have tipped somewhat in favor of\nfocusing \u003cstrong\u003emore\u003c/strong\u003e on Yahweh adopting me as opposed to focusing on where I fall\nshort of the glory of God, that\u0026rsquo;s it\u0026rsquo;s more natural for me to be joyful about\nalmost anything in the world (worth experiencing joy over)\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMay Jesus call you today if you\u0026rsquo;re reading this and he hasnt\u0026rsquo; yet, and if he\nhas may joy follow your acknowledgement of your adoption rather than sorrow\nover your previous state. Glory to God in the highest!\u003c/p\u003e\n", "content_text": "\nSpurgeon's Morning and Evening today is from Jeremiah 23:6.\n\n!!! warning \"\"\n\n Again with these reflections, I\"m not an OT scholar and I don't know, or\n didn't do a lot of search on, the context of the passage. This isn't\n educational, this if a reflection on what God brings to mind through his Word\n and my time with him, not teaching about the historical context of where the\n words in Jeremiah 23 actually affect the story\n\n!!! note \"Jeremiah 23:6\"\n\n In his days Judah will be saved, and Israel will dwell securely. And this\n is the name by which he will be called: ‘The Lord is our righteousness.’\n\n## The Lord is our righteousness\n\nThere's a lot of tension in the details of the story of the world in how humans\nand God relate to each other. On one hand, God created everything, and he\ncreated humans with a unique purpose to be his seen-imagers in the physical\nworld who carry out his will. On the other hand, humans take that position of\nprivilege and often destroy the world in our sin and dismay. The theology\nsurrounding this tension is the thing that can affect the Christian's daily\nlife... As I walk through the world, am I more aware of my position as God's\nchild, with responsibility to bear his Name and steward the earth, or am I more\naware of my sin and the fact that I often make choices Jesus wouldn't be proud\nof? Both things are true, but where I put my mind and heart drives if I have a\ncontented smile on my face or if my brow is sweaty and scunched up in\nfrustration.\n\nI think that if we somehow filtered our view to all \"true Christians\" we'd see\nthat a majority of them lean in on emphasizing their sin because it is the\nthing that makes Jesus' work necessary - it is the un-overcomable thing that we\nhave to be saved from and Glory to God! for saving us. But on the daily, not\nputting equal emphasis on the next step of the story, which is that in God's\nsaving he imparts the righteousness of Jesus right onto us, is a disservice to\nus as God's children.\n\nI want my kids to be proud and secure in their name and place as my kids. I\ndon't want them to spend their energy focusing on where they have contributed\nchaos and disorder to my life, I want them to focus on the things they do worth\nbeing proud of, and there's grace for the rest. I think this must be true of\nthe Lord as well - without a doubt I am a sinner and a wretch who, left to my\nown devices, would end up a drunken addict lying in the street somewhere... but\nwhy would I **focus** on that when Yahweh chooses me, imparts Jesus'\nrighteousness to me, adopts me as his own! The reality of my sin is reality,\nbut the reality of Jesus' grace on my life is no less true. Christians\nshouldn't be ignorant of the sin they carry and the choices they make which\ndishonor God, but we also shouldn't be ignorant of the grace God shows to us!\n\nI have noticed in my life, as the scales have tipped somewhat in favor of\nfocusing **more** on Yahweh adopting me as opposed to focusing on where I fall\nshort of the glory of God, that's it's more natural for me to be joyful about\nalmost anything in the world (worth experiencing joy over)\n\nMay Jesus call you today if you're reading this and he hasnt' yet, and if he\nhas may joy follow your acknowledgement of your adoption rather than sorrow\nover your previous state. Glory to God in the highest!\n", "summary": "Spurgeon's Morning and Evening today is from Jeremiah 23:6.", "date_published": "2026-01-31T05:45:42Z", "date_modified": "2026-01-31T05:45:42Z", "authors": [ { "name": "Nic Payne", "url": "https://pype.dev" } ], "tags": [ "reflection", "faith" ] }, { "id": "https://pype.dev/reflection-galatians-2-19-20/", "url": "https://pype.dev/reflection-galatians-2-19-20/", "title": "Reflection - Galatians 2:19-20", "content_html": "\u003cdiv class=\"admonition note\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"admonition-title\"\u003eGalatians 2:19-20\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e19 For through the law I died to the law, in order that I might live to\nGod. I have been crucified with Christ, 20 and I no longer live, but Christ\nlives in me, and that life I now live in the flesh, I live by faith in the Son\nof God, who loved me and gave himself for me.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is one of the most common verse-memory verses I think. Probably there\u0026rsquo;s\ngood reason for that - Paul has a lot to say to the Galatians, and these 2\nverses summarize one of the simple truths of the Gospel - the life a Christian\nis given is \u003cstrong\u003efreed from\u003c/strong\u003e the law of death and make alive to Jesus. The gospel\ntruth is that the law is no longer the thing we answer to - everyone will,\ncertainly. There\u0026rsquo;s no mistake to be made that every human has accountability\nfor their own agency. In our \u0026ldquo;free\u0026rdquo; will, bound to sin and death and to the law\nfor approval, we aren\u0026rsquo;t free at all but slaves to an oppressive overlord. Jesus\nfrees the Christian to live a life free from that oppression, in the\nlife-giving security of God\u0026rsquo;s adoption.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003ch2 id=\"who-love-me-and-gave-himself-for-me\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"heading-wear-glyph\"\u003eWho love me and gave himself for me\u003c/span\u003e \u003ca href=\"#who-love-me-and-gave-himself-for-me\" class=\"heading-anchor\"\u003e#\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eGod adopts whoever he chooses. And the ones he chooses are then freely able to\nchoose him in return. Through the life-giving power of God\u0026rsquo;s sovereignty my\nlife can be fundamentally altered, my make-up changed, my family line updated.\nI am free to live my life by faith in Jesus, because he loved me and gave\nhimself for me.\u003c/p\u003e\n", "content_text": "\n!!! note \"Galatians 2:19-20\"\n\n 19 For through the law I died to the law, in order that I might live to\n God. I have been crucified with Christ, 20 and I no longer live, but Christ\n lives in me, and that life I now live in the flesh, I live by faith in the Son\n of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.\n\nThis is one of the most common verse-memory verses I think. Probably there's\ngood reason for that - Paul has a lot to say to the Galatians, and these 2\nverses summarize one of the simple truths of the Gospel - the life a Christian\nis given is **freed from** the law of death and make alive to Jesus. The gospel\ntruth is that the law is no longer the thing we answer to - everyone will,\ncertainly. There's no mistake to be made that every human has accountability\nfor their own agency. In our \"free\" will, bound to sin and death and to the law\nfor approval, we aren't free at all but slaves to an oppressive overlord. Jesus\nfrees the Christian to live a life free from that oppression, in the\nlife-giving security of God's adoption.\n\n## Who love me and gave himself for me\n\nGod adopts whoever he chooses. And the ones he chooses are then freely able to\nchoose him in return. Through the life-giving power of God's sovereignty my\nlife can be fundamentally altered, my make-up changed, my family line updated.\nI am free to live my life by faith in Jesus, because he loved me and gave\nhimself for me.\n", "summary": "!!! note \"Galatians 2:19-20\"", "date_published": "2025-12-28T06:18:57Z", "date_modified": "2025-12-28T06:18:57Z", "authors": [ { "name": "Nic Payne", "url": "https://pype.dev" } ], "tags": [ "reflection", "faith" ] }, { "id": "https://pype.dev/reflection-ecclesiastes-9-10/", "url": "https://pype.dev/reflection-ecclesiastes-9-10/", "title": "Reflection - Ecclesiastes 9:10", "content_html": "\u003cdiv class=\"admonition note\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"admonition-title\"\u003eEcclesiastes 9:10\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhatever your hand finds to do—do it with all your might; for in Sheol—where you are going—no one works, plans, knows, or thinks about anything.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"admonition warning\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"admonition-title\"\u003eReflection vs Hermeneutics\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI put this little disclaimer on posts where I\u0026rsquo;m sure the direction of my\nreflection isn\u0026rsquo;t necessarily consistent with a exegetical teachin gon the\npassage I\u0026rsquo;m reflecting on. I do not know the intimate context of Ecclesiastes 9\nand so this reflection in very inra-personal and is not meant to be a point in\nteaching in any capacity\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003ch2 id=\"finding\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"heading-wear-glyph\"\u003eFinding\u003c/span\u003e \u003ca href=\"#finding\" class=\"heading-anchor\"\u003e#\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhatever your hand finds to do\u003c/strong\u003e\u0026hellip; The beginning assumes a search. The faithful\nChristian is not idle\u0026hellip; he seeks to do good because it\u0026rsquo;s God\u0026rsquo;s calling on the\nhuman life to steward creation well which requires \u003cem\u003ework\u003c/em\u003e.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFinding\u003c/strong\u003e doesn\u0026rsquo;t only presume a search, it indicates finding things on the\nsearch\u0026hellip; There is no shortage of godly things to do because every single day\nwe\u0026rsquo;re faced with choices that either align or don\u0026rsquo;t with the will Yahweh.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSo whatever my hand does in fact \u003cem\u003efind to do\u003c/em\u003e I am \u003cem\u003eto do\u003c/em\u003e with \u003cem\u003emight\u003c/em\u003e\u0026hellip;\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eLately I have not done what I find to do with all my might. I think God is so\ngood to me, and has blessed me through years of transformation to align more\nand more of my will with his\u0026hellip; but I\u0026rsquo;ve been meaning to refactor something at\nwork for 7 months that\u0026rsquo;s actually keeping me up at night, I pick up my phone to\nscroll when I have a ticket to work on or worse - when I could be watching my\nkids play. I very clearly \u003cstrong\u003edo not do with all my might whatever my hand finds\nto do\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003ch2 id=\"grace\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"heading-wear-glyph\"\u003eGrace\u003c/span\u003e \u003ca href=\"#grace\" class=\"heading-anchor\"\u003e#\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnd yet God continues to be good to me. He continues to teach me and correct\nme, and in this reflection I feel the same consistent \u0026amp; persistent nudge I\u0026rsquo;ve\nbeen feeling since the end of Summer. Praise God for this nudge - to keep going\nin his grace and seek to make better choices today than yesterday.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBy God\u0026rsquo;s grace, the things I do with my might/strength, he often blesses. And I have\nfull confidence in my King that I will be able to work, plan, know, and think a\nlot both in this unconsecrated heavenly age as well as in the eschaton. Sheol\nstill holds some power over me, I have been freed by my King but he hasn\u0026rsquo;t yet\ncome back. In the \u003cstrong\u003ealready but not yet\u003c/strong\u003e the Christian is still to seek the\nLord and trust him.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHe\u0026rsquo;s been faithful to me - \u003ca href=\"/ebenezer/\" class=\"wikilink\"\u003eEbenezer\u003c/a\u003e.\u003c/p\u003e\n", "content_text": "\n!!! note \"Ecclesiastes 9:10\"\n\n Whatever your hand finds to do—do it with all your might; for in Sheol—where you are going—no one works, plans, knows, or thinks about anything.\n\n!!! warning \"Reflection vs Hermeneutics\"\n\n I put this little disclaimer on posts where I'm sure the direction of my\n reflection isn't necessarily consistent with a exegetical teachin gon the\n passage I'm reflecting on. I do not know the intimate context of Ecclesiastes 9\n and so this reflection in very inra-personal and is not meant to be a point in\n teaching in any capacity\n\n## Finding\n\n**Whatever your hand finds to do**... The beginning assumes a search. The faithful\nChristian is not idle... he seeks to do good because it's God's calling on the\nhuman life to steward creation well which requires _work_.\n\n**Finding** doesn't only presume a search, it indicates finding things on the\nsearch... There is no shortage of godly things to do because every single day\nwe're faced with choices that either align or don't with the will Yahweh.\n\nSo whatever my hand does in fact _find to do_ I am _to do_ with _might_...\n\nLately I have not done what I find to do with all my might. I think God is so\ngood to me, and has blessed me through years of transformation to align more\nand more of my will with his... but I've been meaning to refactor something at\nwork for 7 months that's actually keeping me up at night, I pick up my phone to\nscroll when I have a ticket to work on or worse - when I could be watching my\nkids play. I very clearly **do not do with all my might whatever my hand finds\nto do**\n\n## Grace\n\nAnd yet God continues to be good to me. He continues to teach me and correct\nme, and in this reflection I feel the same consistent \u0026 persistent nudge I've\nbeen feeling since the end of Summer. Praise God for this nudge - to keep going\nin his grace and seek to make better choices today than yesterday.\n\nBy God's grace, the things I do with my might/strength, he often blesses. And I have\nfull confidence in my King that I will be able to work, plan, know, and think a\nlot both in this unconsecrated heavenly age as well as in the eschaton. Sheol\nstill holds some power over me, I have been freed by my King but he hasn't yet\ncome back. In the **already but not yet** the Christian is still to seek the\nLord and trust him.\n\nHe's been faithful to me - \u003ca href=\"/ebenezer/\" class=\"wikilink\"\u003eEbenezer\u003c/a\u003e.\n", "summary": "!!! note \"Ecclesiastes 9:10\"", "date_published": "2025-11-26T05:04:07Z", "date_modified": "2025-11-26T05:04:07Z", "authors": [ { "name": "Nic Payne", "url": "https://pype.dev" } ], "tags": [ "reflection", "faith" ] }, { "id": "https://pype.dev/reflection-psalm-93/", "url": "https://pype.dev/reflection-psalm-93/", "title": "Reflection - Psalm 93", "content_html": "\u003cp\u003eYahweh is king\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"admonition note\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"admonition-title\"\u003ePsalm 93\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e93 Yahweh is king; he clothes himself with majesty.\nYahweh clothes himself; he girds himself with might.\nYes, the world is established so that it will not be moved.\n2 Your throne is established from of old;\nyou are from everlasting.\n3 The rivers have lifted up, O Yahweh;\nthe rivers have lifted up their ⌊rumbling⌋;\nthe rivers have lifted up their pounding.\n4 Mightier than the rumblings of many waters,\nmightier than the mighty breakers of the sea,\nYahweh on high is mighty.\n5 Your testimonies are fully reliable.\nHoliness is fitting for your house,\nO Yahweh, ⌊forever⌋.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003ch2 id=\"observations\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"heading-wear-glyph\"\u003eObservations\u003c/span\u003e \u003ca href=\"#observations\" class=\"heading-anchor\"\u003e#\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYahweh is king; \u003cstrong\u003ehe clothes himself\u003c/strong\u003e with majesty. \u003cstrong\u003eYahweh clothes\nhimself\u003c/strong\u003e; he girds himself with might.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIt seems relevant to focus on Yahweh, the king, clothing himself. He has\npartners, humans, and ceremonial guardians in the spiritual realm (cherubim,\nseraphim, etc) and yet he clothes himself. His court doesn\u0026rsquo;t clothe him - they\npraise him certainly, but no one puts on Yahweh\u0026rsquo;s kingly attire besides\nYahweh himself\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003c/ul\u003e\n\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou are everlasting\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIn my post \u003ca href=\"/by-gods-grace/\" class=\"wikilink\" data-title=\"By God\u0026#39;s Grace\" data-description=\"!!! note \u0026#34;Style\u0026#34;\" data-date=\"2025-11-18\" data-preview=\"!!! note \u0026#34;Style\u0026#34;\"\u003eBy God's Grace\u003c/a\u003e I note that Yahweh owns us and everything. He\nis the ruler of the universe because he is everlasting\u0026hellip; no beginning and no\nend\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003c/ul\u003e\n\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003c/ul\u003e\n\u003ch2 id=\"reflection\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"heading-wear-glyph\"\u003eReflection\u003c/span\u003e \u003ca href=\"#reflection\" class=\"heading-anchor\"\u003e#\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"/by-gods-grace/\" class=\"wikilink\" data-title=\"By God\u0026#39;s Grace\" data-description=\"!!! note \u0026#34;Style\u0026#34;\" data-date=\"2025-11-18\" data-preview=\"!!! note \u0026#34;Style\u0026#34;\"\u003eBy God's Grace\u003c/a\u003e the words \u0026ldquo;Yahweh is king\u0026rdquo; are a comfort to me. I am a\nwretch, but a wretch Yahweh is working on, has grace with, and ultimately\ninvites into paradise\u0026hellip; Paradise in that he invites me to be a complete human,\nto fulfil purpose I was designed for. By God\u0026rsquo;s grace, he is king and he\u0026rsquo;s given\nme a will that seeks to align with his\u0026hellip; Amen\u003c/p\u003e\n", "content_text": "\nYahweh is king\n\n!!! note \"Psalm 93\"\n\n 93 Yahweh is king; he clothes himself with majesty.\n Yahweh clothes himself; he girds himself with might.\n Yes, the world is established so that it will not be moved.\n 2 Your throne is established from of old;\n you are from everlasting.\n 3 The rivers have lifted up, O Yahweh;\n the rivers have lifted up their ⌊rumbling⌋;\n the rivers have lifted up their pounding.\n 4 Mightier than the rumblings of many waters,\n mightier than the mighty breakers of the sea,\n Yahweh on high is mighty.\n 5 Your testimonies are fully reliable.\n Holiness is fitting for your house,\n O Yahweh, ⌊forever⌋.\n\n## Observations\n\n- Yahweh is king; **he clothes himself** with majesty. **Yahweh clothes\n himself**; he girds himself with might.\n\n - It seems relevant to focus on Yahweh, the king, clothing himself. He has\n partners, humans, and ceremonial guardians in the spiritual realm (cherubim,\n seraphim, etc) and yet he clothes himself. His court doesn't clothe him - they\n praise him certainly, but no one puts on Yahweh's kingly attire besides\n Yahweh himself\n\n- You are everlasting\n - In my post \u003ca href=\"/by-gods-grace/\" class=\"wikilink\" data-title=\"By God\u0026#39;s Grace\" data-description=\"!!! note \u0026#34;Style\u0026#34;\" data-date=\"2025-11-18\"\u003eBy God\u0026#39;s Grace\u003c/a\u003e I note that Yahweh owns us and everything. He\n is the ruler of the universe because he is everlasting... no beginning and no\n end\n\n## Reflection\n\n\u003ca href=\"/by-gods-grace/\" class=\"wikilink\" data-title=\"By God\u0026#39;s Grace\" data-description=\"!!! note \u0026#34;Style\u0026#34;\" data-date=\"2025-11-18\"\u003eBy God\u0026#39;s Grace\u003c/a\u003e the words \"Yahweh is king\" are a comfort to me. I am a\nwretch, but a wretch Yahweh is working on, has grace with, and ultimately\ninvites into paradise... Paradise in that he invites me to be a complete human,\nto fulfil purpose I was designed for. By God's grace, he is king and he's given\nme a will that seeks to align with his... Amen\n", "summary": "Yahweh is king", "date_published": "2025-11-19T05:59:43Z", "date_modified": "2025-11-19T05:59:43Z", "authors": [ { "name": "Nic Payne", "url": "https://pype.dev" } ], "tags": [ "reflection", "faith" ] }, { "id": "https://pype.dev/by-gods-grace/", "url": "https://pype.dev/by-gods-grace/", "title": "By God’s Grace", "content_html": "\u003cdiv class=\"admonition note\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"admonition-title\"\u003eStyle\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis blog was fully orated and transcribed. I edited the transcript with some links and formatting\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003cfigure\u003e\n\u003cimg src=\"https://dropper.wayl.one/file/a014f1f5-0ea6-46b7-94cd-c2c6f02ad9a6.mp3\" alt=\"You can listen now!\"\u003e\n\u003c/figure\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOkay, so I had this thought about, honestly, just like what I would say. If\nsomebody asked me, why do I say the phrase \u0026ldquo;by God\u0026rsquo;s grace\u0026rdquo; so often? And it\u0026rsquo;s\nrelated to a \u003ca href=\"/reflection-psalm-9-1\"\u003ethought I had a while back\u003c/a\u003e where my\nbest friend would, where Michael would say, \u0026ldquo;praise God\u0026rdquo;, out of like forced\nhabit. And it developed into a great point of spiritual maturity to say by reflex\n\u0026ldquo;praise God\u0026rdquo; in you know our slightly older age here, in our young parenthood.\nAnd so it\u0026rsquo;s really related to that - I also say \u0026ldquo;by God\u0026rsquo;s grace\u0026rdquo; a lot\nand why do I say that?\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI think it\u0026rsquo;s related to these central themes that have been a part of my\nreflections of freedom but freedom to what? It is freedom to love Jesus - see\n\u003ca href=\"/helkyo-what-is-it-for-god-to-draw-man-to-him/\" class=\"wikilink\" data-title=\"Helkyo - What is it for God to draw man to him?\" data-description=\"In John 6 there is a curious phrase about how the Father initiates the process of Salvation in the hearts of men.\" data-date=\"2025-10-27\" data-preview=\"In John 6 there is a curious phrase about how the Father initiates the process of Salvation in the hearts of men.\"\u003eHelkyo - What is it for God to draw man to him?\u003c/a\u003e And before that, I\u0026rsquo;m not free\nat all.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"admonition danger\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"admonition-title\"\u003eDanger\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI\u0026rsquo;m just bound by sin.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnd that paired with believing loyalty and the choices I make every day - And\nI\u0026rsquo;m free to make the right choice\u0026hellip;\nAnd sometimes even in God\u0026rsquo;s sovereignty, I obey my sin instead of my king.\nWhich brings me to by God\u0026rsquo;s grace.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003ch2 id=\"god-s-grace\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"heading-wear-glyph\"\u003eGod’s Grace\u003c/span\u003e \u003ca href=\"#god-s-grace\" class=\"heading-anchor\"\u003e#\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMy life is not my own, and this is \u003ca href=\"/kind/\" class=\"glossary-term\" title=\"kind - kubernetes in docker\" data-hover-title=\"kind\"\u003ekind\u003c/a\u003e of a cliched phrase almost, but it\u0026rsquo;s\nsomething I think I\u0026rsquo;m just, I\u0026rsquo;m coming to accept in a new way.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"admonition note\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"admonition-title\"\u003eNote\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMy life does not belong to me.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003ch3 id=\"belongings\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"heading-wear-glyph\"\u003eBelongings\u003c/span\u003e \u003ca href=\"#belongings\" class=\"heading-anchor\"\u003e#\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI have possessions and I can do kind of whatever I want with them.\nI could break them and mend them and use them or not or let them get dirty or\nclean them. And it\u0026rsquo;s up to me because they\u0026rsquo;re my possessions.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnd we have lots of Christian language - \u0026ldquo;God adopts us as sons\u0026rdquo; and we\u0026rsquo;re\n\u0026ldquo;co-heirs and co-conquerers with Jesus\u0026rdquo;\u0026hellip;\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThose things are true, but also God owns us.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"admonition note\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"admonition-title\"\u003eNote\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEverything in creation is his.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHe redeems us unto himself, not just as a father and son, not just as the\nprodigal son or something like that - all things are made by him and held together by him.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHe owns us.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSo that\u0026rsquo;s a \u003cem\u003efundamental reality\u003c/em\u003e for all people to either\u0026hellip;\n\u003cstrong\u003eaccept\u003c/strong\u003e or not, because there\u0026rsquo;s nothing they can do to \u003cstrong\u003eaffect\u003c/strong\u003e it.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNothing anybody can do will update the reality that \u003ca href=\"/reflection-psalm-93/\"\u003eYahweh is king\u003c/a\u003e.\nPeople can either accept that or not.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBy God\u0026rsquo;s grace, I am free to accept it.\nBy God\u0026rsquo;s grace, he has picked me out of the kingdom of darkness and placed me,\nimported me into the kingdom of light.\nHe has made me a citizen of the celestial city.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI didn\u0026rsquo;t choose it.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI didn\u0026rsquo;t ask.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHe \u003ca href=\"/helkyo-what-is-it-for-god-to-draw-man-to-him\"\u003edrew\u003c/a\u003e me to him.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003ch2 id=\"freedom\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"heading-wear-glyph\"\u003eFreedom\u003c/span\u003e \u003ca href=\"#freedom\" class=\"heading-anchor\"\u003e#\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI can say \u0026ldquo;by God\u0026rsquo;s grace\u0026rdquo; because it\u0026rsquo;s by no other thing that I have breath\nright now and that I can write this reflection.\nHe holds the universe together.\nMy life is not my own to live to me because I don\u0026rsquo;t own my life.\nI am the possession of the king of the universe.\nAnd I am free to find fulfillment and joy in that.\nI am free to be satisfied by the king.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFreed from the oppression of materialism and worldliness and lust and greed.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI\u0026rsquo;m freed from the oppression of darkness.\nFreed to accept and call Yahweh my loving king rather than the conquering king\nwho I stand opposed to in the end times, whatever that kind of means.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBy God\u0026rsquo;s grace, I get to love him.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnd so to today, why do I say by God\u0026rsquo;s grace?\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBecause everything that is good that happens to me is by his grace.\nAnd every trial or pain or bad thing I could think of or experience is only as bad as it is by his grace.\nAnd that trial, whatever it was or whatever may come -\nI pray I can echo Paul\u0026rsquo;s words and say that it pales in comparison to the glory of the king.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePraise the Lord.\u003c/p\u003e\n", "content_text": "\n!!! note \"Style\"\n\n This blog was fully orated and transcribed. I edited the transcript with some links and formatting\n\n![You can listen now!](https://dropper.wayl.one/file/a014f1f5-0ea6-46b7-94cd-c2c6f02ad9a6.mp3)\n\nOkay, so I had this thought about, honestly, just like what I would say. If\nsomebody asked me, why do I say the phrase \"by God's grace\" so often? And it's\nrelated to a [thought I had a while back](/reflection-psalm-9-1) where my\nbest friend would, where Michael would say, \"praise God\", out of like forced\nhabit. And it developed into a great point of spiritual maturity to say by reflex\n\"praise God\" in you know our slightly older age here, in our young parenthood.\nAnd so it's really related to that - I also say \"by God's grace\" a lot\nand why do I say that?\n\nI think it's related to these central themes that have been a part of my\nreflections of freedom but freedom to what? It is freedom to love Jesus - see\n\u003ca href=\"/helkyo-what-is-it-for-god-to-draw-man-to-him/\" class=\"wikilink\" data-title=\"Helkyo - What is it for God to draw man to him?\" data-description=\"In John 6 there is a curious phrase about how the Father initiates the process of Salvation in the hearts of men.\" data-date=\"2025-10-27\"\u003eHelkyo - What is it for God to draw man to him?\u003c/a\u003e And before that, I'm not free\nat all.\n\n!!! danger \"\"\n\n I'm just bound by sin.\n\nAnd that paired with believing loyalty and the choices I make every day - And\nI'm free to make the right choice...\nAnd sometimes even in God's sovereignty, I obey my sin instead of my king.\nWhich brings me to by God's grace.\n\n## God's Grace\n\nMy life is not my own, and this is kind of a cliched phrase almost, but it's\nsomething I think I'm just, I'm coming to accept in a new way.\n\n!!! note \"\"\n\n My life does not belong to me.\n\n### Belongings\n\nI have possessions and I can do kind of whatever I want with them.\nI could break them and mend them and use them or not or let them get dirty or\nclean them. And it's up to me because they're my possessions.\n\nAnd we have lots of Christian language - \"God adopts us as sons\" and we're\n\"co-heirs and co-conquerers with Jesus\"...\n\nThose things are true, but also God owns us.\n\n!!! note \"\"\n\n Everything in creation is his.\n\nHe redeems us unto himself, not just as a father and son, not just as the\nprodigal son or something like that - all things are made by him and held together by him.\n\nHe owns us.\n\nSo that's a _fundamental reality_ for all people to either...\n**accept** or not, because there's nothing they can do to **affect** it.\n\nNothing anybody can do will update the reality that [Yahweh is king](/reflection-psalm-93/).\nPeople can either accept that or not.\n\nBy God's grace, I am free to accept it.\nBy God's grace, he has picked me out of the kingdom of darkness and placed me,\nimported me into the kingdom of light.\nHe has made me a citizen of the celestial city.\n\nI didn't choose it.\n\nI didn't ask.\n\nHe [drew](/helkyo-what-is-it-for-god-to-draw-man-to-him) me to him.\n\n## Freedom\n\nI can say \"by God's grace\" because it's by no other thing that I have breath\nright now and that I can write this reflection.\nHe holds the universe together.\nMy life is not my own to live to me because I don't own my life.\nI am the possession of the king of the universe.\nAnd I am free to find fulfillment and joy in that.\nI am free to be satisfied by the king.\n\nFreed from the oppression of materialism and worldliness and lust and greed.\n\nI'm freed from the oppression of darkness.\nFreed to accept and call Yahweh my loving king rather than the conquering king\nwho I stand opposed to in the end times, whatever that kind of means.\n\nBy God's grace, I get to love him.\n\nAnd so to today, why do I say by God's grace?\n\nBecause everything that is good that happens to me is by his grace.\nAnd every trial or pain or bad thing I could think of or experience is only as bad as it is by his grace.\nAnd that trial, whatever it was or whatever may come -\nI pray I can echo Paul's words and say that it pales in comparison to the glory of the king.\n\nPraise the Lord.\n", "summary": "!!! note \"Style\"", "date_published": "2025-11-18T13:27:15Z", "date_modified": "2025-11-18T13:27:15Z", "authors": [ { "name": "Nic Payne", "url": "https://pype.dev" } ], "tags": [ "reflection", "faith" ] }, { "id": "https://pype.dev/reflection-go-forward-only-thing-to-do/", "url": "https://pype.dev/reflection-go-forward-only-thing-to-do/", "title": "Reflection - Go Forward - Only Thing To Do", "content_html": "\u003ch2 id=\"reflection\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"heading-wear-glyph\"\u003eReflection\u003c/span\u003e \u003ca href=\"#reflection\" class=\"heading-anchor\"\u003e#\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eToday I am thinking about the blessings in my life\u0026hellip; In my opinion, I have a\nlot going for me - God has been so utterly good to me that finding fault with\nanything that was outside my control feels near-sinful\u0026hellip;\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIn my adult life I have a reached several \u0026ldquo;checkpoints of success\u0026rdquo; for lack of\na better stupid word\u0026hellip;\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003col\u003e\n\u003cli\u003esmokin\u0026rsquo; hot wife that loves Jesus\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e2 beautiful daughters\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003estable work that I\u0026rsquo;m also good at\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eby all accounts - excellent physical health\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eby all accounts - very decent mental health (more on this later)\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ea house, food, water, and the means to do recreation\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003c/ol\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSo, it\u0026rsquo;s very clear that God has been very good to me - and at the same time\nit\u0026rsquo;s probably wrong to give the impression that there was no sacrifice, pain,\nor affliction in my life so far\u0026hellip;\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHere\u0026rsquo;s what\u0026rsquo;s on my mind - I \u003ca href=\"/kind/\" class=\"glossary-term\" title=\"kind - kubernetes in docker\" data-hover-title=\"kind\"\u003ekind\u003c/a\u003e of think God has given me so much in my adult\nlife as a byproduct of my childhood. This note will not be full of gory\ndetails, but here\u0026rsquo;s one I find comical (though my wife finds it sad\u0026hellip; you be\nthe judge)\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 id=\"breakfast-and-school\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"heading-wear-glyph\"\u003eBreakfast and School\u003c/span\u003e \u003ca href=\"#breakfast-and-school\" class=\"heading-anchor\"\u003e#\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhen I was a kid, like elementary school, I would take care of myself to pretty\nextraordinary degrees. The short of this example is that at 5 years old I was\ngetting myself up in the morning, getting dressed, making breakfast, and then\nwaking my mom up to take me to school.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI recently found out that my dad knew this and when he made some work changes\nthat resulted in him being home in the morning, it turned out I wanted nearly\nnothing to do with it! I still wanted to make my own breakfast and do my normal\nroutine.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"admonition note\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"admonition-title\"\u003eNote\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eTurns out a lot of that is explained by Autism \u003cem\u003eshrug emoji\u003c/em\u003e who knew?\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eLooking back, there\u0026rsquo;s deep threads about who I am, my work ethic, outlook on\nresponsibility, etc. that have roots in my childhood morning situation\u0026hellip; but\nto me, what I think are the results of this upbringing are the gifts that God\nhas given me\u0026hellip; not to \u0026ldquo;make up\u0026rdquo; for a lost childhood, but as humans simply\nadapt they evolve and become better at handling what\u0026rsquo;s thrown at them.\nTheologically I would say these experiences teach wisdom, and wisdom is a\npattern in which we are to walk through life in a godly manner.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eLet me wrap up this short anecdote - my dad was visiting recently and over the\ncourse of conversation this fact about my childhood came up. We\u0026rsquo;re all adults\nnow, my parents are divorced and married to other people, and when this came up\nI saw for just a second some pain on my dad\u0026rsquo;s face. It\u0026rsquo;s probably why my wife\nthinks this is sad too - for the observer, my childhood wasn\u0026rsquo;t taken from me,\nbut it was never given either (again - there\u0026rsquo;s \u003cstrong\u003emuch more\u003c/strong\u003e than this silly\nbreakfast thing). That\u0026rsquo;s sad to emotionally-regulated adults who know what a\nchild needs. And in my journey as a dad I totally see how I was neglected in\nmany ways - but again, I\u0026rsquo;m not upset about it, and at the same time I wouldn\u0026rsquo;t\nattempt to replicate my experience for my own children\u0026hellip;\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI guess what I\u0026rsquo;m saying is that God is good, and I think it\u0026rsquo;s in spending so\nmuch time and energy in focusing on his goodness that the sad stuff can kind of\njust\u0026hellip; fall away\u0026hellip; It certainly happened, but it happen\u003cstrong\u003eed\u003c/strong\u003e and today is a\nnew day.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFinally consider Bilbo, The Hobbit, when he falls down deep into the goblin\u0026rsquo;s\ncave, right before meeting Golem. He takes a tumble, gets up, and\u0026hellip;\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"admonition note\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"admonition-title\"\u003eOnly thing to do\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e“Go back?\u0026quot; he thought. \u0026ldquo;No good at all! Go sideways? Impossible! Go forward? Only thing to do! On we go!\u0026rdquo; So up he got, and trotted along\u0026hellip;\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n", "content_text": "\n## Reflection\n\nToday I am thinking about the blessings in my life... In my opinion, I have a\nlot going for me - God has been so utterly good to me that finding fault with\nanything that was outside my control feels near-sinful...\n\nIn my adult life I have a reached several \"checkpoints of success\" for lack of\na better stupid word...\n\n1. smokin' hot wife that loves Jesus\n2. 2 beautiful daughters\n3. stable work that I'm also good at\n4. by all accounts - excellent physical health\n5. by all accounts - very decent mental health (more on this later)\n6. a house, food, water, and the means to do recreation\n\nSo, it's very clear that God has been very good to me - and at the same time\nit's probably wrong to give the impression that there was no sacrifice, pain,\nor affliction in my life so far...\n\nHere's what's on my mind - I kind of think God has given me so much in my adult\nlife as a byproduct of my childhood. This note will not be full of gory\ndetails, but here's one I find comical (though my wife finds it sad... you be\nthe judge)\n\n### Breakfast and School\n\nWhen I was a kid, like elementary school, I would take care of myself to pretty\nextraordinary degrees. The short of this example is that at 5 years old I was\ngetting myself up in the morning, getting dressed, making breakfast, and then\nwaking my mom up to take me to school.\n\nI recently found out that my dad knew this and when he made some work changes\nthat resulted in him being home in the morning, it turned out I wanted nearly\nnothing to do with it! I still wanted to make my own breakfast and do my normal\nroutine.\n\n!!! note \"\"\n\n Turns out a lot of that is explained by Autism *shrug emoji* who knew?\n\nLooking back, there's deep threads about who I am, my work ethic, outlook on\nresponsibility, etc. that have roots in my childhood morning situation... but\nto me, what I think are the results of this upbringing are the gifts that God\nhas given me... not to \"make up\" for a lost childhood, but as humans simply\nadapt they evolve and become better at handling what's thrown at them.\nTheologically I would say these experiences teach wisdom, and wisdom is a\npattern in which we are to walk through life in a godly manner.\n\nLet me wrap up this short anecdote - my dad was visiting recently and over the\ncourse of conversation this fact about my childhood came up. We're all adults\nnow, my parents are divorced and married to other people, and when this came up\nI saw for just a second some pain on my dad's face. It's probably why my wife\nthinks this is sad too - for the observer, my childhood wasn't taken from me,\nbut it was never given either (again - there's **much more** than this silly\nbreakfast thing). That's sad to emotionally-regulated adults who know what a\nchild needs. And in my journey as a dad I totally see how I was neglected in\nmany ways - but again, I'm not upset about it, and at the same time I wouldn't\nattempt to replicate my experience for my own children...\n\nI guess what I'm saying is that God is good, and I think it's in spending so\nmuch time and energy in focusing on his goodness that the sad stuff can kind of\njust... fall away... It certainly happened, but it happen**ed** and today is a\nnew day.\n\nFinally consider Bilbo, The Hobbit, when he falls down deep into the goblin's\ncave, right before meeting Golem. He takes a tumble, gets up, and...\n\n!!! note \"Only thing to do\"\n\n “Go back?\" he thought. \"No good at all! Go sideways? Impossible! Go forward? Only thing to do! On we go!\" So up he got, and trotted along...\n", "summary": "Today I am thinking about the blessings in my life... In my opinion, I have a lot going for me - God has been so utterly good to me that finding fault with...", "date_published": "2025-11-05T06:04:16Z", "date_modified": "2025-11-05T06:04:16Z", "authors": [ { "name": "Nic Payne", "url": "https://pype.dev" } ], "tags": [ "reflection", "faith" ] }, { "id": "https://pype.dev/reflection-psalm-9-1/", "url": "https://pype.dev/reflection-psalm-9-1/", "title": "Reflection - Psalm 9:1", "content_html": "\u003cdiv class=\"admonition note\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"admonition-title\"\u003ePsalm 9:1\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI will thank Yahweh with all my heart. I will tell of all your wonderful deeds.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003ch2 id=\"praise-god\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"heading-wear-glyph\"\u003ePraise God\u003c/span\u003e \u003ca href=\"#praise-god\" class=\"heading-anchor\"\u003e#\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe phrase \u0026ldquo;praise God\u0026rdquo; has become a common phrase in my life. I\u0026rsquo;m blessed to\nhave my best friend, Michael, in my life after 15+ years. Back in high school,\nI forget how it came up, but he told me that anytime something good happens, he\nforces himself to just audibly say \u0026ldquo;praise God\u0026rdquo;. Jesus certainly quickened that\nto my heart, and it was again in high school that I witnessed some fruit of,\nnot using the phrase, but practicing giving glory to God in the smaller moments.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSome youth group kids were helping a church member replace their roof - so lots\nof high-schoolers tearing shingles off, hauling garbage, etc. As we were on the\nroof, one of the guys nearly fell off (we hadn\u0026rsquo;t even heard of \u0026ldquo;tie-offs\u0026rdquo;\nbefore). Something like a nail caught his shorts and he recovered his grip. I\nimmediately said \u0026ldquo;Praise God\u0026rdquo;, and him and another guy looked at me and they go\n\u0026ldquo;\u0026hellip;. ya! Praise God for sure!\u0026rdquo; and I think they had a similar experience then\nlike I had with Michael, where when something good happens we draw attention to\nthe Lord, and that edifies those around us.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI don\u0026rsquo;t know when it became habit, but certainly \u0026ldquo;today\u0026rdquo; not a day goes by where\nthe phrase \u0026ldquo;Praise God\u0026rdquo; doesn\u0026rsquo;t leave my lips at least once. On one hand, I\nthink Jesus has changed my heart to be more immediately responsive to him as\nthe giver of good things, and so it\u0026rsquo;s natural now that when something good\nhappens not to \u0026ldquo;just say\u0026rdquo; \u0026ldquo;Praise the Lord\u0026rdquo;, but to give thanks and actually\npraise the Lord!. This has been an edifying practice in my life for my own\nheart. However, on the other hand, bringing attention to God\u0026rsquo;s glory in the\nwake of good things is good for others. I have noticed my wife and kids, in\ntheir own ways, adopt a similar response to good things, and that\u0026rsquo;s\nbeen a steady stream of encouragement for me as the Lord continues to shape me\nand my family.\u003c/p\u003e\n", "content_text": "\n!!! note \"Psalm 9:1\"\n\n I will thank Yahweh with all my heart. I will tell of all your wonderful deeds.\n\n## Praise God\n\nThe phrase \"praise God\" has become a common phrase in my life. I'm blessed to\nhave my best friend, Michael, in my life after 15+ years. Back in high school,\nI forget how it came up, but he told me that anytime something good happens, he\nforces himself to just audibly say \"praise God\". Jesus certainly quickened that\nto my heart, and it was again in high school that I witnessed some fruit of,\nnot using the phrase, but practicing giving glory to God in the smaller moments.\n\nSome youth group kids were helping a church member replace their roof - so lots\nof high-schoolers tearing shingles off, hauling garbage, etc. As we were on the\nroof, one of the guys nearly fell off (we hadn't even heard of \"tie-offs\"\nbefore). Something like a nail caught his shorts and he recovered his grip. I\nimmediately said \"Praise God\", and him and another guy looked at me and they go\n\".... ya! Praise God for sure!\" and I think they had a similar experience then\nlike I had with Michael, where when something good happens we draw attention to\nthe Lord, and that edifies those around us.\n\nI don't know when it became habit, but certainly \"today\" not a day goes by where\nthe phrase \"Praise God\" doesn't leave my lips at least once. On one hand, I\nthink Jesus has changed my heart to be more immediately responsive to him as\nthe giver of good things, and so it's natural now that when something good\nhappens not to \"just say\" \"Praise the Lord\", but to give thanks and actually\npraise the Lord!. This has been an edifying practice in my life for my own\nheart. However, on the other hand, bringing attention to God's glory in the\nwake of good things is good for others. I have noticed my wife and kids, in\ntheir own ways, adopt a similar response to good things, and that's\nbeen a steady stream of encouragement for me as the Lord continues to shape me\nand my family.\n", "summary": "!!! note \"Psalm 9:1\"", "date_published": "2025-10-30T06:12:37Z", "date_modified": "2025-10-30T06:12:37Z", "authors": [ { "name": "Nic Payne", "url": "https://pype.dev" } ], "tags": [ "reflection", "faith" ] }, { "id": "https://pype.dev/reflection-mark-4-1-20/", "url": "https://pype.dev/reflection-mark-4-1-20/", "title": "Reflection - Mark 4:1-20", "content_html": "\u003ch2 id=\"the-soils\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"heading-wear-glyph\"\u003eThe Soils\u003c/span\u003e \u003ca href=\"#the-soils\" class=\"heading-anchor\"\u003e#\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI am in the middle of reprocessing the soils\u0026rsquo; parable - I heard a very\ninteresting interpretation the other day that I\u0026rsquo;m following up on. BUt while I\nwait for clarity in that conversation, there is still obvious truth for me to\nreflect on this morning\u0026hellip;\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cdetails class=\"admonition note\" open\u003e\n\u003csummary class=\"admonition-title\"\u003eMark 4:1-20\u003c/summary\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMark 4:1–20 (LEB): 4And again he began to teach beside the sea, and a very large crowd was gathered to him, so that he got into a boat and sat on the sea, and the whole crowd was at the sea on the land. 2 And he began to teach them many things in parables, and was saying to them in his teaching, 3 “Listen! Behold, the sower went out to sow. 4 And it happened that while he was sowing, some seed fell on the side of the path, and the birds came and devoured it. 5 And other seed fell on the rocky ground where it did not have much soil, and it sprang up at once, because it did not have any depth of soil. 6 And when the sun rose it was scorched, and because it did not have enough root, it withered. 7 And other seed fell among the thorn plants, and the thorn plants came up and choked it, and it did not produce grain. 8 And other seed fell on the good soil, and produced grain, coming up and increasing, and it bore a crop—one thirty and one sixty and one a hundred times as much. 9 And he said, “Whoever has ears to hear, let him hear!” 10 And when he was alone, those around him together with the twelve began asking him about the parables. 11 And he said to them, “To you has been granted the secret of the kingdom of God, but to those who are outside everything is in parables, 12 so that ‘they may look closely and not perceive, and they may listen carefully and not understand, lest they turn and it be forgiven them.’ ” 13 And he said to them, “Do you not understand this parable? And how will you understand all the parables? 14 The sower sows the word. 15 And these are the ones beside the path where the word is sown, and whenever they hear it, immediately Satan comes and takes away the word that was sown in them. 16 And these are like the ones sown on the rocky ground, who whenever they hear the word immediately receive it with joy. 17 And they have no root in themselves, but are temporary. Then when affliction or persecution comes because of the word, immediately they fall away. 18 And others are the ones sown among the thorn plants—these are the ones who hear the word, 19 and the cares of the world and the deceitfulness of wealth and the desires for other things come in and choke the word and it becomes unproductive. 20 And those are the ones sown on the good soil, who hear the word and receive it and bear fruit—one thirty and one sixty and one a hundred times as much.”\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/details\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"admonition note\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"admonition-title\"\u003eMark 4:18-19\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e18 And others are the ones sown among the thorn plants—these are the ones who hear the word, 19 and the cares of the world and the deceitfulness of wealth and the desires for other things come in and choke the word and it becomes unproductive.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003ch2 id=\"the-thorny-soil\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"heading-wear-glyph\"\u003eThe Thorny Soil\u003c/span\u003e \u003ca href=\"#the-thorny-soil\" class=\"heading-anchor\"\u003e#\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBy God\u0026rsquo;s good grace on my life, the Word has been sown and without a doubt my\nfaith has been proven beyond the depths of the path and shallow soils. My life\nhas not been without testing (not that I would ever claim to have not been\ngiven a better life than 99% of humans in the history of the world), but I fear\nthe test of my heart as it pertains to the thorny soil. God has been very good\nto me in work and finances. We aren\u0026rsquo;t ultra-wealthy, but I do have more than I\nneed. And something I notice\u0026hellip; as I\u0026rsquo;ve earned more, and invested more, I care\nmore\u0026hellip; My thoughts often wander around from \u0026ldquo;I should read that Proverb\u0026rdquo; to\n\u0026ldquo;If I can save X more dollars I could retire N weeks sooner\u0026rdquo;. I think what I\ndesire is freedom from the corporate cycle in America, but I fear what I desire\nis the comfort to give into my own whims without having to show up to a job\ntomorrow.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI do not think financial independence is a sin, or the desire of it. But I\nthink it does take a special constitution, a unique gifting from God, to\nsteward riches appropriately in a broken world while submitting oneself to the\nkingship of Jesus. I have known several wealthy Christians - they\u0026rsquo;re hard\nworkers and in general I think they\u0026rsquo;re honoring God with their work\u0026hellip; but do\nI? And in the working, whether honoring or not in the manner that I \u003cem\u003edo\u003c/em\u003e it, am I\nhonoring God in the manner in which I \u003cem\u003ethink\u003c/em\u003e about it? I don\u0026rsquo;t know\u0026hellip; I\nhonestly can only say with 100% certainty that I\u0026rsquo;m thankful God knows my heart\nbetter than I do, and I pray he helps my unbelief and quenches the underlying\nfears and anxieties about the riches of this life and what those riches enable.\u003c/p\u003e\n", "content_text": "\n## The Soils\n\nI am in the middle of reprocessing the soils' parable - I heard a very\ninteresting interpretation the other day that I'm following up on. BUt while I\nwait for clarity in that conversation, there is still obvious truth for me to\nreflect on this morning...\n\n???+ note \"Mark 4:1-20\"\n\n Mark 4:1–20 (LEB): 4And again he began to teach beside the sea, and a very large crowd was gathered to him, so that he got into a boat and sat on the sea, and the whole crowd was at the sea on the land. 2 And he began to teach them many things in parables, and was saying to them in his teaching, 3 “Listen! Behold, the sower went out to sow. 4 And it happened that while he was sowing, some seed fell on the side of the path, and the birds came and devoured it. 5 And other seed fell on the rocky ground where it did not have much soil, and it sprang up at once, because it did not have any depth of soil. 6 And when the sun rose it was scorched, and because it did not have enough root, it withered. 7 And other seed fell among the thorn plants, and the thorn plants came up and choked it, and it did not produce grain. 8 And other seed fell on the good soil, and produced grain, coming up and increasing, and it bore a crop—one thirty and one sixty and one a hundred times as much. 9 And he said, “Whoever has ears to hear, let him hear!” 10 And when he was alone, those around him together with the twelve began asking him about the parables. 11 And he said to them, “To you has been granted the secret of the kingdom of God, but to those who are outside everything is in parables, 12 so that ‘they may look closely and not perceive, and they may listen carefully and not understand, lest they turn and it be forgiven them.’ ” 13 And he said to them, “Do you not understand this parable? And how will you understand all the parables? 14 The sower sows the word. 15 And these are the ones beside the path where the word is sown, and whenever they hear it, immediately Satan comes and takes away the word that was sown in them. 16 And these are like the ones sown on the rocky ground, who whenever they hear the word immediately receive it with joy. 17 And they have no root in themselves, but are temporary. Then when affliction or persecution comes because of the word, immediately they fall away. 18 And others are the ones sown among the thorn plants—these are the ones who hear the word, 19 and the cares of the world and the deceitfulness of wealth and the desires for other things come in and choke the word and it becomes unproductive. 20 And those are the ones sown on the good soil, who hear the word and receive it and bear fruit—one thirty and one sixty and one a hundred times as much.”\n\n!!! note \"Mark 4:18-19\"\n\n 18 And others are the ones sown among the thorn plants—these are the ones who hear the word, 19 and the cares of the world and the deceitfulness of wealth and the desires for other things come in and choke the word and it becomes unproductive.\n\n## The Thorny Soil\n\nBy God's good grace on my life, the Word has been sown and without a doubt my\nfaith has been proven beyond the depths of the path and shallow soils. My life\nhas not been without testing (not that I would ever claim to have not been\ngiven a better life than 99% of humans in the history of the world), but I fear\nthe test of my heart as it pertains to the thorny soil. God has been very good\nto me in work and finances. We aren't ultra-wealthy, but I do have more than I\nneed. And something I notice... as I've earned more, and invested more, I care\nmore... My thoughts often wander around from \"I should read that Proverb\" to\n\"If I can save X more dollars I could retire N weeks sooner\". I think what I\ndesire is freedom from the corporate cycle in America, but I fear what I desire\nis the comfort to give into my own whims without having to show up to a job\ntomorrow.\n\nI do not think financial independence is a sin, or the desire of it. But I\nthink it does take a special constitution, a unique gifting from God, to\nsteward riches appropriately in a broken world while submitting oneself to the\nkingship of Jesus. I have known several wealthy Christians - they're hard\nworkers and in general I think they're honoring God with their work... but do\nI? And in the working, whether honoring or not in the manner that I _do_ it, am I\nhonoring God in the manner in which I _think_ about it? I don't know... I\nhonestly can only say with 100% certainty that I'm thankful God knows my heart\nbetter than I do, and I pray he helps my unbelief and quenches the underlying\nfears and anxieties about the riches of this life and what those riches enable.\n", "summary": "I am in the middle of reprocessing the soils' parable - I heard a very interesting interpretation the other day that I'm following up on. BUt while I wait...", "date_published": "2025-10-21T06:09:43Z", "date_modified": "2025-10-21T06:09:43Z", "authors": [ { "name": "Nic Payne", "url": "https://pype.dev" } ], "tags": [ "reflection", "faith" ] }, { "id": "https://pype.dev/reflection-john-21-12/", "url": "https://pype.dev/reflection-john-21-12/", "title": "Reflection - John 21:12", "content_html": "\u003cdiv class=\"admonition note\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"admonition-title\"\u003eJohn 21:12\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eJesus said to them, “Come, eat breakfast!” But none of the disciples dared to ask him, “Who are you?” because they knew that it was the Lord.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003ch2 id=\"come-and-eat\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"heading-wear-glyph\"\u003eCome and eat\u003c/span\u003e \u003ca href=\"#come-and-eat\" class=\"heading-anchor\"\u003e#\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eJesus offers this communion with himself every day, and to very believer\u0026hellip;\nSharing a meal with someone is a pretty intimate thing (it\u0026rsquo;s why hibachi with\nstrangers is awkward). Sitting around a table, especially where you\u0026rsquo;d be eating\nwith your hands, is a setting for family, or the family you choose (friends).\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eJesus is the King of the universe, and he offers a seat at the table. I want\nthis to sit in my head without some unknown ethereal deep metaphorical\nmeaning\u0026hellip; The simple truth is Jesus offers not only a place to sit next to\nhim, to enjoy his company and wisdom, but the contents of the table. At the\nLast Supper he says he is the bread and cup, and after his resurrection he\ninvites his disciples to sit with him on the beach and eat breakfast here in\nJohn 21. Every invitation to eat with him is to share the same meat, the wine,\nthe conversation with the Saints, and ultimately the prize of time with the\nLord.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eJesus is the \u003ca href=\"/reflection-philippians-3-8/#gain\"\u003eprize\u003c/a\u003e, not what he can do.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI am hesitant to answer this call often\u0026hellip; and it\u0026rsquo;s because I\u0026rsquo;m often more\nsatisfied by drive-thru wings eaten alone in my office than I am around the\ntable with Jesus and his other disciples. But he still offers an invitation\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cblockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u0026ldquo;Come, eat\u0026rdquo;\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/blockquote\u003e\n\u003ch2 id=\"choose-this-day-whom-you-will-serve\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"heading-wear-glyph\"\u003eChoose this day whom you will serve\u003c/span\u003e \u003ca href=\"#choose-this-day-whom-you-will-serve\" class=\"heading-anchor\"\u003e#\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHis invitation strikes me as the choice following in Joshua 24:15:\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"admonition note\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"admonition-title\"\u003eNote\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBut if it is bad in your eyes to serve Yahweh, choose for yourselves today whom you want to serve, whether it is the gods that your ancestors served beyond the river, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you are living; but as for me and my household, we will serve Yahweh.”\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eJesus\u0026rsquo; offer to come and dine is him presenting a choice\u0026hellip; \u0026ldquo;choose for\nyourselves today whom you want to serve\u0026hellip;. but as for me and my household, we\nwill serve Yahweh.\u0026rdquo;\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe choice is daily, and every reflection of mine comes back to this. Jesus\noffers himself, his table, his righteousness, everything we need for godliness\nand flourishing as creatures made in his image. And yet every day, face to face\nwith the reality of the world the choice is still yours and mine to make -\ntoday, whom will you serve? Every day I have to say \u0026ldquo;as for me and my house, we\nwill serve the Lord\u0026rdquo;\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMay that be true today, and tomorrow but tomorrow has enough trouble of its\nown, so today thank you Jesus for offering the table, to eat and drink\ntogether. And by the grace of his calling, today I will say \u0026ldquo;we will serve the\nLord.\u0026rdquo;\u003c/p\u003e\n", "content_text": "\n!!! note \"John 21:12\"\n\n Jesus said to them, “Come, eat breakfast!” But none of the disciples dared to ask him, “Who are you?” because they knew that it was the Lord.\n\n## Come and eat\n\nJesus offers this communion with himself every day, and to very believer...\nSharing a meal with someone is a pretty intimate thing (it's why hibachi with\nstrangers is awkward). Sitting around a table, especially where you'd be eating\nwith your hands, is a setting for family, or the family you choose (friends).\n\nJesus is the King of the universe, and he offers a seat at the table. I want\nthis to sit in my head without some unknown ethereal deep metaphorical\nmeaning... The simple truth is Jesus offers not only a place to sit next to\nhim, to enjoy his company and wisdom, but the contents of the table. At the\nLast Supper he says he is the bread and cup, and after his resurrection he\ninvites his disciples to sit with him on the beach and eat breakfast here in\nJohn 21. Every invitation to eat with him is to share the same meat, the wine,\nthe conversation with the Saints, and ultimately the prize of time with the\nLord.\n\nJesus is the [prize](/reflection-philippians-3-8/#gain), not what he can do.\n\nI am hesitant to answer this call often... and it's because I'm often more\nsatisfied by drive-thru wings eaten alone in my office than I am around the\ntable with Jesus and his other disciples. But he still offers an invitation\n\n\u003e \"Come, eat\"\n\n## Choose this day whom you will serve\n\nHis invitation strikes me as the choice following in Joshua 24:15:\n\n!!! note \"\"\n\n But if it is bad in your eyes to serve Yahweh, choose for yourselves today whom you want to serve, whether it is the gods that your ancestors served beyond the river, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you are living; but as for me and my household, we will serve Yahweh.”\n\nJesus' offer to come and dine is him presenting a choice... \"choose for\nyourselves today whom you want to serve.... but as for me and my household, we\nwill serve Yahweh.\"\n\nThe choice is daily, and every reflection of mine comes back to this. Jesus\noffers himself, his table, his righteousness, everything we need for godliness\nand flourishing as creatures made in his image. And yet every day, face to face\nwith the reality of the world the choice is still yours and mine to make -\ntoday, whom will you serve? Every day I have to say \"as for me and my house, we\nwill serve the Lord\"\n\nMay that be true today, and tomorrow but tomorrow has enough trouble of its\nown, so today thank you Jesus for offering the table, to eat and drink\ntogether. And by the grace of his calling, today I will say \"we will serve the\nLord.\"\n", "summary": "!!! note \"John 21:12\"", "date_published": "2025-10-17T05:22:12Z", "date_modified": "2025-10-17T05:22:12Z", "authors": [ { "name": "Nic Payne", "url": "https://pype.dev" } ], "tags": [ "reflection", "faith" ] }, { "id": "https://pype.dev/reflection-philippians-3-8/", "url": "https://pype.dev/reflection-philippians-3-8/", "title": "Reflection - Philippians 3:8", "content_html": "\u003cdiv class=\"admonition note\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"admonition-title\"\u003ePhilippians 3:8\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMore than that, I even consider all things to be loss because of the surpassing greatness of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for the sake of whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and consider them dung, in order that I may gain Christ\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003ch2 id=\"loss\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"heading-wear-glyph\"\u003eLoss\u003c/span\u003e \u003ca href=\"#loss\" class=\"heading-anchor\"\u003e#\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePaul\u0026rsquo;s words are convicting this morning\u0026hellip; \u003cstrong\u003eI even consider all things to be loss\u003c/strong\u003e.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"admonition danger\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"admonition-title\"\u003eDanger\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDo I?\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDo I consider anything and everything as closer to \u003cstrong\u003eliterally nothing\u003c/strong\u003e when\ncompared to knowing Jesus? I don\u0026rsquo;t know, this morning I can\u0026rsquo;t even articulate\nwhat it means to consider allthings \u0026ldquo;loss\u0026rdquo;.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cfigure\u003e\n\u003cimg src=\"https://cdn.statically.io/gh/pypeaday/images.pype.dev/main/blog-media/20251014103915_3412470b.png\" alt=\"20251014103915_3412470b.png\"\u003e\n\u003c/figure\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhat a trivial picture but how often is my mind and spirit stuck between the\ngreen boxes\u0026hellip; fixated again on my retirement, kid\u0026rsquo;s school costs, the fact\nthat ribeye steak is still $20/lbs. I have anxities like anyone else over\nthings in the world, and if my net worth increased by $3M today what would my\nresponse be\u0026hellip; would I consider it a loss when compared to the knowledge of\nJesus Christ? Or would I experience joy and hope for my earthly future\u0026hellip;\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOf course Paul\u0026rsquo;s note here isn\u0026rsquo;t that we have to just be angry about good\nthings and be sad forever until we\u0026rsquo;re on the other side of a consecrated\nheaven, but I think the point is if my net worth goes up by a lot of down by a\nlot, at the end of the day that\u0026rsquo;s still between the 2 green boxes in my\ndiagram\u0026hellip; And my mind needs to focus on Jesus. Not for what he can do for me,\npursuing him in light of my own fancies makes him out to be a Santa Claus, and\nin light of Paul\u0026rsquo;s words to the Philippian church would miss the point\nentirely. There is nothing for us to pursue for gain - that is the point.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe ultimate gift is the knowledge of Christ. This knowledge changs us - by the\nmolding hand of Yahweh through the mediating power and authority of Jesus by\nthe Spirit indwelling our lives - the knowledge of Christ conforms us into his\nimage and likeness. But Jesus is the prize, he is the gain. Knowledge of him\nisn\u0026rsquo;t just knowing his name, it\u0026rsquo;s being known by him through communion and\nmeditation. Through daily repentence.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003ch2 id=\"gain\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"heading-wear-glyph\"\u003eGain\u003c/span\u003e \u003ca href=\"#gain\" class=\"heading-anchor\"\u003e#\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI just found myself downcast over this reflection, knowledge of Christ is\nhard\u0026hellip; he chooses whome he chooses, frees whom he frees. In that freedom is\nwhere the comparison can be made. Only in the freedom of Jesus can you remove\nyourself from the line between the 2 green boxes in my picture, and even\nconsider the glory of the knowledge of Christ. Before new life all we know is\nthis:\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cfigure\u003e\n\u003cimg src=\"https://cdn.statically.io/gh/pypeaday/images.pype.dev/main/blog-media/20251014105124_bee8ebbd.png\" alt=\"20251014105124_bee8ebbd.png\"\u003e\n\u003c/figure\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHe chooses\u0026hellip; but then what? For some, loss must follow. In fact, for \u003cstrong\u003eall\u003c/strong\u003e loss\nwill eventually follow. The degree of that loss is not outside his sovereignty.\nPaul says he \u0026ldquo;suffered the loss of all things\u0026rdquo; - in this experience his\nmind is opened to the reality that was hidden from him, the knowledge that\nthere\u0026rsquo;s more but the only thing worth gaining is Jesus.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI hope I don\u0026rsquo;t have to suffer the loss of all things in order to more fully\ngrasp the gravity of my King. But his will be done on earth as it is in heaven,\nwhatever that may mean for my life. And may it be that I gain Christ.\u003c/p\u003e\n", "content_text": "\n!!! note \"Philippians 3:8\"\n\n More than that, I even consider all things to be loss because of the surpassing greatness of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for the sake of whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and consider them dung, in order that I may gain Christ\n\n## Loss\n\nPaul's words are convicting this morning... **I even consider all things to be loss**.\n\n!!! danger \"\"\n\n Do I?\n\nDo I consider anything and everything as closer to **literally nothing** when\ncompared to knowing Jesus? I don't know, this morning I can't even articulate\nwhat it means to consider allthings \"loss\".\n\n![20251014103915_3412470b.png](https://cdn.statically.io/gh/pypeaday/images.pype.dev/main/blog-media/20251014103915_3412470b.png)\n\nWhat a trivial picture but how often is my mind and spirit stuck between the\ngreen boxes... fixated again on my retirement, kid's school costs, the fact\nthat ribeye steak is still $20/lbs. I have anxities like anyone else over\nthings in the world, and if my net worth increased by $3M today what would my\nresponse be... would I consider it a loss when compared to the knowledge of\nJesus Christ? Or would I experience joy and hope for my earthly future...\n\nOf course Paul's note here isn't that we have to just be angry about good\nthings and be sad forever until we're on the other side of a consecrated\nheaven, but I think the point is if my net worth goes up by a lot of down by a\nlot, at the end of the day that's still between the 2 green boxes in my\ndiagram... And my mind needs to focus on Jesus. Not for what he can do for me,\npursuing him in light of my own fancies makes him out to be a Santa Claus, and\nin light of Paul's words to the Philippian church would miss the point\nentirely. There is nothing for us to pursue for gain - that is the point.\n\nThe ultimate gift is the knowledge of Christ. This knowledge changs us - by the\nmolding hand of Yahweh through the mediating power and authority of Jesus by\nthe Spirit indwelling our lives - the knowledge of Christ conforms us into his\nimage and likeness. But Jesus is the prize, he is the gain. Knowledge of him\nisn't just knowing his name, it's being known by him through communion and\nmeditation. Through daily repentence.\n\n## Gain\n\nI just found myself downcast over this reflection, knowledge of Christ is\nhard... he chooses whome he chooses, frees whom he frees. In that freedom is\nwhere the comparison can be made. Only in the freedom of Jesus can you remove\nyourself from the line between the 2 green boxes in my picture, and even\nconsider the glory of the knowledge of Christ. Before new life all we know is\nthis:\n\n![20251014105124_bee8ebbd.png](https://cdn.statically.io/gh/pypeaday/images.pype.dev/main/blog-media/20251014105124_bee8ebbd.png)\n\nHe chooses... but then what? For some, loss must follow. In fact, for **all** loss\nwill eventually follow. The degree of that loss is not outside his sovereignty.\nPaul says he \"suffered the loss of all things\" - in this experience his\nmind is opened to the reality that was hidden from him, the knowledge that\nthere's more but the only thing worth gaining is Jesus.\n\nI hope I don't have to suffer the loss of all things in order to more fully\ngrasp the gravity of my King. But his will be done on earth as it is in heaven,\nwhatever that may mean for my life. And may it be that I gain Christ.\n", "summary": "!!! note \"Philippians 3:8\"", "date_published": "2025-10-14T05:30:47Z", "date_modified": "2025-10-14T05:30:47Z", "authors": [ { "name": "Nic Payne", "url": "https://pype.dev" } ], "tags": [ "reflection", "faith" ] }, { "id": "https://pype.dev/reflection-psalm-119-15/", "url": "https://pype.dev/reflection-psalm-119-15/", "title": "Reflection - Psalm 119:15", "content_html": "\u003cdiv class=\"admonition note\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"admonition-title\"\u003ePsalm 119:15\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI will meditate on your precepts and look at your ways.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003ch2 id=\"meditate\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"heading-wear-glyph\"\u003eMeditate\u003c/span\u003e \u003ca href=\"#meditate\" class=\"heading-anchor\"\u003e#\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSpurgeon had a good thought here\u0026hellip; It is not the act of eating that actually\nnourishes our bodies, it is digestion\u0026hellip; The same is true for our spiritual\ngrowth - merely listening to a sermon will not transform your heart and life,\nthe Word of God must be digested and meditated upon to work in our members and\nchange us.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhat is it to go to church every week but never spend time musing upon the\nthings of God? If you chew your food and spit it out right after the meal what\ngood did it do you? Maybe you felt good during the songs, liked the taste of\nthe food, heard something interesting from the pastor, commented on the decor\nin the dining room\u0026hellip;. but once you leave, do you remember what you ate? Do you\ntalk about it with those who ate with you? Did you practice cooking that\ndelicious meal later in the week?\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSo it is with us and the precepts of the Lord.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe law of God, in light of Jesus, is not a burden any longer. We are free to\nfollow, free to choose good. But knowing good takes time\u0026hellip; a captive isn\u0026rsquo;t\nilluminated to all the ways of the free man who saved him the day his bonds are\ncut, he must study the new civilization he\u0026rsquo;s brought into - out of slavery and\ninto freedom, out of death and into life.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnd in that new life, Jesus - the embodiment of the law and the perfector of\nour faith changes us, molds us, teaches us about good and bad. His word is\nsweet and good.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"admonition note\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"admonition-title\"\u003ePhilippians 4:8\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFinally, brothers, whatever things are true, whatever things are honorable, whatever things are right, whatever things are pure, whatever things are pleasing, whatever things are commendable, if there is any excellence of character and if anything praiseworthy, think about these things.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003ch2 id=\"think-about-these-things\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"heading-wear-glyph\"\u003eThink about these things\u003c/span\u003e \u003ca href=\"#think-about-these-things\" class=\"heading-anchor\"\u003e#\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe instruction from Paul is almost too simple\u0026hellip; \u0026ldquo;just think about these\nthings\u0026rdquo;. By God\u0026rsquo;s grace I think a lot\u0026hellip; \u003cstrong\u003ea lot\u003c/strong\u003e. My thoughts are often hard\nto take hold of, and I\u0026rsquo;m led rather than leading in what I put my attention\nto, but also by God\u0026rsquo;s grace I fixate on the things of God often. This has not\nalways been, and is not always fun or exciting or without pain.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBut we are all gifted by God in different ways, and afflicted in different ways.\nAn affliction he\u0026rsquo;s permitted in my life is often a blessing to me as my mind\nsometimes can\u0026rsquo;t let go of things that are pure and pleasing and commendable.\nThe overall thing that\u0026rsquo;s on my mind every day is the freedom Jesus offers to\nchoose good. The choice can only be made by the power of his resurrection, not\nby any moral teaching to be gleaned from his sermons as though he\u0026rsquo;s nothing\nmore than a philosopher.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"admonition success\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"admonition-title\"\u003eSuccess\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHe raised me to life, I didn\u0026rsquo;t attend a lecture.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBut what could be sweeter today in our finite lives, than the ability and\nfreedom to participate in bringing heaven to earth?\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWe have no means to do this though without meditating on the Lord\u0026rsquo;s precepts\u0026hellip;\nHow else can we know what is pleasing to heaven?\u003c/p\u003e\n", "content_text": "\n!!! note \"Psalm 119:15\"\n\n I will meditate on your precepts and look at your ways.\n\n## Meditate\n\nSpurgeon had a good thought here... It is not the act of eating that actually\nnourishes our bodies, it is digestion... The same is true for our spiritual\ngrowth - merely listening to a sermon will not transform your heart and life,\nthe Word of God must be digested and meditated upon to work in our members and\nchange us.\n\nWhat is it to go to church every week but never spend time musing upon the\nthings of God? If you chew your food and spit it out right after the meal what\ngood did it do you? Maybe you felt good during the songs, liked the taste of\nthe food, heard something interesting from the pastor, commented on the decor\nin the dining room.... but once you leave, do you remember what you ate? Do you\ntalk about it with those who ate with you? Did you practice cooking that\ndelicious meal later in the week?\n\nSo it is with us and the precepts of the Lord.\n\nThe law of God, in light of Jesus, is not a burden any longer. We are free to\nfollow, free to choose good. But knowing good takes time... a captive isn't\nilluminated to all the ways of the free man who saved him the day his bonds are\ncut, he must study the new civilization he's brought into - out of slavery and\ninto freedom, out of death and into life.\n\nAnd in that new life, Jesus - the embodiment of the law and the perfector of\nour faith changes us, molds us, teaches us about good and bad. His word is\nsweet and good.\n\n!!! note \"Philippians 4:8\"\n\n Finally, brothers, whatever things are true, whatever things are honorable, whatever things are right, whatever things are pure, whatever things are pleasing, whatever things are commendable, if there is any excellence of character and if anything praiseworthy, think about these things.\n\n## Think about these things\n\nThe instruction from Paul is almost too simple... \"just think about these\nthings\". By God's grace I think a lot... **a lot**. My thoughts are often hard\nto take hold of, and I'm led rather than leading in what I put my attention\nto, but also by God's grace I fixate on the things of God often. This has not\nalways been, and is not always fun or exciting or without pain.\n\nBut we are all gifted by God in different ways, and afflicted in different ways.\nAn affliction he's permitted in my life is often a blessing to me as my mind\nsometimes can't let go of things that are pure and pleasing and commendable.\nThe overall thing that's on my mind every day is the freedom Jesus offers to\nchoose good. The choice can only be made by the power of his resurrection, not\nby any moral teaching to be gleaned from his sermons as though he's nothing\nmore than a philosopher.\n\n!!! success \"\"\n\n He raised me to life, I didn't attend a lecture.\n\nBut what could be sweeter today in our finite lives, than the ability and\nfreedom to participate in bringing heaven to earth?\n\nWe have no means to do this though without meditating on the Lord's precepts...\nHow else can we know what is pleasing to heaven?\n", "summary": "!!! note \"Psalm 119:15\"", "date_published": "2025-10-12T05:59:30Z", "date_modified": "2025-10-12T05:59:30Z", "authors": [ { "name": "Nic Payne", "url": "https://pype.dev" } ], "tags": [ "reflection", "faith" ] }, { "id": "https://pype.dev/reflection-jude-24/", "url": "https://pype.dev/reflection-jude-24/", "title": "Reflection - Jude 24", "content_html": "\u003cdiv class=\"admonition note\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"admonition-title\"\u003eJude 24-25\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e24 Now to the one who is able to protect you from stumbling and make you to stand before his glory blameless with exultation, 25 to the only God our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, power, and authority before all time and now and for all eternity. Amen.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003ch2 id=\"make-you-to-stand-before-his-glory-blameless-with-exultation\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"heading-wear-glyph\"\u003emake you to stand before his glory blameless with exultation\u003c/span\u003e \u003ca href=\"#make-you-to-stand-before-his-glory-blameless-with-exultation\" class=\"heading-anchor\"\u003e#\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe ultimate hope of the one called to Jesus - to be made blameless.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThose who are blameless are those who are free. When we are in debt we are\nlimited - this feels like a pretty natural thing. I owe money on my house, so\nthere\u0026rsquo;s about $1000/mo that I have to put towards that, no options. Worse than\na necessity (cause a place to live is a foundational need for humans) is\nunnecessary debt - debt for free choices.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"admonition danger\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"admonition-title\"\u003epay as you go\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHave you seen these pay-as-you-go services? Affirm and Klarna, etc\u0026hellip;. You can finance (go into debt) your door dash orders, uber rides, amazon cart all usually with just a few clicks! They want you poor. Jesus doesn\u0026rsquo;t exactly want you rich with earthly wealth, but we make ourselves spiritually poor in the same manner and it\u0026rsquo;s that poverty that he saves us from.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSo on one hand I\u0026rsquo;m \u0026ldquo;born a sinner\u0026rdquo; (take this as my mortgage) and on the other\nhand I make choices that dishonor my Lord - my heart gets worrisome or filled\nwith lust, I abandon my faith for anxiety over my future\u0026hellip; In this reflection\nI\u0026rsquo;m not debating \u003ca href=\"/original-sin/\" class=\"wikilink\" data-title=\"Original Sin\" data-description=\"The doctrine (**) basically answers this question:\" data-date=\"2025-10-10\" data-preview=\"The doctrine (**) basically answers this question:\"\u003eOriginal Sin\u003c/a\u003e, for me today it\u0026rsquo;s moot\u0026hellip; I do sin, I will\nsin, and Jesus has saved me yesterday, today, and tomorrow. So the hope is a\nblessed gift from Jesus - that I will be \u003cstrong\u003emade to stand before him blameless\nwith exultation\u003c/strong\u003e.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eTo stand before the face of God is perhaps the most terrifying thing\nimaginable, or it should be for anyone in a wretched state. Ultimate goodness\nhas a way of making anyone \u003cstrong\u003eless\u003c/strong\u003e very uncomfortable. We even have a taste of\nthis truth on earth - consider this example. If you were at the gym or\nsomewhere having a conversation with someone who was a pastor and you let a\ncurse word fly, often people\u0026rsquo;s follow-up is to apologize to the pastor\u0026hellip; why?\nMy personal conviction is that cuss-words are just words, and most pastors\naren\u0026rsquo;t offended by them. But we all generally recognize pastors as \u0026ldquo;good men\u0026rdquo;\n(not all, mind you - don\u0026rsquo;t come at me with horror stories of abuse in the Church,\nI know it\u0026rsquo;s there, I hate it too, and those demons aren\u0026rsquo;t who I\u0026rsquo;m talking\nabout). So when we are face to face with \u0026ldquo;goodness\u0026rdquo; we recognize that some\nbehavior isn\u0026rsquo;t appropriate, if only for a second. So we apologize\u0026hellip; But a\npastor is just a man - to come face to face with the Lord Almighty, the very\ndefiner of Good, should horrify anyone not perfectly good themselves. A\nscary thing to have anything bad in me present before the Judge of the\nuniverse.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnd yet \u003cstrong\u003eto the one who is able to protect you from stumbling and make you to\nstand before his glory blameless with exultation\u003c/strong\u003e\u0026hellip; Who is Jesus? The one who\nmakes me blameless. To be blameless is to be able to come face to face with\ngoodness. This is my hope, that in Christ alone for his glory and sake alone,\nam I made new and blameless.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003ch2 id=\"but-hope-isn-t-only-in-the-future\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"heading-wear-glyph\"\u003eBut hope isn’t only in the future\u003c/span\u003e \u003ca href=\"#but-hope-isn-t-only-in-the-future\" class=\"heading-anchor\"\u003e#\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis ultimate hope isn\u0026rsquo;t the only hope though, it\u0026rsquo;s not the only thing Jesus\ndoes\u0026hellip; He saves us from more than just hell, and for more than just an\nethereal idea of goodness. He saves me to be free to choose goodness today as\nhe works in me to align my will with his\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"admonition note\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"admonition-title\"\u003eHebrews 13:20-21\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e20 Now may the God of peace, who brought up from the dead our Lord Jesus, the great shepherd of the sheep, by the blood of the eternal covenant, 21 equip you with every good thing to do his will, carrying out in us what is pleasing before him through Jesus Christ, to whom be the glory forever. Amen.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eJesus left us a helper, the Holy Spirit. This person is the conduit through\nwhich Yahweh works in us to \u003cstrong\u003eequip {me} with every good thing to do his will,\ncarrying out in {me} what is pleasing before him\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHope is for tomorrow, but it\u0026rsquo;s also for today. Jesus makes us free \u003cstrong\u003etoday\u003c/strong\u003e as\nnew creatures (2 Corinthians 5:17) to align with his will. You can\u0026rsquo;t choose him\nuntil he frees you to make the choice, and then in that freedom what else can\nyou do? Say \u0026ldquo;no thanks\u0026rdquo;\u0026hellip; lol. His call is the mighty arm of Yahweh reaching\ninto the ocean of chaos and death to raise the corpse of your soul to new life,\nto breath air for the first time, to walk on God\u0026rsquo;s green earth with new feet\nand new purpose.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePraise the freaking Lord for salvation - for tomorrow and today. May my choices\ntoday reflect the goodness of my King, and if you\u0026rsquo;re reading this reflection,\nmay God bless you with this blessed hope of salvation.\u003c/p\u003e\n", "content_text": "\n!!! note \"Jude 24-25\"\n\n 24 Now to the one who is able to protect you from stumbling and make you to stand before his glory blameless with exultation, 25 to the only God our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, power, and authority before all time and now and for all eternity. Amen.\n\n## make you to stand before his glory blameless with exultation\n\nThe ultimate hope of the one called to Jesus - to be made blameless.\n\nThose who are blameless are those who are free. When we are in debt we are\nlimited - this feels like a pretty natural thing. I owe money on my house, so\nthere's about $1000/mo that I have to put towards that, no options. Worse than\na necessity (cause a place to live is a foundational need for humans) is\nunnecessary debt - debt for free choices.\n\n!!! danger \"pay as you go\"\n\n Have you seen these pay-as-you-go services? Affirm and Klarna, etc.... You can finance (go into debt) your door dash orders, uber rides, amazon cart all usually with just a few clicks! They want you poor. Jesus doesn't exactly want you rich with earthly wealth, but we make ourselves spiritually poor in the same manner and it's that poverty that he saves us from.\n\nSo on one hand I'm \"born a sinner\" (take this as my mortgage) and on the other\nhand I make choices that dishonor my Lord - my heart gets worrisome or filled\nwith lust, I abandon my faith for anxiety over my future... In this reflection\nI'm not debating \u003ca href=\"/original-sin/\" class=\"wikilink\" data-title=\"Original Sin\" data-description=\"The doctrine (**) basically answers this question:\" data-date=\"2025-10-10\"\u003eOriginal Sin\u003c/a\u003e, for me today it's moot... I do sin, I will\nsin, and Jesus has saved me yesterday, today, and tomorrow. So the hope is a\nblessed gift from Jesus - that I will be **made to stand before him blameless\nwith exultation**.\n\nTo stand before the face of God is perhaps the most terrifying thing\nimaginable, or it should be for anyone in a wretched state. Ultimate goodness\nhas a way of making anyone **less** very uncomfortable. We even have a taste of\nthis truth on earth - consider this example. If you were at the gym or\nsomewhere having a conversation with someone who was a pastor and you let a\ncurse word fly, often people's follow-up is to apologize to the pastor... why?\nMy personal conviction is that cuss-words are just words, and most pastors\naren't offended by them. But we all generally recognize pastors as \"good men\"\n(not all, mind you - don't come at me with horror stories of abuse in the Church,\nI know it's there, I hate it too, and those demons aren't who I'm talking\nabout). So when we are face to face with \"goodness\" we recognize that some\nbehavior isn't appropriate, if only for a second. So we apologize... But a\npastor is just a man - to come face to face with the Lord Almighty, the very\ndefiner of Good, should horrify anyone not perfectly good themselves. A\nscary thing to have anything bad in me present before the Judge of the\nuniverse.\n\nAnd yet **to the one who is able to protect you from stumbling and make you to\nstand before his glory blameless with exultation**... Who is Jesus? The one who\nmakes me blameless. To be blameless is to be able to come face to face with\ngoodness. This is my hope, that in Christ alone for his glory and sake alone,\nam I made new and blameless.\n\n## But hope isn't only in the future\n\nThis ultimate hope isn't the only hope though, it's not the only thing Jesus\ndoes... He saves us from more than just hell, and for more than just an\nethereal idea of goodness. He saves me to be free to choose goodness today as\nhe works in me to align my will with his\n\n!!! note \"Hebrews 13:20-21\"\n\n 20 Now may the God of peace, who brought up from the dead our Lord Jesus, the great shepherd of the sheep, by the blood of the eternal covenant, 21 equip you with every good thing to do his will, carrying out in us what is pleasing before him through Jesus Christ, to whom be the glory forever. Amen.\n\nJesus left us a helper, the Holy Spirit. This person is the conduit through\nwhich Yahweh works in us to **equip {me} with every good thing to do his will,\ncarrying out in {me} what is pleasing before him**\n\nHope is for tomorrow, but it's also for today. Jesus makes us free **today** as\nnew creatures (2 Corinthians 5:17) to align with his will. You can't choose him\nuntil he frees you to make the choice, and then in that freedom what else can\nyou do? Say \"no thanks\"... lol. His call is the mighty arm of Yahweh reaching\ninto the ocean of chaos and death to raise the corpse of your soul to new life,\nto breath air for the first time, to walk on God's green earth with new feet\nand new purpose.\n\nPraise the freaking Lord for salvation - for tomorrow and today. May my choices\ntoday reflect the goodness of my King, and if you're reading this reflection,\nmay God bless you with this blessed hope of salvation.\n", "summary": "!!! note \"Jude 24-25\"", "date_published": "2025-10-10T05:52:12Z", "date_modified": "2025-10-10T05:52:12Z", "authors": [ { "name": "Nic Payne", "url": "https://pype.dev" } ], "tags": [ "reflection", "faith" ] }, { "id": "https://pype.dev/reflection-numbers-11-11/", "url": "https://pype.dev/reflection-numbers-11-11/", "title": "Reflection - Numbers 11:11", "content_html": "\u003cp\u003eAs if the Lord orchestrated Spurgeon\u0026rsquo;s meditation to give me a spring board to what I need for the third day in a row\u0026hellip;\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href=\"/reflection-1-kings-19-8/\" class=\"wikilink\" data-title=\"Reflection - 1 Kings 19:8\" data-description=\"Spurgeon picked 1 Kings 19:8 this morning and his meditation was encouraging at a meta-level. Highlighting to me that we (Christians) in maturity can be...\" data-date=\"2025-10-05\" data-preview=\"Spurgeon picked 1 Kings 19:8 this morning and his meditation was encouraging at a meta-level. Highlighting to me that we (Christians) in maturity can be...\"\u003eReflection - 1 Kings 19:8\u003c/a\u003e He showed me that he sustains me unto his own service and glory\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href=\"/reflection-john-4-14/\" class=\"wikilink\" data-title=\"Reflection - John 4:14\" data-description=\"Today Spurgeon\u0026#39;s \u0026#34;Morning and Evening\u0026#34; was on John 4:14\" data-date=\"2025-10-06\" data-preview=\"Today Spurgeon\u0026#39;s \u0026#34;Morning and Evening\u0026#34; was on John 4:14\"\u003eReflection - John 4:14\u003c/a\u003e He showed me that I\u0026rsquo;ve been pushing away aspects of his provision\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003c/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnd today I see the trials in my life reveal the status of my faith\u0026hellip; Last\nnight I got a phone call that I missed a credit card payment, which I thought\nodd since everything is on auto-pay. Well, turns out our checking account got a\nsmidge low, low enough that the credit card payment was cancelled\u0026hellip; In reality\nthis isn\u0026rsquo;t a huge deal, but it threw me off and continues to this morning. The\ntruth is, the only issue is my lack of in-depth understanding of our money\nmovement. Our lifestyle and living expenses are well below what we can\notherwise afford, but in my laziness I have mostly neglected each of our\naccounts individually. No doubt this \u0026ldquo;trial\u0026rdquo; is self-imposed but Spurgeon\u0026rsquo;s\nmeditation is snapping me out of the funk that threw me into last night\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"admonition success\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"admonition-title\"\u003efearless faith\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf our faith be worth anything, it will stand the test. Gilt is afraid of fire, but gold is not: the paste gem dreads to be touched by the diamond, but the true jewel fears no test\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe text is \u003ca href=\"https://biblehub.com/numbers/11-11.htm\"\u003eNumbers 11:11\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"admonition note\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"admonition-title\"\u003eNumbers 11:11\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnd Moses said to Yahweh, “Why have you brought trouble to your servant? Why have I not found favor in your eyes, that the burdens of all these people have been placed on me?\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe meditation came from \u0026ldquo;Why have you brought trouble to your servant?\u0026rdquo;\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cdetails class=\"admonition warning\"\u003e\n\u003csummary class=\"admonition-title\"\u003eMeditation vs Homily\u003c/summary\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMy reflections over the summer have following the pattern of finding a scripture reference from Morning and Evening and then simply asking God to speak through the words of the text and Spurgeon\u0026rsquo;s meditation. Historically I would study the text, but in the season of life I am in, where I do have years of studious foundation, I am trying to exercise trust in God to speak to me in ways outside of connecting theological knowledge dots that construct a mosaic of my own choosing. Instead I\u0026rsquo;m trying to just trust his sovereignty - he brought me to Morning and Evening on October 7, 2025 perhaps so that I could be encouraged in my faith in light of this missed credit card payment event/trial. These reflections are not meant to be educational on the Bible, or even on theology necessarily - I am practicing opening my mind and heart to God speaking to me in ways otherwise uncomfortable but with prudence as I\u0026rsquo;m not approaching these texts in ignorance. As I put these reflections into the world I want to be clear these are personal meditations, not Bible lessons\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/details\u003e\n\u003ch2 id=\"reflection\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"heading-wear-glyph\"\u003eReflection\u003c/span\u003e \u003ca href=\"#reflection\" class=\"heading-anchor\"\u003e#\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOur heavenly Father sends us frequent troubles to try our faith\u0026hellip; Are the\nsource of those trials my own choices? Other\u0026rsquo;s choices? Some meta-truth about the\nfallenness of creation? I think probably it\u0026rsquo;s all of that\u0026hellip; In reality, it doesn\u0026rsquo;t\nmatter \u003cstrong\u003ewhere\u003c/strong\u003e the trial comes from - directly from the heavens above or\noriginating in our own mistakes (such as mine of note above). There is almost\ncertainly some significance in the source but \u003cstrong\u003eultimately God\nis sovereign over every one of those possibilities\u003c/strong\u003e, and so in another sense,\nit\u0026rsquo;s almost insignificant what I consider the \u0026ldquo;source\u0026rdquo; of a trial. The real\nissue is how I respond to it.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eLast night I was filled in my physical chest with a feeling of dread\u0026hellip; Seeing\nmy checking account low revealed that I have more digging to do to uncover any\ninternal reliance on my own systems of security (like money). And the dumb part\ndear reader, is we have other accounts and plenty of money\u0026hellip; I am in zero\nfinancial strain, but even so - seeing the number too low to make one of the\npayments sent my head into a whirlwind. God has also already provided a way out\nof this trial\u0026hellip; I have budgeting software that I\u0026rsquo;ve been using for a long time\nand am just not on top of. He gave me the software I use and the ability to use\nit but it\u0026rsquo;s my own lack of diligence that I think led to this \u0026ldquo;trial\u0026rdquo;. And yet,\nwith all that knowledge I find that I\u0026rsquo;m still troubled\u0026hellip; I think I have a\nstrong faith and one of my most common prayer is \u0026ldquo;Lord help my unbelief\u0026rdquo;, and\napparently today I need to shout this to the heavens. How \u003cstrong\u003edare\u003c/strong\u003e I allow\ndread to overcome me when I claim to know my God provides.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnd in that I know he is still sweet to me. I\u0026rsquo;m a father, and when my kids make\na mess of themselves my first response (often, though I\u0026rsquo;m not perfect) to them\nis to kneel and say \u0026ldquo;hey I\u0026rsquo;m here, you\u0026rsquo;re safe\u0026rdquo;. The trial they make for\nthemselves may fill them with the dread I filled myself with last night in\nmissing that credit card payment\u0026hellip;. If I will approach my kids joyfully in\ntheir own mess, and if I write all these pages about God\u0026rsquo;s love for me and his\npeople, then ought I not adopt the mindset towrads God that I want my\ndaughter\u0026rsquo;s to have when I come to save them?\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eGod approaches me knowing that missing a credit card payment\nis hardly a bigger deal than my 4 year old spilling milk on the table. But my\nworld can become small just like their worlds are small and then my issues can\nfeel big. I need my heavenly father to kneel next to me and say \u0026ldquo;hey I\u0026rsquo;m here,\nyou\u0026rsquo;re safe\u0026rdquo;. I say I need it, but actually I mean to say that I have it, and\nbecause I have it is the only reason I can in-turn treat my daughter\u0026rsquo;s this way\nwhen their problems fill their little worlds.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePraise God for trials certainly, for what they reveal and for the Gospel truth\nthat by the calling of Jesus our faith can be made pure and complete.\u003c/p\u003e\n", "content_text": "\nAs if the Lord orchestrated Spurgeon's meditation to give me a spring board to what I need for the third day in a row...\n\n- \u003ca href=\"/reflection-1-kings-19-8/\" class=\"wikilink\" data-title=\"Reflection - 1 Kings 19:8\" data-description=\"Spurgeon picked 1 Kings 19:8 this morning and his meditation was encouraging at a meta-level. Highlighting to me that we (Christians) in maturity can be...\" data-date=\"2025-10-05\"\u003eReflection - 1 Kings 19:8\u003c/a\u003e He showed me that he sustains me unto his own service and glory\n- \u003ca href=\"/reflection-john-4-14/\" class=\"wikilink\" data-title=\"Reflection - John 4:14\" data-description=\"Today Spurgeon\u0026#39;s \u0026#34;Morning and Evening\u0026#34; was on John 4:14\" data-date=\"2025-10-06\"\u003eReflection - John 4:14\u003c/a\u003e He showed me that I've been pushing away aspects of his provision\n\nAnd today I see the trials in my life reveal the status of my faith... Last\nnight I got a phone call that I missed a credit card payment, which I thought\nodd since everything is on auto-pay. Well, turns out our checking account got a\nsmidge low, low enough that the credit card payment was cancelled... In reality\nthis isn't a huge deal, but it threw me off and continues to this morning. The\ntruth is, the only issue is my lack of in-depth understanding of our money\nmovement. Our lifestyle and living expenses are well below what we can\notherwise afford, but in my laziness I have mostly neglected each of our\naccounts individually. No doubt this \"trial\" is self-imposed but Spurgeon's\nmeditation is snapping me out of the funk that threw me into last night\n\n!!! success \"fearless faith\"\n\n If our faith be worth anything, it will stand the test. Gilt is afraid of fire, but gold is not: the paste gem dreads to be touched by the diamond, but the true jewel fears no test\n\nThe text is [Numbers 11:11](https://biblehub.com/numbers/11-11.htm)\n\n!!! note \"Numbers 11:11\"\n\n And Moses said to Yahweh, “Why have you brought trouble to your servant? Why have I not found favor in your eyes, that the burdens of all these people have been placed on me?\n\nThe meditation came from \"Why have you brought trouble to your servant?\"\n\n??? warning \"Meditation vs Homily\"\n\n My reflections over the summer have following the pattern of finding a scripture reference from Morning and Evening and then simply asking God to speak through the words of the text and Spurgeon's meditation. Historically I would study the text, but in the season of life I am in, where I do have years of studious foundation, I am trying to exercise trust in God to speak to me in ways outside of connecting theological knowledge dots that construct a mosaic of my own choosing. Instead I'm trying to just trust his sovereignty - he brought me to Morning and Evening on October 7, 2025 perhaps so that I could be encouraged in my faith in light of this missed credit card payment event/trial. These reflections are not meant to be educational on the Bible, or even on theology necessarily - I am practicing opening my mind and heart to God speaking to me in ways otherwise uncomfortable but with prudence as I'm not approaching these texts in ignorance. As I put these reflections into the world I want to be clear these are personal meditations, not Bible lessons\n\n## Reflection\n\nOur heavenly Father sends us frequent troubles to try our faith... Are the\nsource of those trials my own choices? Other's choices? Some meta-truth about the\nfallenness of creation? I think probably it's all of that... In reality, it doesn't\nmatter **where** the trial comes from - directly from the heavens above or\noriginating in our own mistakes (such as mine of note above). There is almost\ncertainly some significance in the source but **ultimately God\nis sovereign over every one of those possibilities**, and so in another sense,\nit's almost insignificant what I consider the \"source\" of a trial. The real\nissue is how I respond to it.\n\nLast night I was filled in my physical chest with a feeling of dread... Seeing\nmy checking account low revealed that I have more digging to do to uncover any\ninternal reliance on my own systems of security (like money). And the dumb part\ndear reader, is we have other accounts and plenty of money... I am in zero\nfinancial strain, but even so - seeing the number too low to make one of the\npayments sent my head into a whirlwind. God has also already provided a way out\nof this trial... I have budgeting software that I've been using for a long time\nand am just not on top of. He gave me the software I use and the ability to use\nit but it's my own lack of diligence that I think led to this \"trial\". And yet,\nwith all that knowledge I find that I'm still troubled... I think I have a\nstrong faith and one of my most common prayer is \"Lord help my unbelief\", and\napparently today I need to shout this to the heavens. How **dare** I allow\ndread to overcome me when I claim to know my God provides.\n\nAnd in that I know he is still sweet to me. I'm a father, and when my kids make\na mess of themselves my first response (often, though I'm not perfect) to them\nis to kneel and say \"hey I'm here, you're safe\". The trial they make for\nthemselves may fill them with the dread I filled myself with last night in\nmissing that credit card payment.... If I will approach my kids joyfully in\ntheir own mess, and if I write all these pages about God's love for me and his\npeople, then ought I not adopt the mindset towrads God that I want my\ndaughter's to have when I come to save them?\n\nGod approaches me knowing that missing a credit card payment\nis hardly a bigger deal than my 4 year old spilling milk on the table. But my\nworld can become small just like their worlds are small and then my issues can\nfeel big. I need my heavenly father to kneel next to me and say \"hey I'm here,\nyou're safe\". I say I need it, but actually I mean to say that I have it, and\nbecause I have it is the only reason I can in-turn treat my daughter's this way\nwhen their problems fill their little worlds.\n\nPraise God for trials certainly, for what they reveal and for the Gospel truth\nthat by the calling of Jesus our faith can be made pure and complete.\n", "summary": "As if the Lord orchestrated Spurgeon's meditation to give me a spring board to what I need for the third day in a row...", "date_published": "2025-10-07T05:07:19Z", "date_modified": "2025-10-07T05:07:19Z", "authors": [ { "name": "Nic Payne", "url": "https://pype.dev" } ], "tags": [ "reflection", "faith" ] }, { "id": "https://pype.dev/reflection-john-4-14/", "url": "https://pype.dev/reflection-john-4-14/", "title": "Reflection - John 4:14", "content_html": "\u003cp\u003eToday Spurgeon\u0026rsquo;s \u0026ldquo;Morning and Evening\u0026rdquo; was on John 4:14\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"admonition note\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"admonition-title\"\u003eJohn 4:14\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBut whoever drinks of this water which I will give to him will never be thirsty for eternity, but the water which I will give to him will become in him a well of water springing up to eternal life.”\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBeing autistic and growing up in the Church led to a few acute pain points for\nme growing up. A commonplace issue for me was when theological truths were\nexpressed in absolute terms but didn\u0026rsquo;t \u0026ldquo;feel absolutely true\u0026rdquo; for me. I made a\npractice of trying to force myself to just \u0026ldquo;be ok\u0026rdquo; in light of the truth.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"admonition warning\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"admonition-title\"\u003eA Memory\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMarissa was one of my best friends in high school - we spent a lot of time together in church, school, extra-curriculars, etc. She was an ever-present friend to me even when I was difficult to love. I recall multiple times, and one vivid memory for sure where I wasn\u0026rsquo;t doing well and she inquired. But my response was \u0026ldquo;I have Jesus, so I have to be OK\u0026rdquo;. I tried to filter my immediate acute pain through the lens of eternal glory. And yes, Paul muses in this fashion as well, but Paul wasn\u0026rsquo;t a 16 year old undiagnosed autistic\u0026hellip; Was everythign going to be alright in the end when I was 16? Oh ya, but was everything all right then? No\u0026hellip; Marissa was a great friend, and Jesus has been sweet to me in this struggle, but nonetheless it would\u0026rsquo;ve been awesome if someone recognized the pain I was in with the wisdom to address me back then.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eToday, one of those truths comes up but it is not painful - \u003cstrong\u003eit is so relieving\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003ch2 id=\"the-heart-is-as-insatiable-as-the-grave-until-jesus-enters-it\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"heading-wear-glyph\"\u003eThe heart is as insatiable as the grave until Jesus enters it\u003c/span\u003e \u003ca href=\"#the-heart-is-as-insatiable-as-the-grave-until-jesus-enters-it\" class=\"heading-anchor\"\u003e#\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYesterday God brought me a truth that he sustains me unto his own service -\n\u003ca href=\"/reflection-1-kings-19-8/\" class=\"wikilink\" data-title=\"Reflection - 1 Kings 19:8\" data-description=\"Spurgeon picked 1 Kings 19:8 this morning and his meditation was encouraging at a meta-level. Highlighting to me that we (Christians) in maturity can be...\" data-date=\"2025-10-05\" data-preview=\"Spurgeon picked 1 Kings 19:8 this morning and his meditation was encouraging at a meta-level. Highlighting to me that we (Christians) in maturity can be...\"\u003eReflection - 1 Kings 19:8\u003c/a\u003e. And today I\u0026rsquo;m reminded that on his sustenance I\nwill \u0026ldquo;never thirst\u0026rdquo;. But of course this isn\u0026rsquo;t a plain and simple truth. I\nthirst for grace more and more every day, but what I\u0026rsquo;m finding in the season of\nending Summer 2025, post/present-multiple years of political awareness, and\nnear-hatred for my financial reliance on some other guy\u0026rsquo;s company that my heart\n\u003cstrong\u003ewants\u003c/strong\u003e for much right now, but even \u003cstrong\u003ein that wanting\u003c/strong\u003e this truth rests\nsoftly on me that Jesus is and ought to be enough. I can be resistant to this\nout of fear of losing a drive to provide more and more for my family.\nContentedness is certainly a gift from God, but as I\u0026rsquo;ve been reflecting I see\nfear in my heart\u0026hellip; As I\u0026rsquo;ve rejected the truth that \u0026ldquo;Jesus is \u003cstrong\u003eenough\u003c/strong\u003e\u0026rdquo; my\nheart longs for satisfaction, and when I get in my own way then fear and sin\ncreep in.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor me and my reflection right now the competing ideas are building financial\nwealth for myself and my family out of a desire for freedom from a system that\nI don\u0026rsquo;t like, but also\u0026hellip; isn\u0026rsquo;t Jesus enough? My heart is in the same cunundrum\nas I was in at 16 when asked \u0026ldquo;are you OK?\u0026rdquo;. But with wisdom, experince, and\nperspective I guess the tension isn\u0026rsquo;t uncomfortable anymore (not that I\u0026rsquo;m\nliving in the tension perfectly). There\u0026rsquo;s work for Jesus to do on my heart, and\nyet I know the work he has done and that proves his faithfulness to me to not\nleave me unfinished.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAs he works on me, I have day-to-day choices to make.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003col\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWhom will I serve?\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWhat will fill my heart?\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWill what I fill it with satisfy or like a glass of salt-water at sea leave me worse-off in the end?\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003c/ol\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eJesus has been good to me in ushering my heart through truths like this where\nthere\u0026rsquo;s an \u0026ldquo;already but not yet\u0026rdquo; element to them. Jesus fully satisfies my\nheart, this is true. It\u0026rsquo;s also true that I\u0026rsquo;m still a sinner. I don\u0026rsquo;t feel like\nI always only thirst for more of my Lord - today I thirst for a larger\nretirement account and assets to financially support me for the next 20\nyears\u0026hellip; is this wrong? I don\u0026rsquo;t think so, not with appropriate perspective. And\nI\u0026rsquo;ve been feeling more and more in the last few weeks that Jesus is restoring\nme unto a new season of service and work. I don\u0026rsquo;t know what it\u0026rsquo;ll look like and\naccepting a murky future feels scary, but in the light of the Son - by whose\ngrace my lungs fill with air as I type - I can walk and work with plans that\nchange knowing my faithful God satisfies.\u003c/p\u003e\n", "content_text": "\nToday Spurgeon's \"Morning and Evening\" was on John 4:14\n\n!!! note \"John 4:14\"\n\n But whoever drinks of this water which I will give to him will never be thirsty for eternity, but the water which I will give to him will become in him a well of water springing up to eternal life.”\n\nBeing autistic and growing up in the Church led to a few acute pain points for\nme growing up. A commonplace issue for me was when theological truths were\nexpressed in absolute terms but didn't \"feel absolutely true\" for me. I made a\npractice of trying to force myself to just \"be ok\" in light of the truth.\n\n!!! warning \"A Memory\"\n\n Marissa was one of my best friends in high school - we spent a lot of time together in church, school, extra-curriculars, etc. She was an ever-present friend to me even when I was difficult to love. I recall multiple times, and one vivid memory for sure where I wasn't doing well and she inquired. But my response was \"I have Jesus, so I have to be OK\". I tried to filter my immediate acute pain through the lens of eternal glory. And yes, Paul muses in this fashion as well, but Paul wasn't a 16 year old undiagnosed autistic... Was everythign going to be alright in the end when I was 16? Oh ya, but was everything all right then? No... Marissa was a great friend, and Jesus has been sweet to me in this struggle, but nonetheless it would've been awesome if someone recognized the pain I was in with the wisdom to address me back then.\n\nToday, one of those truths comes up but it is not painful - **it is so relieving**\n\n## The heart is as insatiable as the grave until Jesus enters it\n\nYesterday God brought me a truth that he sustains me unto his own service -\n\u003ca href=\"/reflection-1-kings-19-8/\" class=\"wikilink\" data-title=\"Reflection - 1 Kings 19:8\" data-description=\"Spurgeon picked 1 Kings 19:8 this morning and his meditation was encouraging at a meta-level. Highlighting to me that we (Christians) in maturity can be...\" data-date=\"2025-10-05\"\u003eReflection - 1 Kings 19:8\u003c/a\u003e. And today I'm reminded that on his sustenance I\nwill \"never thirst\". But of course this isn't a plain and simple truth. I\nthirst for grace more and more every day, but what I'm finding in the season of\nending Summer 2025, post/present-multiple years of political awareness, and\nnear-hatred for my financial reliance on some other guy's company that my heart\n**wants** for much right now, but even **in that wanting** this truth rests\nsoftly on me that Jesus is and ought to be enough. I can be resistant to this\nout of fear of losing a drive to provide more and more for my family.\nContentedness is certainly a gift from God, but as I've been reflecting I see\nfear in my heart... As I've rejected the truth that \"Jesus is **enough**\" my\nheart longs for satisfaction, and when I get in my own way then fear and sin\ncreep in.\n\nFor me and my reflection right now the competing ideas are building financial\nwealth for myself and my family out of a desire for freedom from a system that\nI don't like, but also... isn't Jesus enough? My heart is in the same cunundrum\nas I was in at 16 when asked \"are you OK?\". But with wisdom, experince, and\nperspective I guess the tension isn't uncomfortable anymore (not that I'm\nliving in the tension perfectly). There's work for Jesus to do on my heart, and\nyet I know the work he has done and that proves his faithfulness to me to not\nleave me unfinished.\n\nAs he works on me, I have day-to-day choices to make.\n\n1. Whom will I serve?\n2. What will fill my heart?\n3. Will what I fill it with satisfy or like a glass of salt-water at sea leave me worse-off in the end?\n\nJesus has been good to me in ushering my heart through truths like this where\nthere's an \"already but not yet\" element to them. Jesus fully satisfies my\nheart, this is true. It's also true that I'm still a sinner. I don't feel like\nI always only thirst for more of my Lord - today I thirst for a larger\nretirement account and assets to financially support me for the next 20\nyears... is this wrong? I don't think so, not with appropriate perspective. And\nI've been feeling more and more in the last few weeks that Jesus is restoring\nme unto a new season of service and work. I don't know what it'll look like and\naccepting a murky future feels scary, but in the light of the Son - by whose\ngrace my lungs fill with air as I type - I can walk and work with plans that\nchange knowing my faithful God satisfies.\n", "summary": "Today Spurgeon's \"Morning and Evening\" was on John 4:14", "date_published": "2025-10-06T06:09:02Z", "date_modified": "2025-10-06T06:09:02Z", "authors": [ { "name": "Nic Payne", "url": "https://pype.dev" } ], "tags": [ "reflection", "faith" ] }, { "id": "https://pype.dev/reflection-1-kings-19-8/", "url": "https://pype.dev/reflection-1-kings-19-8/", "title": "Reflection - 1 Kings 19:8", "content_html": "\u003cp\u003eSpurgeon picked 1 Kings 19:8 this morning and his meditation was encouraging at\na meta-level. Highlighting to me that we (Christians) in maturity can be\nrefreshed from any passage of scripture. This isn\u0026rsquo;t because the Bible is magic,\nand I believe it should be studied appropriately in context (heavily) in order to\nsolidify foundational pieces of understanding.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBut I also cannot deny that I serve a living God who actively works in the\nlives of people - and one way he might do that is to encourage through pastoral\nreflection on Biblical truths that may be \u003cstrong\u003ebrought to mind\u003c/strong\u003e though not\nnecessarily instructed in a passage. This is a specific point of Christian life\nthat I have been meditating loosely on lately - to be open in my heart to\nfinding joy and refreshment in Biblical truths that God may bring to mind even\nthough the \u0026ldquo;origin\u0026rdquo; of that thought might be an unrelated passage of Scripture.\nThis has been the case for a few weeks at this point, and today felt\nsignificant as I read Spurgeon\u0026rsquo;s thoughts on being supplied for the sake of the\nLord\u0026rsquo;s service.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"admonition note\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"admonition-title\"\u003e1 Kings 19:8\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSo he got up, ate, drank, and went in the strength of that food forty days and forty nights up to Horeb, the mountain of God.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"admonition warning\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"admonition-title\"\u003eQuick Context\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eJezebel is chasing the prophet Elijah who has fled into the wilderness. Elijah\nfears for his life and asks Yahweh to simply kill him. Yahweh (well, the \u003ca href=\"/angel-of-yahweh/\" class=\"wikilink\" data-title=\"Angel of Yahweh\" data-description=\"The Angel of Yahweh is but isn\u0026#39;t Yahweh, it\u0026#39;s the second person of the Trinity, the visible Yahweh to the invisible Yahweh\" data-date=\"2025-10-05\" data-preview=\"The Angel of Yahweh is but isn\u0026#39;t Yahweh, it\u0026#39;s the second person of the Trinity, the visible Yahweh to the invisible Yahweh\"\u003eAngel of Yahweh\u003c/a\u003e\u0026hellip;\nbut we\u0026rsquo;ll do that another time) meets him in his distress resting\nunder a tree - he provides food, water, and protection for Elijah to take a\nnap. He does it again and then tells Elijah to travel to Horeb.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003ch2 id=\"reflection\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"heading-wear-glyph\"\u003eReflection\u003c/span\u003e \u003ca href=\"#reflection\" class=\"heading-anchor\"\u003e#\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eElijah is faithful to the Lord, and finds himself tired and in need. Yahweh\nmeets him, feeds him, and then \u003cstrong\u003egives him more work to do\u003c/strong\u003e. This is the point\nof Spurgeon\u0026rsquo;s writing this morning, that every ounce of work should be poured\nout unto the Lord\u0026rsquo;s service. Every single thing I do should be laced with songs\nof praise to the King. It\u0026rsquo;s easy to say \u0026ldquo;blessed be the Name of the Lord\u0026rdquo; when\nI am in surplus, and even in trial and want I think my faith has been tested\nand proven to some non-trivial degrees\u0026hellip; But what about when I\u0026rsquo;m tired? Do I\nseek rest as a means to be refreshed \u003cstrong\u003eunto his service\u003c/strong\u003e? Or do I seek a\nhollow shell of rest, one that in reality isn\u0026rsquo;t restorative and refreshing, but\nis instead deadening and numbing\u0026hellip; I think I find myself actively pushing\nagainst holy rest out of love for, and slavery to myself. Maybe not quite to\ndoom and selfish as to say \u0026ldquo;myself\u0026rdquo; only, but out of fear of something else -\nmaybe as trivial as failure.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eGod is bringing to my mind why I haven\u0026rsquo;t built more, why I\u0026rsquo;m disconnected from\nwork, why I zonk out so much\u0026hellip; If I accept refreshment - physical refreshment-\nthrough a God-given grace then I am duty-bound to use it wisely\u0026hellip; But I find\nthat I am afraid of the daunting work of doing something well, and day to day I\nfind myself hesitant to accept the refreshment out of an abandonment of the\ngood that can come through the hard work of doing it well.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eGod is telling me to eat and drink, to be refreshed\u0026hellip; I genuinely believe God\nis speaking to me through 1 King 19:8 - to take the strength he provides via\nthe channels I know he provides them, and to wisely-steward the work he\u0026rsquo;s given\nme to do.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis week I\u0026rsquo;ve pre-planned to dedicate time away from work to my own project\nand I feel encouraged going into tomorrow almost with foreknowledge of the\nstrength God will offer me in the morning\u003c/p\u003e\n", "content_text": "\nSpurgeon picked 1 Kings 19:8 this morning and his meditation was encouraging at\na meta-level. Highlighting to me that we (Christians) in maturity can be\nrefreshed from any passage of scripture. This isn't because the Bible is magic,\nand I believe it should be studied appropriately in context (heavily) in order to\nsolidify foundational pieces of understanding.\n\nBut I also cannot deny that I serve a living God who actively works in the\nlives of people - and one way he might do that is to encourage through pastoral\nreflection on Biblical truths that may be **brought to mind** though not\nnecessarily instructed in a passage. This is a specific point of Christian life\nthat I have been meditating loosely on lately - to be open in my heart to\nfinding joy and refreshment in Biblical truths that God may bring to mind even\nthough the \"origin\" of that thought might be an unrelated passage of Scripture.\nThis has been the case for a few weeks at this point, and today felt\nsignificant as I read Spurgeon's thoughts on being supplied for the sake of the\nLord's service.\n\n!!! note \"1 Kings 19:8\"\n\n So he got up, ate, drank, and went in the strength of that food forty days and forty nights up to Horeb, the mountain of God.\n\n!!! warning \"Quick Context\"\n\n Jezebel is chasing the prophet Elijah who has fled into the wilderness. Elijah\n fears for his life and asks Yahweh to simply kill him. Yahweh (well, the \u003ca href=\"/angel-of-yahweh/\" class=\"wikilink\" data-title=\"Angel of Yahweh\" data-description=\"The Angel of Yahweh is but isn\u0026#39;t Yahweh, it\u0026#39;s the second person of the Trinity, the visible Yahweh to the invisible Yahweh\" data-date=\"2025-10-05\"\u003eAngel of Yahweh\u003c/a\u003e...\n but we'll do that another time) meets him in his distress resting\n under a tree - he provides food, water, and protection for Elijah to take a\n nap. He does it again and then tells Elijah to travel to Horeb.\n\n## Reflection\n\nElijah is faithful to the Lord, and finds himself tired and in need. Yahweh\nmeets him, feeds him, and then **gives him more work to do**. This is the point\nof Spurgeon's writing this morning, that every ounce of work should be poured\nout unto the Lord's service. Every single thing I do should be laced with songs\nof praise to the King. It's easy to say \"blessed be the Name of the Lord\" when\nI am in surplus, and even in trial and want I think my faith has been tested\nand proven to some non-trivial degrees... But what about when I'm tired? Do I\nseek rest as a means to be refreshed **unto his service**? Or do I seek a\nhollow shell of rest, one that in reality isn't restorative and refreshing, but\nis instead deadening and numbing... I think I find myself actively pushing\nagainst holy rest out of love for, and slavery to myself. Maybe not quite to\ndoom and selfish as to say \"myself\" only, but out of fear of something else -\nmaybe as trivial as failure.\n\nGod is bringing to my mind why I haven't built more, why I'm disconnected from\nwork, why I zonk out so much... If I accept refreshment - physical refreshment-\nthrough a God-given grace then I am duty-bound to use it wisely... But I find\nthat I am afraid of the daunting work of doing something well, and day to day I\nfind myself hesitant to accept the refreshment out of an abandonment of the\ngood that can come through the hard work of doing it well.\n\nGod is telling me to eat and drink, to be refreshed... I genuinely believe God\nis speaking to me through 1 King 19:8 - to take the strength he provides via\nthe channels I know he provides them, and to wisely-steward the work he's given\nme to do.\n\nThis week I've pre-planned to dedicate time away from work to my own project\nand I feel encouraged going into tomorrow almost with foreknowledge of the\nstrength God will offer me in the morning\n", "summary": "Spurgeon picked 1 Kings 19:8 this morning and his meditation was encouraging at a meta-level. Highlighting to me that we (Christians) in maturity can be...", "date_published": "2025-10-05T06:59:52Z", "date_modified": "2025-10-05T06:59:52Z", "authors": [ { "name": "Nic Payne", "url": "https://pype.dev" } ], "tags": [ "reflection", "faith" ] }, { "id": "https://pype.dev/reflection-psalm-84-11/", "url": "https://pype.dev/reflection-psalm-84-11/", "title": "Reflection - Psalm 84:11", "content_html": "\u003cp\u003eSpurgeon\u0026rsquo;s Morning and Evening today (actually the evening one) is for \u003ca href=\"https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+84%3A11\u0026amp;version=ESV\"\u003ePsalm 84:11\u003c/a\u003e.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"admonition note\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"admonition-title\"\u003ePsalm 84:11\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePsalm 84:11 (LEB): 11 Because Yahweh God is a sun and a shield; Yahweh gives grace and honor. He does not withhold good from those who walk blamelessly.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhat is it to me to hear and know that \u003cstrong\u003eYahweh gives grace and honor\u003c/strong\u003e? I\u0026rsquo;m asking this because Spurgon\u0026rsquo;s meditation this morning has a particularly striking line in it\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cblockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe little conjunction “and” in this verse is a diamond rivet binding the present with the future: grace and glory always go together.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe translation he was using has \u0026ldquo;glory\u0026rdquo;, I quoted \u0026ldquo;honor\u0026rdquo;. The word is \u003ccode\u003eכָּבוֹד\u003c/code\u003e\n(kabod) which generally basically means \u0026ldquo;weight\u0026rdquo;.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI got very distracted this morning unfortunately and therefore my reflection\nwill be cut short\u0026hellip; I know meditating on these things opens my day up to go in\na better direction\u0026hellip; May Yahweh give grace to me today, to live in a glorified\nand honorable way\u0026hellip; one worthy of the gospel of Christ.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"admonition note\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"admonition-title\"\u003ePhilippians 1:27\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ. Then, whether I come and see you or only hear about you in my absence, I will know that you stand firm in the one Spirit, striving together as one for the faith of the gospel\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n", "content_text": "\nSpurgeon's Morning and Evening today (actually the evening one) is for [Psalm 84:11](https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+84%3A11\u0026version=ESV).\n\n!!! note \"Psalm 84:11\"\n\n Psalm 84:11 (LEB): 11 Because Yahweh God is a sun and a shield; Yahweh gives grace and honor. He does not withhold good from those who walk blamelessly.\n\nWhat is it to me to hear and know that **Yahweh gives grace and honor**? I'm asking this because Spurgon's meditation this morning has a particularly striking line in it\n\n\u003e The little conjunction “and” in this verse is a diamond rivet binding the present with the future: grace and glory always go together.\n\nThe translation he was using has \"glory\", I quoted \"honor\". The word is `כָּבוֹד`\n(kabod) which generally basically means \"weight\".\n\nI got very distracted this morning unfortunately and therefore my reflection\nwill be cut short... I know meditating on these things opens my day up to go in\na better direction... May Yahweh give grace to me today, to live in a glorified\nand honorable way... one worthy of the gospel of Christ.\n\n!!! note \"Philippians 1:27\"\n\n Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ. Then, whether I come and see you or only hear about you in my absence, I will know that you stand firm in the one Spirit, striving together as one for the faith of the gospel\n", "summary": "Spurgeon's Morning and Evening today (actually the evening one) is for Psalm 84:11.", "date_published": "2025-10-01T06:34:25Z", "date_modified": "2025-10-01T06:34:25Z", "authors": [ { "name": "Nic Payne", "url": "https://pype.dev" } ], "tags": [ "reflection", "faith" ] }, { "id": "https://pype.dev/reflection-deuteronomy-33-29/", "url": "https://pype.dev/reflection-deuteronomy-33-29/", "title": "Reflection - Deuteronomy 33:29", "content_html": "\u003cblockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNote reflections are not theological study\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSpurgeon\u0026rsquo;s Morning and Evening today starts with:\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"admonition note\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"admonition-title\"\u003eDeuteronomy 33:29\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDeuteronomy 33:29 (LEB): 29 Blessed are you, O Israel. Who is like you, a people who is saved by Yahweh, the shield of your help, and who is the sword of your triumph, and your enemies, they shall fawn before you, and you shall tread on their backs.”\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhat is it to be saved by Yahweh? It is to be blessed\u0026hellip; Material blessings are the cheapest understanding of this idea\u0026hellip;\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cdetails class=\"admonition danger\" open\u003e\n\u003csummary class=\"admonition-title\"\u003eDanger\u003c/summary\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI feel such a strong need to even say that, in any of my public reflections to try to caveat every statement that someone hostile to my faith might say while reading, or get ahead of a bad idea a less mature Christian might hear me say without enough context\u0026hellip; but ultimately these reflections are not deep study, and when I acknowledge that \u0026rsquo;to be saved by God is to be blessed\u0026rsquo; I don\u0026rsquo;t need to follow it up with \u0026ldquo;but not necessarily with money and possessions\u0026rdquo;\u0026hellip; No, the truth of God flows from the Word and through our lives out of experience with him, and out of that intersection this morning do I proclaim I am blessed and saved by Yahweh\u0026hellip;\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/details\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe blessing is the saving, and the saving is the blessing. Apart from faith in\nJesus, I see no way to understand this biblical truth appropriately. In\nYahweh\u0026rsquo;s divine grace he has called me - he is the shield of my help in what he\nhas called me to. A simple summary is that he enables me to do the job he\u0026rsquo;s\ngiven. This is why the saving is the blessing\u0026hellip; Any creature is most happy,\nmost safe, most successful when it is operating within the bounds of its design\nand purpose\u0026hellip; An airplane is a fast mode of transportation but if you place it\non the highway - outside the boundaries of the sky and put in the context it\nwasn\u0026rsquo;t meant to operate it, it won\u0026rsquo;t be a very fast or useful means of getting\nfrom A to B.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYahweh\u0026rsquo;s saving act of grace invites humans into the context whereby they can\nlive according to their design and purpose. I believe the humanitarian efforts\nto unite humanity along common grounds are good-faith efforts doomed to fail\nbecause to be \u003cstrong\u003etruly\u003c/strong\u003e human is to be saved by the One Who Saves\u0026hellip; Yahweh\nsaves his people \u003cstrong\u003eback to humanity\u003c/strong\u003e (or forward to a new humanity - I\u0026rsquo;m not\nhere to debate eschatology with anyone at the moment). In this grace is unity and freedom.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMy reflections consistently revolve around what is becoming a central theme in\nmy theology - the meaning of freedom in Jesus. He saved me back to being truly\nhuman, and in my humanity I freely choose to live my life in loyalty to the one\nwho saves me. I\u0026rsquo;m only free to choose the right thing because he enabled me to.\nIn making that choice, whatever it might be, if I choose the godly option it\ncomes with the most blessing. That blessing is being conformed into the image\nand likeness of Jesus. Yahweh molds me into what it means to be hunman\u0026hellip;\nSanctification is the process by which we \u0026ldquo;more naturally\u0026rdquo; choose the godly\nthing. Because as our will is molded to his, our natural choice more often\naligns with what God wants. The blessing has to be understood ultimately as\nbeing saved, as restoration\u0026hellip; To see blessing as money or power or success is\nto remain broken, remaining broken is evidence of not being saved. ie. It\u0026rsquo;s\nonly by the saving power of Jesus that the blessing of being saved can be\nunderstood - this is how Paul can say that even blessings on earth are garbage\ncompared to the glories of heaven.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe picture of the perfect human becomes more clear to me day by day as Jesus\nreveals himself to me, and I pray the freedom in Christ permeates my life\nquickly and deeply so that my free-will choice aligns with God\u0026rsquo;s will for my\nlife. In that state is shalom.\u003c/p\u003e\n", "content_text": "\n\u003e Note reflections are not theological study\n\nSpurgeon's Morning and Evening today starts with:\n\n!!! note \"Deuteronomy 33:29\"\n\n Deuteronomy 33:29 (LEB): 29 Blessed are you, O Israel. Who is like you, a people who is saved by Yahweh, the shield of your help, and who is the sword of your triumph, and your enemies, they shall fawn before you, and you shall tread on their backs.”\n\nWhat is it to be saved by Yahweh? It is to be blessed... Material blessings are the cheapest understanding of this idea...\n\n???+ danger \"\"\n\n I feel such a strong need to even say that, in any of my public reflections to try to caveat every statement that someone hostile to my faith might say while reading, or get ahead of a bad idea a less mature Christian might hear me say without enough context... but ultimately these reflections are not deep study, and when I acknowledge that 'to be saved by God is to be blessed' I don't need to follow it up with \"but not necessarily with money and possessions\"... No, the truth of God flows from the Word and through our lives out of experience with him, and out of that intersection this morning do I proclaim I am blessed and saved by Yahweh...\n\nThe blessing is the saving, and the saving is the blessing. Apart from faith in\nJesus, I see no way to understand this biblical truth appropriately. In\nYahweh's divine grace he has called me - he is the shield of my help in what he\nhas called me to. A simple summary is that he enables me to do the job he's\ngiven. This is why the saving is the blessing... Any creature is most happy,\nmost safe, most successful when it is operating within the bounds of its design\nand purpose... An airplane is a fast mode of transportation but if you place it\non the highway - outside the boundaries of the sky and put in the context it\nwasn't meant to operate it, it won't be a very fast or useful means of getting\nfrom A to B.\n\nYahweh's saving act of grace invites humans into the context whereby they can\nlive according to their design and purpose. I believe the humanitarian efforts\nto unite humanity along common grounds are good-faith efforts doomed to fail\nbecause to be **truly** human is to be saved by the One Who Saves... Yahweh\nsaves his people **back to humanity** (or forward to a new humanity - I'm not\nhere to debate eschatology with anyone at the moment). In this grace is unity and freedom.\n\nMy reflections consistently revolve around what is becoming a central theme in\nmy theology - the meaning of freedom in Jesus. He saved me back to being truly\nhuman, and in my humanity I freely choose to live my life in loyalty to the one\nwho saves me. I'm only free to choose the right thing because he enabled me to.\nIn making that choice, whatever it might be, if I choose the godly option it\ncomes with the most blessing. That blessing is being conformed into the image\nand likeness of Jesus. Yahweh molds me into what it means to be hunman...\nSanctification is the process by which we \"more naturally\" choose the godly\nthing. Because as our will is molded to his, our natural choice more often\naligns with what God wants. The blessing has to be understood ultimately as\nbeing saved, as restoration... To see blessing as money or power or success is\nto remain broken, remaining broken is evidence of not being saved. ie. It's\nonly by the saving power of Jesus that the blessing of being saved can be\nunderstood - this is how Paul can say that even blessings on earth are garbage\ncompared to the glories of heaven.\n\nThe picture of the perfect human becomes more clear to me day by day as Jesus\nreveals himself to me, and I pray the freedom in Christ permeates my life\nquickly and deeply so that my free-will choice aligns with God's will for my\nlife. In that state is shalom.\n", "summary": "Note reflections are not theological study", "date_published": "2025-09-27T06:38:42Z", "date_modified": "2025-09-27T06:38:42Z", "authors": [ { "name": "Nic Payne", "url": "https://pype.dev" } ], "tags": [ "reflection", "faith" ] }, { "id": "https://pype.dev/reflection-romans-3-26/", "url": "https://pype.dev/reflection-romans-3-26/", "title": "Reflection - Romans 3:26", "content_html": "\u003cp\u003eFrom Morning and Evening today, Spurgeon has thoughts on Romans 3:26. I need\nmore context personally, so here\u0026rsquo;s a newer translation of 3:25-26\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"admonition note\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"admonition-title\"\u003eRomans 3:25-26\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e25God put Jesus forth as the place of mercy, through faithfulness, by\nmeans of his blood. He did this to demonstrate his covenant justice, because\nof the passing over (in divine forbearance) of sins committed beforehand.\n26This was to demonstrate his covenant justice in the present time: that\nis, that he himself is in the right, and that he declares to be in the right\neveryone who trusts in the faithfulness of Jesus.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eGoldingay, J., \u0026amp; Wright, T. (2018). The Bible for Everyone: A New Translation\n(Ro 3:25–26). SPCK.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003cdetails class=\"admonition danger\"\u003e\n\u003csummary class=\"admonition-title\"\u003eNPP\u003c/summary\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI\u0026rsquo;m not here to debate \u0026ldquo;faith in Jesus\u0026rdquo; vs \u0026ldquo;faithfulness of Jesus\u0026rdquo;\u0026hellip; I\nfeel so beyond debating semantics when either way it\u0026rsquo;s Jesus who gives you\nfaith and chooses in the first place\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/details\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSpurgeon\u0026rsquo;s meditation certainly resolves around Penal Substitutionary\nAtonement, a doctrine I have come to mostly reject, but I have plenty of\ncommon-ground with a conviction of PSA-subscribers and Spurgeon - and that\u0026rsquo;s\nthat we can trust, as chosen people of God, that \u0026ldquo;there is now \u003cstrong\u003eno\u003c/strong\u003e\ncondemnation for those in Christ Jesus\u0026rdquo;\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNot only is there no condemnation, but on the contrary Jesus \u003cstrong\u003edeclares to be\nin the right everyone who trusts\u003c/strong\u003e.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is the great confidence of the Christian, and the source of my comfort -\nthat even though there is sin in my past and future (and I pray sorrow over\nit), I can trust in God\u0026rsquo;s unchanging nature. He says in effect \u0026ldquo;Out of my\ndivine grace to call your name from the grave, by the covering of Jesus and the\nwork of the cross, you are free. Free from condemnation, free from judgement,\nand today (and everyday) free from the yoke of sin\u0026rdquo;\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFreedom\u0026hellip; such an interesting word\u0026hellip; It came up recently in my\n\u003ca href=\"/reflection-galatians-5-1/\" class=\"wikilink\" data-title=\"Reflection - Galatians 5:1\" data-description=\"Spurgeon\u0026#39;s \u0026#34;Morning and Evening\u0026#34; today is about the freedom we have in Christ. Freedom is a core concept of Christianity, and one no doubt bastardized and...\" data-date=\"2025-09-19\" data-preview=\"Spurgeon\u0026#39;s \u0026#34;Morning and Evening\u0026#34; today is about the freedom we have in Christ. Freedom is a core concept of Christianity, and one no doubt bastardized and...\"\u003eReflection - Galatians 5:1\u003c/a\u003e as well. I guess as I reflect here, freedom is\nabout our behavior and what we do or don\u0026rsquo;t do. But confidence is the partner of\nfreedom. A child who has the freedom on the playground to play with whatever\nthey want will sit in the corner if they are afraid of consequences of doing\nsomething wrong - this would come from a place of not trusting in the freedom\nthey\u0026rsquo;ve been given. The child lacks comfort in their freedom to play with what\nthey want unless the faithfulness and goodness of the one who gives the freedom\nis impressed into the child and they can exercise trust in that authority -\nwhich is manifest in their joyful play on the playground.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSo for the Christian this obviously doesn\u0026rsquo;t mean \u0026ldquo;free to do whatever I want\u0026rdquo;,\nthe metaphor isn\u0026rsquo;t perfect (it\u0026rsquo;s made better by aligning the walls around a\nplayground with the boundaries of proper-human living)\u0026hellip; Jesus actually gives\nme the freedom to do \u003cstrong\u003ehis\u003c/strong\u003e will over my own, because apart from him I am not\nable to choose anything besides the sinful desires of my own heart.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBut this morning, I think the full circle is that when I do choose my own\ndesires, when I fall back into the \u0026ldquo;not yet\u0026rdquo;, when I sacrifice my divine\nfreedom on the altar of my own life for a cheap song, I can \u003cstrong\u003estill have\nconfidence that my God calls me right by the work of my Lord, Jesus\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis great confidence can never excuse sin, can never justify the choice. But\nthe reality is that a good God ordered and created the world, and he chooses\nwhomever he chooses\u0026hellip; By his graceful choice to adopt me, I have confidence in\nhis Name that the sin I run to will not ultimately destroy me - because Jesus\nintervened and gives me new life everyday\u003c/p\u003e\n", "content_text": "\nFrom Morning and Evening today, Spurgeon has thoughts on Romans 3:26. I need\nmore context personally, so here's a newer translation of 3:25-26\n\n!!! note \"Romans 3:25-26\"\n\n 25God put Jesus forth as the place of mercy, through faithfulness, by\n means of his blood. He did this to demonstrate his covenant justice, because\n of the passing over (in divine forbearance) of sins committed beforehand.\n 26This was to demonstrate his covenant justice in the present time: that\n is, that he himself is in the right, and that he declares to be in the right\n everyone who trusts in the faithfulness of Jesus.\n\n Goldingay, J., \u0026 Wright, T. (2018). The Bible for Everyone: A New Translation\n (Ro 3:25–26). SPCK.\n\n??? danger \"NPP\"\n\n I'm not here to debate \"faith in Jesus\" vs \"faithfulness of Jesus\"... I\n feel so beyond debating semantics when either way it's Jesus who gives you\n faith and chooses in the first place\n\nSpurgeon's meditation certainly resolves around Penal Substitutionary\nAtonement, a doctrine I have come to mostly reject, but I have plenty of\ncommon-ground with a conviction of PSA-subscribers and Spurgeon - and that's\nthat we can trust, as chosen people of God, that \"there is now **no**\ncondemnation for those in Christ Jesus\"\n\nNot only is there no condemnation, but on the contrary Jesus **declares to be\nin the right everyone who trusts**.\n\nThis is the great confidence of the Christian, and the source of my comfort -\nthat even though there is sin in my past and future (and I pray sorrow over\nit), I can trust in God's unchanging nature. He says in effect \"Out of my\ndivine grace to call your name from the grave, by the covering of Jesus and the\nwork of the cross, you are free. Free from condemnation, free from judgement,\nand today (and everyday) free from the yoke of sin\"\n\nFreedom... such an interesting word... It came up recently in my\n\u003ca href=\"/reflection-galatians-5-1/\" class=\"wikilink\" data-title=\"Reflection - Galatians 5:1\" data-description=\"Spurgeon\u0026#39;s \u0026#34;Morning and Evening\u0026#34; today is about the freedom we have in Christ. Freedom is a core concept of Christianity, and one no doubt bastardized and...\" data-date=\"2025-09-19\"\u003eReflection - Galatians 5:1\u003c/a\u003e as well. I guess as I reflect here, freedom is\nabout our behavior and what we do or don't do. But confidence is the partner of\nfreedom. A child who has the freedom on the playground to play with whatever\nthey want will sit in the corner if they are afraid of consequences of doing\nsomething wrong - this would come from a place of not trusting in the freedom\nthey've been given. The child lacks comfort in their freedom to play with what\nthey want unless the faithfulness and goodness of the one who gives the freedom\nis impressed into the child and they can exercise trust in that authority -\nwhich is manifest in their joyful play on the playground.\n\nSo for the Christian this obviously doesn't mean \"free to do whatever I want\",\nthe metaphor isn't perfect (it's made better by aligning the walls around a\nplayground with the boundaries of proper-human living)... Jesus actually gives\nme the freedom to do **his** will over my own, because apart from him I am not\nable to choose anything besides the sinful desires of my own heart.\n\nBut this morning, I think the full circle is that when I do choose my own\ndesires, when I fall back into the \"not yet\", when I sacrifice my divine\nfreedom on the altar of my own life for a cheap song, I can **still have\nconfidence that my God calls me right by the work of my Lord, Jesus**\n\nThis great confidence can never excuse sin, can never justify the choice. But\nthe reality is that a good God ordered and created the world, and he chooses\nwhomever he chooses... By his graceful choice to adopt me, I have confidence in\nhis Name that the sin I run to will not ultimately destroy me - because Jesus\nintervened and gives me new life everyday\n", "summary": "From Morning and Evening today, Spurgeon has thoughts on Romans 3:26. I need more context personally, so here's a newer translation of 3:25-26", "date_published": "2025-09-24T05:42:24Z", "date_modified": "2025-09-24T05:42:24Z", "authors": [ { "name": "Nic Payne", "url": "https://pype.dev" } ], "tags": [ "reflection", "faith" ] }, { "id": "https://pype.dev/reflection-galatians-5-1/", "url": "https://pype.dev/reflection-galatians-5-1/", "title": "Reflection - Galatians 5:1", "content_html": "\u003cp\u003eSpurgeon\u0026rsquo;s \u0026ldquo;Morning and Evening\u0026rdquo; today is about the freedom we have in Christ.\nFreedom is a core concept of Christianity, and one no doubt bastardized and\nwarped by modern progressive culture (like Ancient Greek modern, not 2010s modern).\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFreedom is \u003cstrong\u003enot\u003c/strong\u003e the ability to do whatever I want without consequence\u0026hellip;\nit\u0026rsquo;s not even the ability to do whatever I want! What a nightmarish hell the\nworld would be if each one of us could (and especially did) act on every desire\nthat comes into our hearts\u0026hellip;\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"admonition danger\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"admonition-title\"\u003eIsle of Dreams\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt\u0026rsquo;s like the Island of Dreams in CS Lewis\u0026rsquo; Voyage of the Dawn Treader\u0026hellip; The\nseaman are all excited about their \u0026ldquo;dreams\u0026rdquo; (long lost lovers, money, etc) but\nthe man they rescue makes it clear to them it\u0026rsquo;s not the place where daydreams\ncome true\u0026hellip; but dreams\u0026hellip;. think of the scary dreams you\u0026rsquo;ve had, or you\u0026rsquo;ve\nheard your kids have\u0026hellip; With that context you probably don\u0026rsquo;t want to go to the\nIsland of Dreams\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003cfigure\u003e\n\u003cimg src=\"https://cdn.statically.io/gh/pypeaday/images.pype.dev/main/blog-media/20250919112304_e78b23fa.png\" alt=\"20250919112304_e78b23fa.png\"\u003e\n\u003c/figure\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSo, this childish anti-view of \u0026ldquo;freedom\u0026rdquo; should\nimmediately be rejected by any well-reasoned adult, let alone Christian\u0026hellip; In\nthis view, self-restraint is the antithesis of freedom, and not that I have\nsome well-endowed argument against that - only I\u0026rsquo;d say it feels ridiculous that\nthese 2 ideas would be at odds. It\u0026rsquo;s simply unreasonable to me. But perhaps my\nconviction on that unreasonableness stems from an understanding that the\nfreedom Jesus offers is so much better than whatever pleases my fleeting\nfancies.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnd by that same token, freedom is not our daydreams\u0026hellip; we were all created\nwith purpose - humans made in the image of God. Accepting and understanding\nthat truth absolutely ought to affect how we live. I am not a \u0026ldquo;good person\u0026rdquo; by\ndefault - I have the \u003cstrong\u003efreedom\u003c/strong\u003e to act \u0026ldquo;good\u0026rdquo; because Jesus saves me, and\ncalls me to a higher standard of living than I would call myself to.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnd that\u0026rsquo;s the meditation today - bourne out of the words in Galatians 5:1\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"admonition note\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"admonition-title\"\u003eGalatians 5:1\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor freedom Christ has set us free. Stand firm, therefore, and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf I were to submit myself to my own desires, I\u0026rsquo;d end up a slave to them. I\u0026rsquo;ve\nfelt this reality in many ways over my life, and Jesus has been good to me. He\nfrees me from myself, he freely offers himself to me (aye, his message goes out\nto all the world, and the ones who are called answer). In that freedom I\u0026rsquo;m\nfaced with a choice, the same choice as the Garden\u0026hellip; Do what I want (eat of\nthe tree of knowledge of good and bad) or trust what God says is good, is good,\nand make the choice by Jesus\u0026rsquo; grace to \u003cstrong\u003enot\u003c/strong\u003e eat of the tree of knowledge of\ngood and bad, but instead of the tree of life, presently experienced as\ncommunion with the Holy Spirit and fellowship with my King Jesus.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor freedom Christ has set me free, may I walk in his freedom today.\u003c/p\u003e\n", "content_text": "\nSpurgeon's \"Morning and Evening\" today is about the freedom we have in Christ.\nFreedom is a core concept of Christianity, and one no doubt bastardized and\nwarped by modern progressive culture (like Ancient Greek modern, not 2010s modern).\n\nFreedom is __not__ the ability to do whatever I want without consequence...\nit's not even the ability to do whatever I want! What a nightmarish hell the\nworld would be if each one of us could (and especially did) act on every desire\nthat comes into our hearts... \n\n!!! danger \"Isle of Dreams\"\n\n It's like the Island of Dreams in CS Lewis' Voyage of the Dawn Treader... The\n seaman are all excited about their \"dreams\" (long lost lovers, money, etc) but\n the man they rescue makes it clear to them it's not the place where daydreams\n come true... but dreams.... think of the scary dreams you've had, or you've\n heard your kids have... With that context you probably don't want to go to the\n Island of Dreams\n\n![20250919112304_e78b23fa.png](https://cdn.statically.io/gh/pypeaday/images.pype.dev/main/blog-media/20250919112304_e78b23fa.png)\n\nSo, this childish anti-view of \"freedom\" should\nimmediately be rejected by any well-reasoned adult, let alone Christian... In\nthis view, self-restraint is the antithesis of freedom, and not that I have\nsome well-endowed argument against that - only I'd say it feels ridiculous that\nthese 2 ideas would be at odds. It's simply unreasonable to me. But perhaps my\nconviction on that unreasonableness stems from an understanding that the\nfreedom Jesus offers is so much better than whatever pleases my fleeting\nfancies.\n\nAnd by that same token, freedom is not our daydreams... we were all created\nwith purpose - humans made in the image of God. Accepting and understanding\nthat truth absolutely ought to affect how we live. I am not a \"good person\" by\ndefault - I have the __freedom__ to act \"good\" because Jesus saves me, and\ncalls me to a higher standard of living than I would call myself to.\n\nAnd that's the meditation today - bourne out of the words in Galatians 5:1\n\n!!! note \"Galatians 5:1\"\n\n For freedom Christ has set us free. Stand firm, therefore, and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery. \n\nIf I were to submit myself to my own desires, I'd end up a slave to them. I've\nfelt this reality in many ways over my life, and Jesus has been good to me. He\nfrees me from myself, he freely offers himself to me (aye, his message goes out\nto all the world, and the ones who are called answer). In that freedom I'm\nfaced with a choice, the same choice as the Garden... Do what I want (eat of\nthe tree of knowledge of good and bad) or trust what God says is good, is good,\nand make the choice by Jesus' grace to __not__ eat of the tree of knowledge of\ngood and bad, but instead of the tree of life, presently experienced as\ncommunion with the Holy Spirit and fellowship with my King Jesus.\n\nFor freedom Christ has set me free, may I walk in his freedom today.\n\n", "summary": "Spurgeon's \"Morning and Evening\" today is about the freedom we have in Christ. Freedom is a core concept of Christianity, and one no doubt bastardized and...", "date_published": "2025-09-19T06:04:58Z", "date_modified": "2025-09-19T06:04:58Z", "authors": [ { "name": "Nic Payne", "url": "https://pype.dev" } ], "tags": [ "reflection", "faith" ] }, { "id": "https://pype.dev/reflection-galatians-5-24-25/", "url": "https://pype.dev/reflection-galatians-5-24-25/", "title": "Reflection - Galatians 5:24-25", "content_html": "\u003cdiv class=\"admonition note\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"admonition-title\"\u003eGalatians 5:24-25\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e24 Now those ⌊who belong to Christ⌋  have crucified the flesh together with its feelings and its desires.\n25 If we live by the Spirit, we must also follow the Spirit. 26 We must not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSpurgeon\u0026rsquo;s \u0026ldquo;Morning and Evening\u0026rdquo; is a mediation on living in and following the Spirit. He says this:\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cblockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou will never find true faith unattended by true godliness; on the other\nhand, you will never discover a truly holy life which has not for its root a\nliving faith upon the righteousness of Christ\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ccode\u003egodliness\u003c/code\u003e is the \u0026ldquo;following the Spirit\u0026rdquo; in our daily lives - it is living\n\u0026ldquo;like god\u0026rdquo;. What then is \u0026ldquo;true faith\u0026rdquo;? I think I can take Spurgeon to be saying\nthat upon internal meditation do I find my faith to be secure and genuine.\n\u0026ldquo;true faith\u0026rdquo; is between me and the Lord.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe meditation this morning though\u0026hellip; \u0026ldquo;If I live by the Spirit, I must also\nfollow the Spirit\u0026rdquo; is once again heavy on my heart as I wrestled through\n\u003ca href=\"/reflecting-on-romans-7-7-13/\" class=\"wikilink\" data-title=\"Reflecting on Romans 7:7-13\" data-description=\"Romans 7:7–7:13 (ESV): 7 What then shall we say? That the law is sin? By no means! Yet if it had not been for the law, I would not have known sin. For I...\" data-date=\"2025-08-18\" data-preview=\"Romans 7:7–7:13 (ESV): 7 What then shall we say? That the law is sin? By no means! Yet if it had not been for the law, I would not have known sin. For I...\"\u003eReflecting on Romans 7:7-13\u003c/a\u003e a few weeks ago - the reality that I daily\nchoose things contrary to my faith.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI think Paul is saying \u0026ldquo;because you have crucified the flesh\u0026rdquo; as the parallel\npoint to \u0026ldquo;we must also follow the Spirit\u0026rdquo;. He\u0026rsquo;s saying \u0026ldquo;if you say you\u0026rsquo;ve\ncrucified the flesh, show your faith by following as well\u0026rdquo; - it\u0026rsquo;s James\u0026rsquo; \u0026ldquo;show\nme your faith by what you do\u0026rdquo;\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSo who am I today? Whom will I serve?\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThese morning meditations are like my 100x push-ups a day\u0026hellip; the days I do\nthem just seem marginally better, and in a season of consistency the value\nseems to compound\u0026hellip; I thank Jesus for the conviction in the first place to\nstrive for holiness, and for the \u003cdel\u003estrength\u003c/del\u003e faith to say no to the flesh, but\nyes to the Spirit.\u003c/p\u003e\n", "content_text": "\n!!! note \"Galatians 5:24-25\"\n\n 24 Now those ⌊who belong to Christ⌋  have crucified the flesh together with its feelings and its desires.\n 25 If we live by the Spirit, we must also follow the Spirit. 26 We must not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.\n\nSpurgeon's \"Morning and Evening\" is a mediation on living in and following the Spirit. He says this:\n\n\u003e You will never find true faith unattended by true godliness; on the other\n\u003e hand, you will never discover a truly holy life which has not for its root a\n\u003e living faith upon the righteousness of Christ\n\n`godliness` is the \"following the Spirit\" in our daily lives - it is living\n\"like god\". What then is \"true faith\"? I think I can take Spurgeon to be saying\nthat upon internal meditation do I find my faith to be secure and genuine.\n\"true faith\" is between me and the Lord.\n\nThe meditation this morning though... \"If I live by the Spirit, I must also\nfollow the Spirit\" is once again heavy on my heart as I wrestled through\n\u003ca href=\"/reflecting-on-romans-7-7-13/\" class=\"wikilink\" data-title=\"Reflecting on Romans 7:7-13\" data-description=\"Romans 7:7–7:13 (ESV): 7 What then shall we say? That the law is sin? By no means! Yet if it had not been for the law, I would not have known sin. For I...\" data-date=\"2025-08-18\"\u003eReflecting on Romans 7:7-13\u003c/a\u003e a few weeks ago - the reality that I daily\nchoose things contrary to my faith. \n\nI think Paul is saying \"because you have crucified the flesh\" as the parallel\npoint to \"we must also follow the Spirit\". He's saying \"if you say you've\ncrucified the flesh, show your faith by following as well\" - it's James' \"show\nme your faith by what you do\"\n\nSo who am I today? Whom will I serve?\n\nThese morning meditations are like my 100x push-ups a day... the days I do\nthem just seem marginally better, and in a season of consistency the value\nseems to compound... I thank Jesus for the conviction in the first place to\nstrive for holiness, and for the ~~strength~~ faith to say no to the flesh, but\nyes to the Spirit.\n", "summary": "!!! note \"Galatians 5:24-25\"", "date_published": "2025-09-18T05:39:12Z", "date_modified": "2025-09-18T05:39:12Z", "authors": [ { "name": "Nic Payne", "url": "https://pype.dev" } ], "tags": [ "reflection", "faith" ] }, { "id": "https://pype.dev/reflection-on-philippians-2-14-18/", "url": "https://pype.dev/reflection-on-philippians-2-14-18/", "title": "Reflection on Philippians 2:14-18", "content_html": "\u003cdiv class=\"admonition note\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"admonition-title\"\u003ePhilippians 2:15-18\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e14 Do all things without grumbling and disputing, 15 in order that you may\nbecome blameless and innocent, children of God without fault in the midst of a\ncrooked and perverted generation, among whom you shine as stars in the world,\n16 holding fast to the word of life, for a source of pride to me in the day of\nChrist, that I did not run in vain or labor in vain. 17 But even if I am being\npoured out as a drink offering on the sacrifice and service of your faith, I\nrejoice and rejoice with all of you. 18 And in the same way also you rejoice\nand rejoice with me.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u0026ldquo;Do all things without grumbling and disputing\u0026rdquo;\u0026hellip; now, taking verses out of\ncontext is one of my biggest pet-peeves in Christian circles (and non-Christian\nas well I suppose, but when non-believers who read 4 pages of the Bible 20\nyears ago try to tell me what anything means I can kindly ask them to keep\ntheir illiteracy to themselves)\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHowever! With my brothers and sisters, there\u0026rsquo;s no such ask - if we all call on\nJesus then we will edifiy and educate one another on appropriate applications\nof the inspired word of God.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWith that said\u0026hellip; dang do I grumble a lot about work\u0026hellip; at least lately. I\nbelieve that nearly everyone I work with knows my worldview, I don\u0026rsquo;t think\nanyone who spends a few days, maybe even hours (by God\u0026rsquo;s grace) will know who I\nserve just by my languge and verbiage. But I\u0026rsquo;m not a prime example of Christian\nliving (yet\u0026hellip; hopefully). I had been \u003ca href=\"/reflecting-on-romans-7-7-13/\" class=\"wikilink\" data-title=\"Reflecting on Romans 7:7-13\" data-description=\"Romans 7:7–7:13 (ESV): 7 What then shall we say? That the law is sin? By no means! Yet if it had not been for the law, I would not have known sin. For I...\" data-date=\"2025-08-18\" data-preview=\"Romans 7:7–7:13 (ESV): 7 What then shall we say? That the law is sin? By no means! Yet if it had not been for the law, I would not have known sin. For I...\"\u003eReflecting on Romans 7:7-13\u003c/a\u003e for\nseveral days and the \u0026ldquo;sin in me\u0026rdquo; is what I see come out when I let my guard\ndown against letting strife and anger enter my heart.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI read this passage and found myself immediately focused on \u0026ldquo;in the midst of a\ncrooked and perverted generation\u0026rdquo; because our generation is disgusting\u0026hellip; I\nknow immorality and public perverted-ness was present in the before-fore times,\nbut I have to imagine that Paul and the other NT writers couldn\u0026rsquo;t have imagined\nthe \u003ca href=\"/kind/\" class=\"glossary-term\" title=\"kind - kubernetes in docker\" data-hover-title=\"kind\"\u003ekind\u003c/a\u003e of disgusting perverted anti-nature nonsense that is everywhere in our\nsociety. We celebrate sex over everything, and a twisted understanding of sex\nfor that matter\u0026hellip; My daughter\u0026rsquo;s are growing up in a world where I feel the\nneed to practice constant vigilence against the evil forces in the world that\nwould seek to them and twist their understanding of themselves into nothing\nmore than objects of desire and consumption\u0026hellip; And ya know what, that\u0026rsquo;s a\nworthy thing to meditate on and prepare for.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBut it\u0026rsquo;s not what my heart needs\u0026hellip; My girls are relatively safe (for the time\nbeing) but everyday I face the sin of my own heart, it\u0026rsquo;s crouching at the door,\nand should not that be my higher concern?\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI even notice now in this reflection that my mind is drawn away from myself,\nand it is difficult to follow the Lord in meditation\u0026hellip; perhaps it\u0026rsquo;s too noisey\nbut perhaps I\u0026rsquo;m looking for too much\u0026hellip;\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis day I choose whom I will serve, and by God\u0026rsquo;s grace it\u0026rsquo;s the King Jesus\u0026hellip;\nHelp my unbelief and still the grumbling in my life.\u003c/p\u003e\n", "content_text": "\n!!! note \"Philippians 2:15-18\"\n\n 14 Do all things without grumbling and disputing, 15 in order that you may\n become blameless and innocent, children of God without fault in the midst of a\n crooked and perverted generation, among whom you shine as stars in the world,\n 16 holding fast to the word of life, for a source of pride to me in the day of\n Christ, that I did not run in vain or labor in vain. 17 But even if I am being\n poured out as a drink offering on the sacrifice and service of your faith, I\n rejoice and rejoice with all of you. 18 And in the same way also you rejoice\n and rejoice with me. \n\n\"Do all things without grumbling and disputing\"... now, taking verses out of\ncontext is one of my biggest pet-peeves in Christian circles (and non-Christian\nas well I suppose, but when non-believers who read 4 pages of the Bible 20\nyears ago try to tell me what anything means I can kindly ask them to keep\ntheir illiteracy to themselves)\n\nHowever! With my brothers and sisters, there's no such ask - if we all call on\nJesus then we will edifiy and educate one another on appropriate applications\nof the inspired word of God.\n\nWith that said... dang do I grumble a lot about work... at least lately. I\nbelieve that nearly everyone I work with knows my worldview, I don't think\nanyone who spends a few days, maybe even hours (by God's grace) will know who I\nserve just by my languge and verbiage. But I'm not a prime example of Christian\nliving (yet... hopefully). I had been \u003ca href=\"/reflecting-on-romans-7-7-13/\" class=\"wikilink\" data-title=\"Reflecting on Romans 7:7-13\" data-description=\"Romans 7:7–7:13 (ESV): 7 What then shall we say? That the law is sin? By no means! Yet if it had not been for the law, I would not have known sin. For I...\" data-date=\"2025-08-18\"\u003eReflecting on Romans 7:7-13\u003c/a\u003e for\nseveral days and the \"sin in me\" is what I see come out when I let my guard\ndown against letting strife and anger enter my heart.\n\nI read this passage and found myself immediately focused on \"in the midst of a\ncrooked and perverted generation\" because our generation is disgusting... I\nknow immorality and public perverted-ness was present in the before-fore times,\nbut I have to imagine that Paul and the other NT writers couldn't have imagined\nthe kind of disgusting perverted anti-nature nonsense that is everywhere in our\nsociety. We celebrate sex over everything, and a twisted understanding of sex\nfor that matter... My daughter's are growing up in a world where I feel the\nneed to practice constant vigilence against the evil forces in the world that\nwould seek to them and twist their understanding of themselves into nothing\nmore than objects of desire and consumption... And ya know what, that's a\nworthy thing to meditate on and prepare for.\n\nBut it's not what my heart needs... My girls are relatively safe (for the time\nbeing) but everyday I face the sin of my own heart, it's crouching at the door,\nand should not that be my higher concern?\n\nI even notice now in this reflection that my mind is drawn away from myself,\nand it is difficult to follow the Lord in meditation... perhaps it's too noisey\nbut perhaps I'm looking for too much...\n\nThis day I choose whom I will serve, and by God's grace it's the King Jesus...\nHelp my unbelief and still the grumbling in my life.\n", "summary": "!!! note \"Philippians 2:15-18\"", "date_published": "2025-09-06T07:12:55Z", "date_modified": "2025-09-06T07:12:55Z", "authors": [ { "name": "Nic Payne", "url": "https://pype.dev" } ], "tags": [ "reflection", "faith" ] }, { "id": "https://pype.dev/reflection-morning-august-31-2025/", "url": "https://pype.dev/reflection-morning-august-31-2025/", "title": "Reflection - Morning August 31 2025", "content_html": "\u003ch2 id=\"morning-august-31\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"heading-wear-glyph\"\u003eMorning, August 31\u003c/span\u003e \u003ca href=\"#morning-august-31\" class=\"heading-anchor\"\u003e#\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e“On mine arm shall they trust.\u0026quot;\n—Isaiah 51:5\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"admonition note\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"admonition-title\"\u003eSpurgeon: Morning and Evening\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIn seasons of severe trial, the Christian has nothing on earth that he can\ntrust to, and is therefore compelled to cast himself on his God alone. When his\nvessel is on its beam-ends, and no human deliverance can avail, he must simply\nand entirely trust himself to the providence and care of God. Happy storm that\nwrecks a man on such a rock as this! O blessed hurricane that drives the soul\nto God and God alone! There is no getting at our God sometimes because of the\nmultitude of our friends; but when a man is so poor, so friendless, so helpless\nthat he has nowhere else to turn, he flies into his Father’s arms, and is\nblessedly clasped therein! When he is burdened with troubles so pressing and so\npeculiar, that he cannot tell them to any but his God, he may be thankful for\nthem; for he will learn more of his Lord then than at any other time. Oh,\ntempest-tossed believer, it is a happy trouble that drives thee to thy Father!\nNow that thou hast only thy God to trust to, see that thou puttest thy full\nconfidence in him. Dishonour not thy Lord and Master by unworthy doubts and\nfears; but be strong in faith, giving glory to God. Show the world that thy God\nis worth ten thousand worlds to thee. Show rich men how rich thou art in thy\npoverty when the Lord God is thy helper. Show the strong man how strong thou\nart in thy weakness when underneath thee are the everlasting arms. Now is the\ntime for feats of faith and valiant exploits. Be strong and very courageous,\nand the Lord thy God shall certainly, as surely as he built the heavens and the\nearth, glorify himself in thy weakness, and magnify his might in the midst of\nthy distress. The grandeur of the arch of heaven would be spoiled if the sky\nwere supported by a single visible column, and your faith would lose its glory\nif it rested on anything discernible by the carnal eye. May the Holy Spirit\ngive you to rest in Jesus this closing day of the month.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSpurgeon, C. H. (1896). Morning and evening: Daily readings. Passmore \u0026amp; Alabaster.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003ch2 id=\"reflection\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"heading-wear-glyph\"\u003eReflection\u003c/span\u003e \u003ca href=\"#reflection\" class=\"heading-anchor\"\u003e#\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBy God\u0026rsquo;s grace, I was led this morning through my old Logos dashboard to the evening and morning or the morning and reading daily readings from Charles Spurgeon.\nAnd today, August 31, the morning reading is\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"admonition note\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"admonition-title\"\u003eIsaiah 51:5\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u0026ldquo;on mine arm, shall they trust.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnd it\u0026rsquo;s a short few words, but Spurgeon writes quite a bit about it.\nAnd there\u0026rsquo;s many quotes from this short morning reflection that are very relevant to me in light of my work situation.\nOne of the things there I\u0026rsquo;ve been processing the most is the powerlessness I feel in regards to corporate policy and the control\nthat my employer wants to exercise over my life.\nBut the other side of that coin of control is me and me placing my trust in my employer to provide security for me.\nAnd God has been very good to me and still has given me security outside of my primary job.\nBut I did trust that job.\nAnd it\u0026rsquo;s in the wake of losing it.\nI\u0026rsquo;m not even stretched that thin in losing my job.\nBut in the stretching that is taking place, Spurgeon says some things about God that I should impress into my heart.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cblockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOh, blessed hurricane that drives the soul to God and God alone.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eShould we not consider trials - Joy?\nI\u0026rsquo;m sure not acting that joyful.\nBut God has been very sweet to me through these reflections, through drawing my eye and soul to him through the lens of trust.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cblockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThere is no getting at our God sometimes because of the multitude of our friends. But when a man is so poor, so friendless, so helpless that he has nowhere else to turn, he flies into his father\u0026rsquo;s arms and is blessedly clasped therein.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSpurgeon clearly isn\u0026rsquo;t saying we can\u0026rsquo;t have friends here.\nI think what he is saying is \u0026ldquo;the multitude of our {idols}\u0026rdquo;, really.\nLike Job\u0026rsquo;s friends, maybe, the ones who keep our attention on work and the world and money and my 401k and the future.\nThose things are my \u0026ldquo;\u003cstrong\u003efriends\u003c/strong\u003e\u0026rdquo; because those things give me security.\nAnd maybe I have trusted too much, and now God is drawing me closer to him.\nAnd may I say, blessed be the name of the Lord who gives and takes away.\nO blessed hurricane that drives the soul to God and God alone.\nAmen.\u003c/p\u003e\n", "content_text": "\n\n## Morning, August 31\n\n“On mine arm shall they trust.\"\n—Isaiah 51:5\n\n!!! note \"Spurgeon: Morning and Evening\"\n\n In seasons of severe trial, the Christian has nothing on earth that he can\n trust to, and is therefore compelled to cast himself on his God alone. When his\n vessel is on its beam-ends, and no human deliverance can avail, he must simply\n and entirely trust himself to the providence and care of God. Happy storm that\n wrecks a man on such a rock as this! O blessed hurricane that drives the soul\n to God and God alone! There is no getting at our God sometimes because of the\n multitude of our friends; but when a man is so poor, so friendless, so helpless\n that he has nowhere else to turn, he flies into his Father’s arms, and is\n blessedly clasped therein! When he is burdened with troubles so pressing and so\n peculiar, that he cannot tell them to any but his God, he may be thankful for\n them; for he will learn more of his Lord then than at any other time. Oh,\n tempest-tossed believer, it is a happy trouble that drives thee to thy Father!\n Now that thou hast only thy God to trust to, see that thou puttest thy full\n confidence in him. Dishonour not thy Lord and Master by unworthy doubts and\n fears; but be strong in faith, giving glory to God. Show the world that thy God\n is worth ten thousand worlds to thee. Show rich men how rich thou art in thy\n poverty when the Lord God is thy helper. Show the strong man how strong thou\n art in thy weakness when underneath thee are the everlasting arms. Now is the\n time for feats of faith and valiant exploits. Be strong and very courageous,\n and the Lord thy God shall certainly, as surely as he built the heavens and the\n earth, glorify himself in thy weakness, and magnify his might in the midst of\n thy distress. The grandeur of the arch of heaven would be spoiled if the sky\n were supported by a single visible column, and your faith would lose its glory\n if it rested on anything discernible by the carnal eye. May the Holy Spirit\n give you to rest in Jesus this closing day of the month.\n\n Spurgeon, C. H. (1896). Morning and evening: Daily readings. Passmore \u0026 Alabaster.\n\n## Reflection\n\nBy God's grace, I was led this morning through my old Logos dashboard to the evening and morning or the morning and reading daily readings from Charles Spurgeon.\nAnd today, August 31, the morning reading is\n\n!!! note \"Isaiah 51:5\" \n\n \"on mine arm, shall they trust.\n\nAnd it's a short few words, but Spurgeon writes quite a bit about it.\nAnd there's many quotes from this short morning reflection that are very relevant to me in light of my work situation.\nOne of the things there I've been processing the most is the powerlessness I feel in regards to corporate policy and the control\nthat my employer wants to exercise over my life.\nBut the other side of that coin of control is me and me placing my trust in my employer to provide security for me.\nAnd God has been very good to me and still has given me security outside of my primary job.\nBut I did trust that job.\nAnd it's in the wake of losing it.\nI'm not even stretched that thin in losing my job.\nBut in the stretching that is taking place, Spurgeon says some things about God that I should impress into my heart.\n\n\u003e Oh, blessed hurricane that drives the soul to God and God alone.\n\nShould we not consider trials - Joy?\nI'm sure not acting that joyful.\nBut God has been very sweet to me through these reflections, through drawing my eye and soul to him through the lens of trust.\n\n\u003e There is no getting at our God sometimes because of the multitude of our friends. But when a man is so poor, so friendless, so helpless that he has nowhere else to turn, he flies into his father's arms and is blessedly clasped therein.\n\nSpurgeon clearly isn't saying we can't have friends here.\nI think what he is saying is \"the multitude of our {idols}\", really.\nLike Job's friends, maybe, the ones who keep our attention on work and the world and money and my 401k and the future.\nThose things are my \"__friends__\" because those things give me security.\nAnd maybe I have trusted too much, and now God is drawing me closer to him.\nAnd may I say, blessed be the name of the Lord who gives and takes away.\nO blessed hurricane that drives the soul to God and God alone.\nAmen.\n\n", "summary": "“On mine arm shall they trust.\" —Isaiah 51:5", "date_published": "2025-08-31T06:46:06Z", "date_modified": "2025-08-31T06:46:06Z", "authors": [ { "name": "Nic Payne", "url": "https://pype.dev" } ], "tags": [ "reflection", "faith" ] }, { "id": "https://pype.dev/reflection-ai-work-and-adhd/", "url": "https://pype.dev/reflection-ai-work-and-adhd/", "title": "Reflection - AI Work and ADHD", "content_html": "\u003ch2 id=\"reflection\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"heading-wear-glyph\"\u003eReflection\u003c/span\u003e \u003ca href=\"#reflection\" class=\"heading-anchor\"\u003e#\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt\u0026rsquo;s time to be more devoted to my work\u0026hellip; AI has been a cool technology to\nwatch and experience but one thing I\u0026rsquo;m allowing it to do to me is to kill my love for\nbuilding\u0026hellip; I feel like I\u0026rsquo;m arriving where I\u0026rsquo;ve already seen many talented\ndevelopers get to -\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"admonition danger\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"admonition-title\"\u003erealization\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAI is not magic, it\u0026rsquo;s a headache.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDon\u0026rsquo;t get me wrong, targeted and focused use of LLMs, with careful planning and\ntime-boxing can be great, and has been for me. But I am a creature and prone to\ntake the path of least resistance, and in many cases I\u0026rsquo;m just letting the LLM\ndo the work. This is where the ADHD element from the title comes into play.\nNow, I\u0026rsquo;m not blaming ADHD for me being lazy, because I\u0026rsquo;m not sure laziness is\nthe fairest descriptor of where I\u0026rsquo;ve been lately. A common issue for those with\nADHD, maybe even the defining characteristic, is the black-hole that\u0026rsquo;s present in the space\nwhere motiviation and reward belong in the brain. I\u0026rsquo;ve resonated with this thought for much of my life:\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"admonition note\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"admonition-title\"\u003eFulfilled or Relieved\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhen I finish tasks, I\u0026rsquo;m not fulfilled\u0026hellip; if anything I\u0026rsquo;m relieved.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is a core issue I am seeking to address in my life, and I guess in\nreal-time reflection I should thank the hellscape of AI and LLMs for surfacing\nthis pattern in my make-up today instead of when I\u0026rsquo;m in my 40s or 50s.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSo where I\u0026rsquo;ve been is that I\u0026rsquo;ll let an LLM write code and then I\u0026rsquo;ll attempt to\nbe validating the tests or example scripts I prompt it to generate, get\ncomfortable with it, and ship.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBut then in a few weeks the context of that code is all\nlost on me\u0026hellip; I didn\u0026rsquo;t craft it with blood and sweat and so when I\u0026rsquo;m asked a\nquestion about it I realize I\u0026rsquo;m barely fluent in a thing I built (did I even build it?)!\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is embarrassing and exhausting\u0026hellip; I\u0026rsquo;m not sure what I\u0026rsquo;m gonna do about\nthis, definitely not write about how I\u0026rsquo;m going to change my life over this\ndissastisfaction and from this day forward everything will be different\u0026hellip;\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBut today does feel like an infelction point in a trajectory I\u0026rsquo;ve been on with\nAI and my job, so not starting today, but just a decision I am making today, is\nto time-box every task with vigorous commitment.\u003c/p\u003e\n", "content_text": "\n## Reflection\n\nIt's time to be more devoted to my work... AI has been a cool technology to\nwatch and experience but one thing I'm allowing it to do to me is to kill my love for\nbuilding... I feel like I'm arriving where I've already seen many talented\ndevelopers get to - \n\n!!! danger \"realization\"\n\n AI is not magic, it's a headache. \n\nDon't get me wrong, targeted and focused use of LLMs, with careful planning and\ntime-boxing can be great, and has been for me. But I am a creature and prone to\ntake the path of least resistance, and in many cases I'm just letting the LLM\ndo the work. This is where the ADHD element from the title comes into play.\nNow, I'm not blaming ADHD for me being lazy, because I'm not sure laziness is\nthe fairest descriptor of where I've been lately. A common issue for those with\nADHD, maybe even the defining characteristic, is the black-hole that's present in the space\nwhere motiviation and reward belong in the brain. I've resonated with this thought for much of my life:\n\n!!! note \"Fulfilled or Relieved\"\n\n When I finish tasks, I'm not fulfilled... if anything I'm relieved.\n\nThis is a core issue I am seeking to address in my life, and I guess in\nreal-time reflection I should thank the hellscape of AI and LLMs for surfacing\nthis pattern in my make-up today instead of when I'm in my 40s or 50s.\n\nSo where I've been is that I'll let an LLM write code and then I'll attempt to\nbe validating the tests or example scripts I prompt it to generate, get\ncomfortable with it, and ship. \n\nBut then in a few weeks the context of that code is all\nlost on me... I didn't craft it with blood and sweat and so when I'm asked a\nquestion about it I realize I'm barely fluent in a thing I built (did I even build it?)! \n\nThis is embarrassing and exhausting... I'm not sure what I'm gonna do about\nthis, definitely not write about how I'm going to change my life over this\ndissastisfaction and from this day forward everything will be different... \n\nBut today does feel like an infelction point in a trajectory I've been on with\nAI and my job, so not starting today, but just a decision I am making today, is\nto time-box every task with vigorous commitment.\n", "summary": "It's time to be more devoted to my work... AI has been a cool technology to watch and experience but one thing I'm allowing it to do to me is to kill my love...", "date_published": "2025-08-27T07:16:57Z", "date_modified": "2025-08-27T07:16:57Z", "authors": [ { "name": "Nic Payne", "url": "https://pype.dev" } ], "tags": [ "adhd", "tech", "reflection" ] }, { "id": "https://pype.dev/thoughts-on-august-21-2025/", "url": "https://pype.dev/thoughts-on-august-21-2025/", "title": "Thoughts On August 21 2025", "content_html": "\u003ch1 id=\"intro\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"heading-wear-glyph\"\u003eIntro\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/h1\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBeen struggling more with work - what matters? I can\u0026rsquo;t help but feel like\nnothing\u0026hellip; As a Christian I want to do my work \u0026ldquo;for an audience of 1\u0026rdquo; as the\nsaying goes\u0026hellip; I should do my work with excellence, and I think I have striven\nfor that - it\u0026rsquo;s definitely one reason I have the success and reputation at work\nthat I do have\u0026hellip; but as far as the \u0026ldquo;work\u0026rdquo; goes, does it matter? To the\ncompany, I think the answer is clear - no. They want compliance and submission\nbefore innovation and success. But as a believer, where does my\nloyalty lie?\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhat I mean is - if I was loyal to a company, then the scenario\nI\u0026rsquo;m in would very understadably lead to what I\u0026rsquo;m currently feeling - remorse,\nregret, embarrasment, and anger. But if I\u0026rsquo;m truly loyal to Yahweh, then\nwouldn\u0026rsquo;t it not matter \u003cem\u003eat all\u003c/em\u003e what the company does? I do my work for Yahweh\nregardless of the company\u0026rsquo;s direction, instruction, or even whether or not they\nbenefit\u0026hellip; That\u0026rsquo;s my struggle - I don\u0026rsquo;t want to give another ounce of energy\ntowards the success of an entity that doesn\u0026rsquo;t give a shit about me, but am I\nviolating my own worldview and disrespecting my God by dragging my feet?\u003c/p\u003e\n", "content_text": "\n# Intro\n\nBeen struggling more with work - what matters? I can't help but feel like\nnothing... As a Christian I want to do my work \"for an audience of 1\" as the\nsaying goes... I should do my work with excellence, and I think I have striven\nfor that - it's definitely one reason I have the success and reputation at work\nthat I do have... but as far as the \"work\" goes, does it matter? To the\ncompany, I think the answer is clear - no. They want compliance and submission\nbefore innovation and success. But as a believer, where does my\nloyalty lie? \n\nWhat I mean is - if I was loyal to a company, then the scenario\nI'm in would very understadably lead to what I'm currently feeling - remorse,\nregret, embarrasment, and anger. But if I'm truly loyal to Yahweh, then\nwouldn't it not matter _at all_ what the company does? I do my work for Yahweh\nregardless of the company's direction, instruction, or even whether or not they\nbenefit... That's my struggle - I don't want to give another ounce of energy\ntowards the success of an entity that doesn't give a shit about me, but am I\nviolating my own worldview and disrespecting my God by dragging my feet?\n", "summary": "Been struggling more with work - what matters? I can't help but feel like nothing... As a Christian I want to do my work \"for an audience of 1\" as the saying...", "date_published": "2025-08-21T06:14:26Z", "date_modified": "2025-08-21T06:14:26Z", "authors": [ { "name": "Nic Payne", "url": "https://pype.dev" } ], "tags": [ "reflection", "faith" ] }, { "id": "https://pype.dev/knowledge-and-faith/", "url": "https://pype.dev/knowledge-and-faith/", "title": "Knowledge and Faith", "content_html": "\u003ch1 id=\"a-question\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"heading-wear-glyph\"\u003eA Question\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/h1\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhat does it mean to be \u0026ldquo;faithful\u0026rdquo;? I wrestle with this question in various\ncontexts pretty regularly - mostly because God has been so ridiculously stupid\ngood to me that I feel compelled to ask daily \u0026ldquo;am I being faithful with the\ngifts God has given me?\u0026rdquo;\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThere\u0026rsquo;s a lot of places to go from this starting point, but there\u0026rsquo;s some events\nhappening in my life that are giving me perspective on Jesus\u0026rsquo; faithfulness to\nthe Father\u0026rsquo;s will and what it implies for my own life of faithfulness and\nsteadfastness to the Lord.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003ch2 id=\"faithfulness\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"heading-wear-glyph\"\u003eFaithfulness\u003c/span\u003e \u003ca href=\"#faithfulness\" class=\"heading-anchor\"\u003e#\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHow do I be more like Jesus (as a human), and how do I more or less copy his\nfaithfulness to God in the wake of trial. I\u0026rsquo;ve certainly given some amount of\nthought to my own ability to be faithful in the worst potential circumstance of\nstraight up physical execution: martyrdom\u0026hellip; In Fox\u0026rsquo;s Book of Martyrs there\u0026rsquo;s\naccounts of Christians through the ages singing hymns while being\nburned alive for their faith\u0026hellip; What leads to that \u003ca href=\"/kind/\" class=\"glossary-term\" title=\"kind - kubernetes in docker\" data-hover-title=\"kind\"\u003ekind\u003c/a\u003e of faithfulness? What\ngave these heros of the faith the peace to face death with a song? Would\nI, today right now, if I was going to be executed for my faith (real reality in\nmany parts of the world) would I sing \u0026ldquo;Amazing Grace\u0026rdquo; while my physical body\nwas tortured to death\u0026hellip; I can\u0026rsquo;t say I know the answer to this, but the\naccounts of these martyrs is at least encouraging that God has developed the\nfaith of others to such a degree that physical torture cannot break them from\ntheir communion with God.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"admonition note\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"admonition-title\"\u003eWhat about NOT death...\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWe all face trials of different kinds every day, and in the face of those trials what does faithfulness look like?\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003ch2 id=\"knowledge\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"heading-wear-glyph\"\u003eKnowledge\u003c/span\u003e \u003ca href=\"#knowledge\" class=\"heading-anchor\"\u003e#\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBack to Jesus for a second\u0026hellip; A confession of mine is that I\u0026rsquo;ve lowkey felt\nlike Jesus, as truly human, had a leg up on us when it comes to remaining\nfaithful to the Father\u0026rsquo;s will\u0026hellip;.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAs a human he walked through life in deep communion\nwith the Father, and he \u003cem\u003eknows\u003c/em\u003e his place as the Author of creation, the one\nwho holds all things together. So I\u0026rsquo;ve often struggled with the thought \u0026ldquo;of\ncourse Jesus is calm in X or isn\u0026rsquo;t worried about Y\u0026hellip; He knows he\u0026rsquo;s God, he\nknows the plan, and that \u003cem\u003eknowledge\u003c/em\u003e must do something for enabling the kind\nof calm faith we see in the person, in the human, Jesus Christ.\u0026rdquo;\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"admonition warning\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"admonition-title\"\u003eWarning\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eJesus \u003cem\u003eknows\u003c/em\u003e that if he commanded a mountain to cast itself into the sea, that it would\u0026hellip; So did Jesus have \u003cem\u003efaith\u003c/em\u003e or \u003cem\u003eknowledge\u003c/em\u003e?\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003ch2 id=\"almost-there\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"heading-wear-glyph\"\u003eAlmost There\u003c/span\u003e \u003ca href=\"#almost-there\" class=\"heading-anchor\"\u003e#\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI think he had both, and part of living a life of faith is \u003cem\u003eremembering\u003c/em\u003e all the\nthings that are true about Jesus\u0026hellip; If I only say he\u0026rsquo;s faithful and good to me\nbecause the Bible says so, well that\u0026rsquo;s not a lot for me as a real physical\nperson to live my life on\u0026hellip; I live my life based on experience like anyone\nelse, and experience gives anyone a unique kind of knowledge - it\u0026rsquo;s more than\nreading something in a book, when you learn something by living through it the\nmessage is deeply engrained, it passes through your brain and into your\nbeing\u0026hellip; ya know what I\u0026rsquo;m saying? There\u0026rsquo;s things we know and then there\u0026rsquo;s\nthings \u003cem\u003ewe KNOW\u003c/em\u003e.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBut for this to happen we have to acknowledge God through it\nall\u0026hellip; whatever \u0026ldquo;it all\u0026rdquo; is certainly affects what \u0026ldquo;acknowledge God\u0026rdquo; means, but\nfor Jesus he certainly gave God the Father every ounce of glory and credit\nduring his life, and that acknowledgement I believe is a part of Jesus\u0026rsquo; life of\nFaith\u0026hellip; so too in my life do I try to practice this perspective - giving\nthanks to God for all things given and taken away\u0026hellip; This acknowledgement\npresses the truth about God\u0026rsquo;s goodness and faithfulness to me deeper and deeper\ninto my being. It is Jesus being tender to my heart and shepherding me into\nbeing more like him\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eJesus \u003cem\u003eknew\u003c/em\u003e everything true about his power because of his experience and\nidentity. I would certainly claim to know it as well - but \u003cem\u003emy\u003c/em\u003e knowledge of\nJesus\u0026rsquo; power is not \u003cem\u003ehis\u003c/em\u003e knowledge of his own power. So does any knowledge I\nhave or lack affect the reality of Jesus\u0026rsquo; faithfulness?\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"admonition danger\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"admonition-title\"\u003eno...\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003ch2 id=\"the-point\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"heading-wear-glyph\"\u003eThe Point\u003c/span\u003e \u003ca href=\"#the-point\" class=\"heading-anchor\"\u003e#\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is finally my point\u0026hellip; I\u0026rsquo;m going through a trial, losing something\nimportant to me that\u0026rsquo;s valuable and a source of provision for my family in many\nways. But at the same time\u0026hellip; God has been so good to me, and I have so much\nexperience and knowledge of that goodness\u0026hellip; I\u0026rsquo;ve been complimented by a few\npeople in this situation about how I\u0026rsquo;m handling it - cause anyone would be\npretty justified in being angry in what I\u0026rsquo;m walking through\u0026hellip; And I\u0026rsquo;m\nstruggling with many emotions:\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"admonition note\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"admonition-title\"\u003ebut ultimately\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI know God provides for me\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eand losing a massive source of that provision isn\u0026rsquo;t the end of the world because\nnot only do I know that God provides for me, but he already has provided in\nsuch a way that this trial isn\u0026rsquo;t devastating. It\u0026rsquo;s annoying of course, but his\ngoodness to me so outshines the crappiness of this situation that I can\u0026rsquo;t help\nbut overflow with \u0026ldquo;this sucks but God\u0026rsquo;s stil good, and has been and will be\u0026rdquo;.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe thing is that the people around me do not have all the same \u003cem\u003eknowledge\u003c/em\u003e as\nme that I\u0026rsquo;ve gained through \u003cem\u003eexperience\u003c/em\u003e and acknowledgment of God\u0026rsquo;s\ngoodness\u0026hellip; Few people see all the details of how God has and is protecting me\nand my family that to the outsider of my life, witnessing what\u0026rsquo;s happening, I\nmight look like that martyr being burned alive\u0026hellip;. Of course that\u0026rsquo;s a little\nhyperbolic, but I don\u0026rsquo;t know the lives of all those martyrs - God probably\nworked in them for so long and in such deep ways that not only the reality of a\ntrial, but the reality of physical pain, just washes over them\u0026hellip;\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"admonition note\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"admonition-title\"\u003eThat's how I feel\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003emy trial here sucks, I even want to complain about it (and will probably) but ultimately God is so good to me, and I\u0026rsquo;ll make that known to everyone around me.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt might look miraculous to them, and it doesn\u0026rsquo;t mean it\u0026rsquo;s\nnot, because it\u0026rsquo;s God who provided for me in the first place, but my place of\nserenity in the wake of trial comes from Jesus pressing the reality of his\nfaithfulness into my life, and now that I have a backdrop of years of goodness\nfrom him - how can any one silly trial in this life send me anywhere but closer\nto my Heavenly Father as I trust him for provision.\u003c/p\u003e\n", "content_text": "\n# A Question\n\nWhat does it mean to be \"faithful\"? I wrestle with this question in various\ncontexts pretty regularly - mostly because God has been so ridiculously stupid\ngood to me that I feel compelled to ask daily \"am I being faithful with the\ngifts God has given me?\"\n\nThere's a lot of places to go from this starting point, but there's some events\nhappening in my life that are giving me perspective on Jesus' faithfulness to\nthe Father's will and what it implies for my own life of faithfulness and\nsteadfastness to the Lord.\n\n## Faithfulness\n\nHow do I be more like Jesus (as a human), and how do I more or less copy his\nfaithfulness to God in the wake of trial. I've certainly given some amount of\nthought to my own ability to be faithful in the worst potential circumstance of\nstraight up physical execution: martyrdom... In Fox's Book of Martyrs there's\naccounts of Christians through the ages singing hymns while being\nburned alive for their faith... What leads to that kind of faithfulness? What\ngave these heros of the faith the peace to face death with a song? Would\nI, today right now, if I was going to be executed for my faith (real reality in\nmany parts of the world) would I sing \"Amazing Grace\" while my physical body\nwas tortured to death... I can't say I know the answer to this, but the\naccounts of these martyrs is at least encouraging that God has developed the\nfaith of others to such a degree that physical torture cannot break them from\ntheir communion with God.\n\n!!! note \"What about NOT death...\"\n \n We all face trials of different kinds every day, and in the face of those trials what does faithfulness look like?\n\n## Knowledge\n\nBack to Jesus for a second... A confession of mine is that I've lowkey felt\nlike Jesus, as truly human, had a leg up on us when it comes to remaining\nfaithful to the Father's will.... \n\nAs a human he walked through life in deep communion\nwith the Father, and he _knows_ his place as the Author of creation, the one\nwho holds all things together. So I've often struggled with the thought \"of\ncourse Jesus is calm in X or isn't worried about Y... He knows he's God, he\nknows the plan, and that _knowledge_ must do something for enabling the kind\nof calm faith we see in the person, in the human, Jesus Christ.\"\n\n!!! warning \"\"\n\n Jesus _knows_ that if he commanded a mountain to cast itself into the sea, that it would... So did Jesus have _faith_ or _knowledge_?\n\n## Almost There\n\nI think he had both, and part of living a life of faith is _remembering_ all the\nthings that are true about Jesus... If I only say he's faithful and good to me\nbecause the Bible says so, well that's not a lot for me as a real physical\nperson to live my life on... I live my life based on experience like anyone\nelse, and experience gives anyone a unique kind of knowledge - it's more than\nreading something in a book, when you learn something by living through it the\nmessage is deeply engrained, it passes through your brain and into your\nbeing... ya know what I'm saying? There's things we know and then there's\nthings _we KNOW_. \n\nBut for this to happen we have to acknowledge God through it\nall... whatever \"it all\" is certainly affects what \"acknowledge God\" means, but\nfor Jesus he certainly gave God the Father every ounce of glory and credit\nduring his life, and that acknowledgement I believe is a part of Jesus' life of\nFaith... so too in my life do I try to practice this perspective - giving\nthanks to God for all things given and taken away... This acknowledgement\npresses the truth about God's goodness and faithfulness to me deeper and deeper\ninto my being. It is Jesus being tender to my heart and shepherding me into\nbeing more like him\n\nJesus _knew_ everything true about his power because of his experience and\nidentity. I would certainly claim to know it as well - but _my_ knowledge of\nJesus' power is not _his_ knowledge of his own power. So does any knowledge I\nhave or lack affect the reality of Jesus' faithfulness?\n\n!!! danger \"no...\"\n\n## The Point\n\nThis is finally my point... I'm going through a trial, losing something\nimportant to me that's valuable and a source of provision for my family in many\nways. But at the same time... God has been so good to me, and I have so much\nexperience and knowledge of that goodness... I've been complimented by a few\npeople in this situation about how I'm handling it - cause anyone would be\npretty justified in being angry in what I'm walking through... And I'm\nstruggling with many emotions:\n\n!!! note \"but ultimately\"\n\n I know God provides for me\n\nand losing a massive source of that provision isn't the end of the world because\nnot only do I know that God provides for me, but he already has provided in\nsuch a way that this trial isn't devastating. It's annoying of course, but his\ngoodness to me so outshines the crappiness of this situation that I can't help\nbut overflow with \"this sucks but God's stil good, and has been and will be\". \n\nThe thing is that the people around me do not have all the same _knowledge_ as\nme that I've gained through _experience_ and acknowledgment of God's\ngoodness... Few people see all the details of how God has and is protecting me\nand my family that to the outsider of my life, witnessing what's happening, I\nmight look like that martyr being burned alive.... Of course that's a little\nhyperbolic, but I don't know the lives of all those martyrs - God probably\nworked in them for so long and in such deep ways that not only the reality of a\ntrial, but the reality of physical pain, just washes over them... \n\n!!! note \"That's how I feel\"\n\n my trial here sucks, I even want to complain about it (and will probably) but ultimately God is so good to me, and I'll make that known to everyone around me. \n\nIt might look miraculous to them, and it doesn't mean it's\nnot, because it's God who provided for me in the first place, but my place of\nserenity in the wake of trial comes from Jesus pressing the reality of his\nfaithfulness into my life, and now that I have a backdrop of years of goodness\nfrom him - how can any one silly trial in this life send me anywhere but closer\nto my Heavenly Father as I trust him for provision.\n\n\n\n", "summary": "What does it mean to be \"faithful\"? I wrestle with this question in various contexts pretty regularly - mostly because God has been so ridiculously stupid...", "date_published": "2025-07-31T05:58:52Z", "date_modified": "2025-07-31T05:58:52Z", "authors": [ { "name": "Nic Payne", "url": "https://pype.dev" } ], "tags": [ "reflection", "faith" ] }, { "id": "https://pype.dev/what-is-a-right/", "url": "https://pype.dev/what-is-a-right/", "title": "What Is A Right?", "content_html": "\u003ch2 id=\"intro\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"heading-wear-glyph\"\u003eIntro\u003c/span\u003e \u003ca href=\"#intro\" class=\"heading-anchor\"\u003e#\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI saw something this morning that \u003ca href=\"/kind/\" class=\"glossary-term\" title=\"kind - kubernetes in docker\" data-hover-title=\"kind\"\u003ekind\u003c/a\u003e of irk\u0026rsquo;d me so I thought I\u0026rsquo;d write some\nthoughts on it\u0026hellip; It was one of those maps of countries and the results of a\npoll. The poll what \u0026ldquo;Is food a human right?\u0026rdquo; and like every country except USA\nvoted \u0026ldquo;yes\u0026rdquo; and we voted \u0026ldquo;no\u0026rdquo; - ie. Americans hate people\u0026hellip; obviously\u0026hellip;\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eObviously that\u0026rsquo;s ridiculous\u0026hellip; or it obvious to me anyways\u0026hellip; But the\nridiculousness of the graphic aside, it\u0026rsquo;s the baseline question that got me\nthinking\u0026hellip;\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"admonition warning\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"admonition-title\"\u003eWhat is a right?\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003ch2 id=\"things-to-be-protected\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"heading-wear-glyph\"\u003eThings to be Protected\u003c/span\u003e \u003ca href=\"#things-to-be-protected\" class=\"heading-anchor\"\u003e#\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe thing is - you \u003cem\u003ecan not\u003c/em\u003e be \u003cstrong\u003eentitled\u003c/strong\u003e to the labor of another human\nbeing\u0026hellip; I think this is axiomatic, and I know there are large groups of people\nwho disagree, but I would call every one of those groups \u003cstrong\u003einhumane\u003c/strong\u003e.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"admonition danger\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"admonition-title\"\u003eMy Right Trumps Your Freedom\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf my right requires that another person works, then that person is not\nfree\u0026hellip; sounds familiar, ya?\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSo with the understanding that I have ZERO regard for a worldview that thinks\nsome humans can force labor on another group of humans - let\u0026rsquo;s talk about what\na right is.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA right is something all humans have the ability to do AND at the same time is\na thing that CAN BE defended\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"admonition note\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"admonition-title\"\u003eUltimately, rights are just force\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNote I\u0026rsquo;m not saying all humans have to agree on the thing, nor am I saying that\nit MUST BE defended to be a right, but if something can forcefully be taken away\nthen I think the verbiage of calling it a \u0026ldquo;right\u0026rdquo; is nothing more than\nemotional argumentation.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI want all people to have clean drinking water, the ability to work and make a\nlife for themselves, the freedom to express creativity, and also food to eat\u0026hellip;\nI want these things for all humans, but calling anything of them a \u0026ldquo;right\u0026rdquo; on\ntheir own is either deeply misguided or, as noted above, axiomatic to a\nworldview that is essentially pro-slavery. The simpleton thinking about\n\u0026ldquo;rights\u0026rdquo; is doing the world, and our country specifically no favors in public\ndiscourse\u0026hellip;\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"admonition danger\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"admonition-title\"\u003eFor Example\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI hear that Trump\u0026rsquo;s administration is \u0026ldquo;taking away basic human rights\u0026rdquo; and\nI\u0026rsquo;ve had the privilege of asking a few people what they mean\u0026hellip; Either nothing\nor abortion. The nothing crowd is led astray by a misguided narrative, and\nthe abortion crowd simply denies the humanity of the unborn. They would\ndeny the humanity of any group of humans they can eliminate or enslave for\ntheir own gain. Ironically it\u0026rsquo;s in restoring the idea of liberty from the\ngovernment that I think this WH administration is actually doing a good job of\ndefending huamn rights - and by civil necessity that means the rights of\ncitizens primarily.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003ch2 id=\"might-makes-right\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"heading-wear-glyph\"\u003eMight Makes Right\u003c/span\u003e \u003ca href=\"#might-makes-right\" class=\"heading-anchor\"\u003e#\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eUnfortunately, a reality of our broken world is that \u003cem\u003emight makes right\u003c/em\u003e. ie.\nthe Strong make the rules for the Weak, and if the Strong don\u0026rsquo;t protect the\nWeak\u0026rsquo;s ability, say to eat, then the language of a \u0026ldquo;right to food\u0026rdquo; has\nabsolutely zero weight.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eLet me say plainly that I don\u0026rsquo;t subscribe to a worldview where \u0026ldquo;might makes\nright\u0026rdquo; is appropriate - I believe Jesus will come back to judge the living and\nthe dead, and that his people (ie. the Church) should work the world for the\nbetterment of all people. But while I believe this and live my life in this\ndirection - I recognize the functional reality that the only things you \u0026ldquo;have a\nright to\u0026rdquo; are the things you can protect.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is one reason I\u0026rsquo;ve come to appreciate America so much. It isn\u0026rsquo;t that our\ncountry demonstrates every moral conviction I have, or even that it was founded\non \u0026ldquo;Christian Principals\u0026rdquo; (history is hard), but our country was founded on a\nprincipal that all people have inalienable rights\u0026hellip; But those rights are\nrecognized in our country because our country can and does defend those liberties.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf no one will defend you, you functionally have a right to nothing - to argue\notherwise is to be needlessly pedantic in a conversation that must revolve around\n\u003cem\u003epracticality\u003c/em\u003e to be useful\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"admonition note\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"admonition-title\"\u003eNote\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt\u0026rsquo;s high-time some political activists start thinking pragmatically\ninstead of spewing emotional language into a field they probably have no\nbusiness being in (besides those sweet sweet lobby-dollars of course)\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003ch2 id=\"fin\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"heading-wear-glyph\"\u003eFin\u003c/span\u003e \u003ca href=\"#fin\" class=\"heading-anchor\"\u003e#\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSo\u0026hellip; what\u0026rsquo;s the point? I think I\u0026rsquo;m saying we should just speak honestly about\nour world, because emotional and vague language is actually not helpful\u0026hellip; To\nthat end, honestly many many people need to practice silence in the public\nsector - the internet has made everyone an expert commentator on the\ncurrent thing, and it\u0026rsquo;s destroying actual rhetoric.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnd although I can\u0026rsquo;t say \u0026ldquo;all humans have a right to food\u0026rdquo; because not all\nhumans have their ability to obtain and eat food protected, I absolutely\nbelieve all humans should have this ability of theirs protected. This\nconclusion can\u0026rsquo;t be expressed in a simple map created undoubtedly to\nperpetuate political anger and division\u0026hellip;\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSo go out there and protect the weaker person\u0026rsquo;s \u0026ldquo;right\u0026rdquo; to whatever you feel is\nbeing wrongly taken from them - but if you can\u0026rsquo;t protect it then either vote\nfor someone who will or frankly quit talking\u0026hellip;\u003c/p\u003e\n", "content_text": "\n## Intro\n\nI saw something this morning that kind of irk'd me so I thought I'd write some\nthoughts on it... It was one of those maps of countries and the results of a\npoll. The poll what \"Is food a human right?\" and like every country except USA\nvoted \"yes\" and we voted \"no\" - ie. Americans hate people... obviously...\n\nObviously that's ridiculous... or it obvious to me anyways... But the\nridiculousness of the graphic aside, it's the baseline question that got me\nthinking... \n\n!!! warning \"What is a right?\"\n\n## Things to be Protected\n\nThe thing is - you _can not_ be **entitled** to the labor of another human\nbeing... I think this is axiomatic, and I know there are large groups of people\nwho disagree, but I would call every one of those groups __inhumane__.\n\n!!! danger \"My Right Trumps Your Freedom\"\n\n If my right requires that another person works, then that person is not\n free... sounds familiar, ya?\n\nSo with the understanding that I have ZERO regard for a worldview that thinks\nsome humans can force labor on another group of humans - let's talk about what\na right is.\n\nA right is something all humans have the ability to do AND at the same time is\na thing that CAN BE defended\n\n!!! note \"Ultimately, rights are just force\"\n\nNote I'm not saying all humans have to agree on the thing, nor am I saying that\nit MUST BE defended to be a right, but if something can forcefully be taken away\nthen I think the verbiage of calling it a \"right\" is nothing more than\nemotional argumentation.\n\nI want all people to have clean drinking water, the ability to work and make a\nlife for themselves, the freedom to express creativity, and also food to eat...\nI want these things for all humans, but calling anything of them a \"right\" on\ntheir own is either deeply misguided or, as noted above, axiomatic to a\nworldview that is essentially pro-slavery. The simpleton thinking about\n\"rights\" is doing the world, and our country specifically no favors in public\ndiscourse...\n\n!!! danger \"For Example\"\n\n I hear that Trump's administration is \"taking away basic human rights\" and\n I've had the privilege of asking a few people what they mean... Either nothing\n or abortion. The nothing crowd is led astray by a misguided narrative, and\n the abortion crowd simply denies the humanity of the unborn. They would\n deny the humanity of any group of humans they can eliminate or enslave for\n their own gain. Ironically it's in restoring the idea of liberty from the\n government that I think this WH administration is actually doing a good job of\n defending huamn rights - and by civil necessity that means the rights of\n citizens primarily.\n\n## Might Makes Right\n\nUnfortunately, a reality of our broken world is that _might makes right_. ie.\nthe Strong make the rules for the Weak, and if the Strong don't protect the\nWeak's ability, say to eat, then the language of a \"right to food\" has\nabsolutely zero weight.\n\nLet me say plainly that I don't subscribe to a worldview where \"might makes\nright\" is appropriate - I believe Jesus will come back to judge the living and\nthe dead, and that his people (ie. the Church) should work the world for the\nbetterment of all people. But while I believe this and live my life in this\ndirection - I recognize the functional reality that the only things you \"have a\nright to\" are the things you can protect.\n\nThis is one reason I've come to appreciate America so much. It isn't that our\ncountry demonstrates every moral conviction I have, or even that it was founded\non \"Christian Principals\" (history is hard), but our country was founded on a\nprincipal that all people have inalienable rights... But those rights are\nrecognized in our country because our country can and does defend those liberties.\n\nIf no one will defend you, you functionally have a right to nothing - to argue\notherwise is to be needlessly pedantic in a conversation that must revolve around\n_practicality_ to be useful\n\n!!! note \"\"\n\n It's high-time some political activists start thinking pragmatically\n instead of spewing emotional language into a field they probably have no\n business being in (besides those sweet sweet lobby-dollars of course)\n\n## Fin\n\nSo... what's the point? I think I'm saying we should just speak honestly about\nour world, because emotional and vague language is actually not helpful... To\nthat end, honestly many many people need to practice silence in the public\nsector - the internet has made everyone an expert commentator on the \ncurrent thing, and it's destroying actual rhetoric.\n\nAnd although I can't say \"all humans have a right to food\" because not all\nhumans have their ability to obtain and eat food protected, I absolutely\nbelieve all humans should have this ability of theirs protected. This\nconclusion can't be expressed in a simple map created undoubtedly to\nperpetuate political anger and division...\n\nSo go out there and protect the weaker person's \"right\" to whatever you feel is\nbeing wrongly taken from them - but if you can't protect it then either vote\nfor someone who will or frankly quit talking...\n", "summary": "I saw something this morning that kind of irk'd me so I thought I'd write some thoughts on it... It was one of those maps of countries and the results of a...", "date_published": "2025-07-28T06:31:11Z", "date_modified": "2025-07-28T06:31:11Z", "authors": [ { "name": "Nic Payne", "url": "https://pype.dev" } ], "tags": [ "reflection" ] }, { "id": "https://pype.dev/god-provides-when-he-takes-away/", "url": "https://pype.dev/god-provides-when-he-takes-away/", "title": "God Provides When He Takes Away", "content_html": "\u003cp\u003eThis post is meant to serve as a reminder that God\u0026rsquo;s provision is about more\nthan the chronology of things happening\u0026hellip; For example he brought me a job when\nI lost my main one - he just brought that to me before I lost it\u0026hellip; the timing\nof that event make it no less significant or caused by God\u0026hellip; He answered the\nprayer I hadn\u0026rsquo;t uttered yet when it comes to providing for my family\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI believe one way God provides in the midst of taking things away is through\nliving a life of daily submission to him. The idea that it goes:\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003col\u003e\n\u003cli\u003esomething bad happens\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003epray for protection\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003emaybe something happens and the reality of what happens affects my view of God\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003c/ol\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eis silly, selfish, and misguided.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eGod sometimes provides by gifting you in a way that ends up protecting you\nlater - but to make the claim the gift was honed solely by you, or worse - a\nproduct of yourself, is to make a grave theological error\u0026hellip; God\u0026rsquo;s provision is\na daily journey with him, not a hail mary prayer for a last second safety net\u0026hellip;\u003c/p\u003e\n", "content_text": "\nThis post is meant to serve as a reminder that God's provision is about more\nthan the chronology of things happening... For example he brought me a job when\nI lost my main one - he just brought that to me before I lost it... the timing\nof that event make it no less significant or caused by God... He answered the\nprayer I hadn't uttered yet when it comes to providing for my family\n\nI believe one way God provides in the midst of taking things away is through\nliving a life of daily submission to him. The idea that it goes:\n1. something bad happens\n2. pray for protection\n3. maybe something happens and the reality of what happens affects my view of God\n\nis silly, selfish, and misguided.\n\nGod sometimes provides by gifting you in a way that ends up protecting you\nlater - but to make the claim the gift was honed solely by you, or worse - a\nproduct of yourself, is to make a grave theological error... God's provision is\na daily journey with him, not a hail mary prayer for a last second safety net...\n", "summary": "This post is meant to serve as a reminder that God's provision is about more than the chronology of things happening... For example he brought me a job when...", "date_published": "2025-07-25T05:52:37Z", "date_modified": "2025-07-25T05:52:37Z", "authors": [ { "name": "Nic Payne", "url": "https://pype.dev" } ], "tags": [ "reflection", "faith" ] }, { "id": "https://pype.dev/thoughts-720/", "url": "https://pype.dev/thoughts-720/", "title": "💭 Genesis 1 and Its ANE Polemic, Part 2 - Dr. Michael Heiser", "content_html": "\u003ca href=\"https://drmsh.com/genesis-1-and-its-ane-polemic-part-2/\"\u003e\n \u003cimg\n src=\"https://shots.wayl.one/shot/?url=https://drmsh.com/genesis-1-and-its-ane-polemic-part-2/\u0026height=450\u0026width=800\u0026scaled_width=800\u0026scaled_height=450\u0026selectors=\"\n alt=\"shot of post - Genesis 1 and Its ANE Polemic, Part 2 - Dr. Michael Heiser\"\n height=450\n width=800\n \u003e\n\u003c/a\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHere\u0026rsquo;s my thought on \u003ca href=\"https://drmsh.com/genesis-1-and-its-ane-polemic-part-2/\"\u003eGenesis 1 and Its ANE Polemic, Part 2 - Dr. Michael Heiser\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI\u0026rsquo;m preparing for a conversation on Genesis 1 this morning, and so I of course wanted to read through a few of Mike\u0026rsquo;s old posts\u0026hellip; I\u0026rsquo;m going to write a longer post about the impact Mike had on my life\u0026hellip; he died in February of 2023 of pancreatic cancer and everytime I visit his site I get a little teary eyed\u0026hellip;\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe guy brought SO MUCH clarity to me regarding the Bible and some of the silly ideas I had about i growing up (and indeed MOST of the people in America that I have ever talked to about the Bible also have).\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSo this thought is a reminder to me to not forget to write more about him - Jesus touched so many people through Mike\u0026rsquo;s ministry of studying the Bible for what it is, not what the arrogant Western mind wants it to be.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"admonition note\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"admonition-title\"\u003eNote\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is one of [[ my-thoughts ]]. I picked this up from \u003ca href=\"https://waylonwalker.com\"\u003eWaylon Walker\u003c/a\u003e(\u003ca href=\"https://thoughts.waylonwalker.com\"\u003ehttps://thoughts.waylonwalker.com\u003c/a\u003e). It\u0026rsquo;s a short note that I make about someone else\u0026rsquo;s content online. Learn more about the process \u003ca href=\"/thoughts/\" class=\"wikilink\" data-title=\"Thoughts\" data-description=\"My thoughts are found at my thoughts feed\" data-date=\"2025-06-09\" data-preview=\"My thoughts are found at my thoughts feed\"\u003eThoughts\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n", "content_text": "\n\u003ca href=\"https://drmsh.com/genesis-1-and-its-ane-polemic-part-2/\"\u003e\n \u003cimg\n src=\"https://shots.wayl.one/shot/?url=https://drmsh.com/genesis-1-and-its-ane-polemic-part-2/\u0026height=450\u0026width=800\u0026scaled_width=800\u0026scaled_height=450\u0026selectors=\"\n alt=\"shot of post - Genesis 1 and Its ANE Polemic, Part 2 - Dr. Michael Heiser\"\n height=450\n width=800\n \u003e\n\u003c/a\u003e\n\nHere's my thought on \u003ca href=\"https://drmsh.com/genesis-1-and-its-ane-polemic-part-2/\"\u003eGenesis 1 and Its ANE Polemic, Part 2 - Dr. Michael Heiser\u003c/a\u003e\n\n---\n\nI'm preparing for a conversation on Genesis 1 this morning, and so I of course wanted to read through a few of Mike's old posts... I'm going to write a longer post about the impact Mike had on my life... he died in February of 2023 of pancreatic cancer and everytime I visit his site I get a little teary eyed...\n\nThe guy brought SO MUCH clarity to me regarding the Bible and some of the silly ideas I had about i growing up (and indeed MOST of the people in America that I have ever talked to about the Bible also have).\n\nSo this thought is a reminder to me to not forget to write more about him - Jesus touched so many people through Mike's ministry of studying the Bible for what it is, not what the arrogant Western mind wants it to be.\n\n---\n\n!!! note\n This is one of [[ my-thoughts ]]. I picked this up from [Waylon Walker](https://waylonwalker.com)(https://thoughts.waylonwalker.com). It's a short note that I make about someone else's content online. Learn more about the process \u003ca href=\"/thoughts/\" class=\"wikilink\" data-title=\"Thoughts\" data-description=\"My thoughts are found at my thoughts feed\" data-date=\"2025-06-09\"\u003eThoughts\u003c/a\u003e\n", "summary": "I'm preparing for a conversation on Genesis 1 this morning, and so I of course wanted to read through a few of Mike's ol", "date_published": "2025-06-25T11:29:10Z", "date_modified": "2025-06-25T11:29:10Z", "authors": [ { "name": "Nic Payne", "url": "https://pype.dev" } ], "tags": [ "reflection", "heiser", "ane", "genesis", "todo", "thoughts" ] }, { "id": "https://pype.dev/what-are-the-rewards-in-heaven/", "url": "https://pype.dev/what-are-the-rewards-in-heaven/", "title": "What Are The Rewards In Heaven?", "content_html": "\u003ch1 id=\"intro\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"heading-wear-glyph\"\u003eIntro\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/h1\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI came across an article on the Bible Project on what it means to \u0026ldquo;store up\ntreasures in Heaven\u0026rdquo; and it brought some clarity to the meaning of this\nteaching for me\u0026hellip;\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI\u0026rsquo;ve been walking with Jesus for around 2 decades now, and he\u0026rsquo;s taught me a lot\nabout life, love, and grace. I still feel the battle inside myself when faced\nwith a decision where I can act more or less in line with Jesus\u0026rsquo; desire and\nwill or I can make a choice that\u0026rsquo;s about me\u0026hellip; Anytime I\u0026rsquo;m able to choose the\npath I know is his, then praise the Lord and he\u0026rsquo;s been faithful to change me\nmore and more into his image and likeness.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003ch2 id=\"tldr-the-treasures\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"heading-wear-glyph\"\u003eTLDR - The Treasures\u003c/span\u003e \u003ca href=\"#tldr-the-treasures\" class=\"heading-anchor\"\u003e#\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe article goes on to argue that the rewards we are promised in Heaven, the\nones we are supposed to \u0026ldquo;store up\u0026rdquo;, are the rewards of living like Jesus today.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"admonition note\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"admonition-title\"\u003eNote\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe reward becomes greater as our will is forged to align with the Lord. As\nwe grow in holiness, making holy decisions and living a holy life \u003cem\u003ebecomes\u003c/em\u003e the\nreward we store up for heaven\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003ch1 id=\"reflection\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"heading-wear-glyph\"\u003eReflection\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/h1\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe idea that the perspective of the rewards change as we change is actually\nnot that ground breaking to me\u0026hellip; Growth leads to perspective changes in other\naspects of life.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSay for my work, as I get more experience and learn what kinds of problems\n\u003cem\u003etend\u003c/em\u003e to arise, I can appreciate troubleshooting tactics I may have not\nconsidered before, approach problems with a different point of view, etc. And\nit\u0026rsquo;s in this growth that I can appreciate things like searching deep in logs\nfor 1 piece of info, or deciding to re-run something that takes hours and\nappreciating that it\u0026rsquo;s the best thing to do when I\u0026rsquo;d rather try to slam changes\nin that \u003cem\u003emight\u003c/em\u003e work or might make it worse\u0026hellip; The growth brings maturity and\ndeeper understanding to the problems.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHow about with children? As they grow and mature they learn more about the\nworld\u0026hellip; They appreciate things they didn\u0026rsquo;t like before - like having been\ndisciplined as a child or being taught a hard lesson that pays off down the\nline. Again, the growth brings a perspective change.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnd so as I journey in my faith this quote from the article resonated with me\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"admonition note\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"admonition-title\"\u003eNote\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eJesus’ exhortation to store up for yourselves treasures in Heaven is an invitation to taste, right now, what life will be like in the renewed world later on.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eJesus brought Heaven back to earth, and invites his chosen people to live in Heaven today regardless of where we live on earth.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"admonition note\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"admonition-title\"\u003eNote\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAs we mature in the Lord, the things of God become more valuable to us, and these rewards not only become more apparent, but they become easier to appreciate\u0026hellip; ie. we store them up as we experience Heaven on earth\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003ch1 id=\"link\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"heading-wear-glyph\"\u003eLink\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/h1\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"https://bibleproject.com/articles/what-are-rewards-heaven-bible\"\u003elink to article\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n", "content_text": "\n# Intro \n\nI came across an article on the Bible Project on what it means to \"store up\ntreasures in Heaven\" and it brought some clarity to the meaning of this\nteaching for me...\n\nI've been walking with Jesus for around 2 decades now, and he's taught me a lot\nabout life, love, and grace. I still feel the battle inside myself when faced\nwith a decision where I can act more or less in line with Jesus' desire and\nwill or I can make a choice that's about me... Anytime I'm able to choose the\npath I know is his, then praise the Lord and he's been faithful to change me\nmore and more into his image and likeness.\n\n## TLDR - The Treasures\n\nThe article goes on to argue that the rewards we are promised in Heaven, the\nones we are supposed to \"store up\", are the rewards of living like Jesus today.\n\n!!! note \"\"\n The reward becomes greater as our will is forged to align with the Lord. As\n we grow in holiness, making holy decisions and living a holy life _becomes_ the\n reward we store up for heaven\n\n# Reflection\n\nThe idea that the perspective of the rewards change as we change is actually\nnot that ground breaking to me... Growth leads to perspective changes in other\naspects of life.\n\nSay for my work, as I get more experience and learn what kinds of problems\n_tend_ to arise, I can appreciate troubleshooting tactics I may have not\nconsidered before, approach problems with a different point of view, etc. And\nit's in this growth that I can appreciate things like searching deep in logs\nfor 1 piece of info, or deciding to re-run something that takes hours and\nappreciating that it's the best thing to do when I'd rather try to slam changes\nin that _might_ work or might make it worse... The growth brings maturity and\ndeeper understanding to the problems.\n\nHow about with children? As they grow and mature they learn more about the\nworld... They appreciate things they didn't like before - like having been\ndisciplined as a child or being taught a hard lesson that pays off down the\nline. Again, the growth brings a perspective change.\n\nAnd so as I journey in my faith this quote from the article resonated with me\n\n!!! note \"\"\n Jesus’ exhortation to store up for yourselves treasures in Heaven is an invitation to taste, right now, what life will be like in the renewed world later on.\n\nJesus brought Heaven back to earth, and invites his chosen people to live in Heaven today regardless of where we live on earth. \n\n!!! note \"\"\n As we mature in the Lord, the things of God become more valuable to us, and these rewards not only become more apparent, but they become easier to appreciate... ie. we store them up as we experience Heaven on earth\n\n\n# Link\n\n[link to article](https://bibleproject.com/articles/what-are-rewards-heaven-bible)\n", "summary": "I came across an article on the Bible Project on what it means to \"store up treasures in Heaven\" and it brought some clarity to the meaning of this teaching...", "date_published": "2025-06-20T06:23:05Z", "date_modified": "2025-06-20T06:23:05Z", "authors": [ { "name": "Nic Payne", "url": "https://pype.dev" } ], "tags": [ "bible-project", "faith", "reflection" ] }, { "id": "https://pype.dev/thoughts-709/", "url": "https://pype.dev/thoughts-709/", "title": "💭 pypeaday/whose-turn-is-it: Simple uv webapp to determine order…", "content_html": "\u003ca href=\"https://github.com/pypeaday/whose-turn-is-it\"\u003e\n \u003cimg\n src=\"https://shots.wayl.one/shot/?url=https://github.com/pypeaday/whose-turn-is-it\u0026height=450\u0026width=800\u0026scaled_width=800\u0026scaled_height=450\u0026selectors=\"\n alt=\"shot of post - pypeaday/whose-turn-is-it: Simple uv webapp to determine order fo players for an event\"\n height=450\n width=800\n \u003e\n\u003c/a\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHere\u0026rsquo;s my thought on \u003ca href=\"https://github.com/pypeaday/whose-turn-is-it\"\u003epypeaday/whose-turn-is-it: Simple uv webapp to determine order fo players for an event\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWe pray together as a family every night, but every single flipping night my daughter\u0026rsquo;s fight about the order we go in\u0026hellip; well, NO MORE!\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI built a simple \u003ca href=\"/uv/\" class=\"glossary-term\" title=\"uv by Astral.sh is one of the dopest python toolchain tools to ever exist\" data-hover-title=\"UV\"\u003euv\u003c/a\u003e fastapi app that randomly sorts a list from an environment var \u003ccode\u003ePLAYERS\u003c/code\u003e and presents it in the web page at \u003ccode\u003e/generate\u003c/code\u003e.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSuper easy \u003ccode\u003euv run\u003c/code\u003e at home\u0026hellip;\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI love that with enough knowledge, or the right \u003ca href=\"/kind/\" class=\"glossary-term\" title=\"kind - kubernetes in docker\" data-hover-title=\"kind\"\u003ekind\u003c/a\u003e of knowledge, you can build like anything you want!\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"admonition note\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"admonition-title\"\u003eNote\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is one of [[ my-thoughts ]]. I picked this up from \u003ca href=\"https://waylonwalker.com\"\u003eWaylon Walker\u003c/a\u003e(\u003ca href=\"https://thoughts.waylonwalker.com\"\u003ehttps://thoughts.waylonwalker.com\u003c/a\u003e). It\u0026rsquo;s a short note that I make about someone else\u0026rsquo;s content online. Learn more about the process \u003ca href=\"/thoughts/\" class=\"wikilink\" data-title=\"Thoughts\" data-description=\"My thoughts are found at my thoughts feed\" data-date=\"2025-06-09\" data-preview=\"My thoughts are found at my thoughts feed\"\u003eThoughts\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n", "content_text": "\n\u003ca href=\"https://github.com/pypeaday/whose-turn-is-it\"\u003e\n \u003cimg\n src=\"https://shots.wayl.one/shot/?url=https://github.com/pypeaday/whose-turn-is-it\u0026height=450\u0026width=800\u0026scaled_width=800\u0026scaled_height=450\u0026selectors=\"\n alt=\"shot of post - pypeaday/whose-turn-is-it: Simple uv webapp to determine order fo players for an event\"\n height=450\n width=800\n \u003e\n\u003c/a\u003e\n\nHere's my thought on \u003ca href=\"https://github.com/pypeaday/whose-turn-is-it\"\u003epypeaday/whose-turn-is-it: Simple uv webapp to determine order fo players for an event\u003c/a\u003e\n\n---\n\nWe pray together as a family every night, but every single flipping night my daughter's fight about the order we go in... well, NO MORE!\n\nI built a simple uv fastapi app that randomly sorts a list from an environment var `PLAYERS` and presents it in the web page at `/generate`.\n\nSuper easy `uv run` at home...\n\nI love that with enough knowledge, or the right kind of knowledge, you can build like anything you want!\n\n---\n\n!!! note\n This is one of [[ my-thoughts ]]. I picked this up from [Waylon Walker](https://waylonwalker.com)(https://thoughts.waylonwalker.com). It's a short note that I make about someone else's content online. Learn more about the process \u003ca href=\"/thoughts/\" class=\"wikilink\" data-title=\"Thoughts\" data-description=\"My thoughts are found at my thoughts feed\" data-date=\"2025-06-09\"\u003eThoughts\u003c/a\u003e\n", "summary": "We pray together as a family every night, but every single flipping night my daughter's fight about the order we go in..", "date_published": "2025-06-20T01:23:26Z", "date_modified": "2025-06-20T01:23:26Z", "authors": [ { "name": "Nic Payne", "url": "https://pype.dev" } ], "tags": [ "homelab", "tech", "reflection", "thoughts" ] }, { "id": "https://pype.dev/reflecting-on-bp-article-on-james-faith-and-works/", "url": "https://pype.dev/reflecting-on-bp-article-on-james-faith-and-works/", "title": "Reflecting on BP Article on James - Faith and Works", "content_html": "\u003ch1 id=\"intro\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"heading-wear-glyph\"\u003eIntro\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/h1\u003e\n\u003cblockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis started as one of [[my-thoughts]] and got long enough to warrant putting right in the blog\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFaith and works is a common point of conversation for Christians who like\ndebating things, and I\u0026rsquo;m at the point in my life where I\u0026rsquo;m \u003ca href=\"/kind/\" class=\"glossary-term\" title=\"kind - kubernetes in docker\" data-hover-title=\"kind\"\u003ekind\u003c/a\u003e of over the\ndebates and the simplistic thinking\u0026hellip;. but this morning I saw this article and\nwanted to give it a read\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003ch2 id=\"article\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"heading-wear-glyph\"\u003eArticle\u003c/span\u003e \u003ca href=\"#article\" class=\"heading-anchor\"\u003e#\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"https://bibleproject.com/articles/what-does-faith-without-works-dead-mean-james-214-26\"\u003eArticle Link\u003c/a\u003e - 11 minute read\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOne of the best pieces from the article is:\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"admonition info\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"admonition-title\"\u003eInfo\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eJames illuminates and clarifies our understanding of faith by bypassing\nquestions about whether one has (or does not have) faith and focusing instead\non whether a person’s faith is living or dead.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003ch2 id=\"reflection\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"heading-wear-glyph\"\u003eReflection\u003c/span\u003e \u003ca href=\"#reflection\" class=\"heading-anchor\"\u003e#\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis snippet isn\u0026rsquo;t incredibly profound on its own, but in my experience it hits hard\nI\u0026rsquo;ve been in many conversations about faith and works - and as I\u0026rsquo;ve written\nabout before in \u003ca href=\"/a-new-perspective-on-being-god-s-child/\" class=\"wikilink\" data-title=\"A New Perspective on Being God\u0026#39;s Child\" data-description=\"I was in men\u0026#39;s group the other day, and one of the things that came up almost inevitably is a debate between God\u0026#39;s sovereignty and predestination, and then...\" data-date=\"2025-05-18\" data-preview=\"I was in men\u0026#39;s group the other day, and one of the things that came up almost inevitably is a debate between God\u0026#39;s sovereignty and predestination, and then...\"\u003eA New Perspective on Being God's Child\u003c/a\u003e Christians\ntoday have a deep desire to put things into neat and simple boxes but this is\noften a mistake.\nAnd in the case of faith and works I think it\u0026rsquo;s just as\nprevalent for similar reasons I outlined in that post - a deep \u0026ldquo;need\u0026rdquo; to \u0026ldquo;fully\nunderstand\u0026rdquo; a system we participate in.\nHowever this usually comes lacking the accompanying nuance in understanding\n\u0026ldquo;works\u0026rdquo; and \u0026ldquo;works of the law\u0026rdquo; and \u0026ldquo;work in order to be saved\u0026rdquo;.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"admonition warning\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"admonition-title\"\u003eTo be very clear\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Bible is in no way contradictory in its teaching about faith and works\nand salvation regardless of how wrong someone gets it\u0026hellip; at the end of the day\nJesus picks who he picks. This in no way excuses the elect from performing good\nworks, but any good or bad \u0026ldquo;works\u0026rdquo; do nothing to change the reality of\nsalvation - the works merely reveal the truth\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI don\u0026rsquo;t see tension in faith and works - James\u0026rsquo; statement \u0026ldquo;faith without works\nis dead\u0026rdquo; is so simple to me\u0026hellip;\nJesus changes my life every day, and every day I make decisions based on that\nreality.\nIf I only talked about my faith, and never made a decision where I\nprioritized my faith over what I wanted - then do I really believe?\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"admonition danger\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"admonition-title\"\u003eThe answer is simple\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOf course not.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n", "content_text": "\n# Intro\n\n\u003e This started as one of [[my-thoughts]] and got long enough to warrant putting right in the blog\n\nFaith and works is a common point of conversation for Christians who like\ndebating things, and I'm at the point in my life where I'm kind of over the\ndebates and the simplistic thinking.... but this morning I saw this article and\nwanted to give it a read\n\n## Article\n\n[Article Link](https://bibleproject.com/articles/what-does-faith-without-works-dead-mean-james-214-26) - 11 minute read\n\nOne of the best pieces from the article is:\n\n!!! info \"\"\n James illuminates and clarifies our understanding of faith by bypassing\n questions about whether one has (or does not have) faith and focusing instead\n on whether a person’s faith is living or dead.\n\n## Reflection\n\nThis snippet isn't incredibly profound on its own, but in my experience it hits hard\nI've been in many conversations about faith and works - and as I've written\nabout before in \u003ca href=\"/a-new-perspective-on-being-god-s-child/\" class=\"wikilink\" data-title=\"A New Perspective on Being God\u0026#39;s Child\" data-description=\"I was in men\u0026#39;s group the other day, and one of the things that came up almost inevitably is a debate between God\u0026#39;s sovereignty and predestination, and then...\" data-date=\"2025-05-18\"\u003eA New Perspective on Being God\u0026#39;s Child\u003c/a\u003e Christians\ntoday have a deep desire to put things into neat and simple boxes but this is\noften a mistake. \nAnd in the case of faith and works I think it's just as\nprevalent for similar reasons I outlined in that post - a deep \"need\" to \"fully\nunderstand\" a system we participate in. \nHowever this usually comes lacking the accompanying nuance in understanding\n\"works\" and \"works of the law\" and \"work in order to be saved\".\n\n!!! warning \"To be very clear\"\n The Bible is in no way contradictory in its teaching about faith and works\n and salvation regardless of how wrong someone gets it... at the end of the day\n Jesus picks who he picks. This in no way excuses the elect from performing good\n works, but any good or bad \"works\" do nothing to change the reality of\n salvation - the works merely reveal the truth\n\nI don't see tension in faith and works - James' statement \"faith without works\nis dead\" is so simple to me...\nJesus changes my life every day, and every day I make decisions based on that\nreality. \nIf I only talked about my faith, and never made a decision where I\nprioritized my faith over what I wanted - then do I really believe? \n\n!!! danger \"The answer is simple\"\n Of course not.\n\n\n", "summary": "This started as one of my-thoughts and got long enough to warrant putting right in the blog", "date_published": "2025-06-18T06:00:15Z", "date_modified": "2025-06-18T06:00:15Z", "authors": [ { "name": "Nic Payne", "url": "https://pype.dev" } ], "tags": [ "bible-project", "faith", "reflection" ] }, { "id": "https://pype.dev/father-s-day-2025/", "url": "https://pype.dev/father-s-day-2025/", "title": "Father’s Day 2025", "content_html": "\u003ch1 id=\"intro\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"heading-wear-glyph\"\u003eIntro\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/h1\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI just wanted to capture some thoughts on Father\u0026rsquo;s\nDay and how becoming a dad and raising two beautiful kids has affected my view\non, or matured my view of, my relationship with God and how He sees me.\nBecause, biblically speaking, the father metaphor is very common and prominent\nfor Yahweh. He\u0026rsquo;s many things to His chosen people. But the theology of adoption\nmakes the father model and metaphor a really good one. And being a dad,\nI feel like I\u0026rsquo;ve learned a lot.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003ch1 id=\"the-childlike-position-before-god\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"heading-wear-glyph\"\u003eThe Childlike Position Before God\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/h1\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is pretty related to the last post of mine \u003ca href=\"/a-new-perspective-on-being-god-s-child/\" class=\"wikilink\" data-title=\"A New Perspective on Being God\u0026#39;s Child\" data-description=\"I was in men\u0026#39;s group the other day, and one of the things that came up almost inevitably is a debate between God\u0026#39;s sovereignty and predestination, and then...\" data-date=\"2025-05-18\" data-preview=\"I was in men\u0026#39;s group the other day, and one of the things that came up almost inevitably is a debate between God\u0026#39;s sovereignty and predestination, and then...\"\u003eA New Perspective on Being God's Child\u003c/a\u003e\nwhere the crux of that post is that, as smart as we might think we\nare as educated theologians, in the eyes of God we\u0026rsquo;re still just children. And\nI mean that we should think that our understanding of our complex topics, is\nstill the level of a child in relation to God. And so in that\nsame vein I\u0026rsquo;m asking\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"admonition warning\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"admonition-title\"\u003eWarning\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u0026ldquo;In what other ways am I like a child to God?\u0026rdquo;\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSo again today, I\u0026rsquo;m making sure to process some of these thoughts.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003ch2 id=\"babies-and-who-am-i\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"heading-wear-glyph\"\u003eBabies and Who Am I?\u003c/span\u003e \u003ca href=\"#babies-and-who-am-i\" class=\"heading-anchor\"\u003e#\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI remember both of my kids as babies would get overtired, and they\u0026rsquo;d be so\ntired that they couldn\u0026rsquo;t fall asleep. And I would look at them and go - \u0026ldquo;this\ndoesn\u0026rsquo;t make sense. Your body knows you need sleep, you know you need sleep,\nbut what does it mean to be too tired? You can\u0026rsquo;t fall asleep. And you just yell\nand scream at me.\u0026rdquo; But that baby doesn\u0026rsquo;t know that I\u0026rsquo;m their dad, they don\u0026rsquo;t\nknow anything. They\u0026rsquo;re just overtired, and they\u0026rsquo;re yelling and screaming. It\u0026rsquo;s\njust my job to protect them in that moment, comfort them, whatever. And I\nthought, \u0026ldquo;man, this just has to be how God sees me sometimes.\u0026rdquo; Even though I\u0026rsquo;ve\nbeen walking with the Lord for decades there\u0026rsquo;s got to be\ntimes when I\u0026rsquo;m just throwing a tantrum.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"admonition info\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"admonition-title\"\u003eAnd that's how God sees me\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eas a creature he loves, who\u0026rsquo;s just too tired to take a nap. And it\u0026rsquo;s a\nhumbling thing to think that that\u0026rsquo;s really sometimes how God sees me.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003ch1 id=\"unconditional-love-disobedience\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"heading-wear-glyph\"\u003eUnconditional Love \u0026amp; Disobedience\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/h1\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAs my kids have gotten older, I think that I\u0026rsquo;ve picked up on other truths\nof the Lord - mainly how he can love me even when I sin\u0026hellip; Even when my daughters\ndisobey, it doesn\u0026rsquo;t change my love for them. I just had an experience today with\nmy daughter who climbed up too high on a swing set on a trapeze bar and\ncouldn\u0026rsquo;t get herself down. And although it got tense and there was some shouting to handle, I eventually walked her through a few things:\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003col\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eI told her not to get up there, and she disobeyed.\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBy disobeying, she put herself into a dangerous and scary situation.\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eI would help her in her scary situation, but my help might not look like how she wants it to look\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThe help I can provide is to not remove her from the situation, i.e. to pick her up and just save her, but I could help her climb down and give her instruction.\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFinally, she needs to choose to trust me, even though she\u0026rsquo;ll still be scared, and she needs to choose to trust me, even when I\u0026rsquo;m not standing where\nshe wants me to stand, or putting my hand where she wants me to put my hand, so\nthat she feels safe.\u003c/li\u003e\n\u003c/ol\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"admonition info\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"admonition-title\"\u003eGuidance Over Rescue \u0026 The Need for Trust\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI need her to know that she is safe, and to trust that I tell her she is\nsafe, even when she doesn\u0026rsquo;t see it or feel it. And that is what God requests\nand demands of me, is to trust him more than I might be fearful of my future,\nfinancially, or of relational security, or whatever.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003ch2 id=\"acting-in-obedience-despite-fear\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"heading-wear-glyph\"\u003eActing in Obedience Despite Fear\u003c/span\u003e \u003ca href=\"#acting-in-obedience-despite-fear\" class=\"heading-anchor\"\u003e#\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThat trust doesn\u0026rsquo;t necessarily take away the fear, but it does mean that you\nbehave obediently and act in accordance with the reality, not with the fear.\nThe reality is that Yahweh loves and protects me, just as I love and protect my\ndaughter, even when she was scared on the trapeze bar.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003ch1 id=\"end\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"heading-wear-glyph\"\u003eEnd\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/h1\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSo Father\u0026rsquo;s Day is, for me, a good time to just reflect on what that means to\nbe a dad. I\u0026rsquo;m not going to celebrate and do anything crazy. My family isn\u0026rsquo;t\ngoing to, because I don\u0026rsquo;t want us to. But this is a nice reminder, perhaps I\nshould do this more purposefully, more often, is reflect on how\nGod teaches me about his love for me through giving me a deep love for my\nchildren.\u003c/p\u003e\n", "content_text": "\n# Intro\n\nI just wanted to capture some thoughts on Father's\nDay and how becoming a dad and raising two beautiful kids has affected my view\non, or matured my view of, my relationship with God and how He sees me.\nBecause, biblically speaking, the father metaphor is very common and prominent\nfor Yahweh. He's many things to His chosen people. But the theology of adoption\nmakes the father model and metaphor a really good one. And being a dad,\nI feel like I've learned a lot.\n\n# The Childlike Position Before God\n\nThis is pretty related to the last post of mine \u003ca href=\"/a-new-perspective-on-being-god-s-child/\" class=\"wikilink\" data-title=\"A New Perspective on Being God\u0026#39;s Child\" data-description=\"I was in men\u0026#39;s group the other day, and one of the things that came up almost inevitably is a debate between God\u0026#39;s sovereignty and predestination, and then...\" data-date=\"2025-05-18\"\u003eA New Perspective on Being God\u0026#39;s Child\u003c/a\u003e \nwhere the crux of that post is that, as smart as we might think we\nare as educated theologians, in the eyes of God we're still just children. And\nI mean that we should think that our understanding of our complex topics, is\nstill the level of a child in relation to God. And so in that\nsame vein I'm asking \n\n!!! warning \"\"\n \"In what other ways am I like a child to God?\" \n\nSo again today, I'm making sure to process some of these thoughts.\n\n## Babies and Who Am I?\n\nI remember both of my kids as babies would get overtired, and they'd be so\ntired that they couldn't fall asleep. And I would look at them and go - \"this\ndoesn't make sense. Your body knows you need sleep, you know you need sleep,\nbut what does it mean to be too tired? You can't fall asleep. And you just yell\nand scream at me.\" But that baby doesn't know that I'm their dad, they don't\nknow anything. They're just overtired, and they're yelling and screaming. It's\njust my job to protect them in that moment, comfort them, whatever. And I\nthought, \"man, this just has to be how God sees me sometimes.\" Even though I've\nbeen walking with the Lord for decades there's got to be\ntimes when I'm just throwing a tantrum. \n\n!!! info \"And that's how God sees me\"\n as a creature he loves, who's just too tired to take a nap. And it's a\n humbling thing to think that that's really sometimes how God sees me.\n\n# Unconditional Love \u0026 Disobedience\n\nAs my kids have gotten older, I think that I've picked up on other truths\nof the Lord - mainly how he can love me even when I sin... Even when my daughters\ndisobey, it doesn't change my love for them. I just had an experience today with\nmy daughter who climbed up too high on a swing set on a trapeze bar and\ncouldn't get herself down. And although it got tense and there was some shouting to handle, I eventually walked her through a few things:\n\n1. I told her not to get up there, and she disobeyed.\n2. By disobeying, she put herself into a dangerous and scary situation.\n3. I would help her in her scary situation, but my help might not look like how she wants it to look\n4. The help I can provide is to not remove her from the situation, i.e. to pick her up and just save her, but I could help her climb down and give her instruction.\n5. Finally, she needs to choose to trust me, even though she'll still be scared, and she needs to choose to trust me, even when I'm not standing where\nshe wants me to stand, or putting my hand where she wants me to put my hand, so\nthat she feels safe. \n\n!!! info \"Guidance Over Rescue \u0026 The Need for Trust\"\n I need her to know that she is safe, and to trust that I tell her she is\n safe, even when she doesn't see it or feel it. And that is what God requests\n and demands of me, is to trust him more than I might be fearful of my future,\n financially, or of relational security, or whatever.\n\n## Acting in Obedience Despite Fear\n\nThat trust doesn't necessarily take away the fear, but it does mean that you\nbehave obediently and act in accordance with the reality, not with the fear.\nThe reality is that Yahweh loves and protects me, just as I love and protect my\ndaughter, even when she was scared on the trapeze bar.\n\n# End\n\nSo Father's Day is, for me, a good time to just reflect on what that means to\nbe a dad. I'm not going to celebrate and do anything crazy. My family isn't\ngoing to, because I don't want us to. But this is a nice reminder, perhaps I\nshould do this more purposefully, more often, is reflect on how\nGod teaches me about his love for me through giving me a deep love for my\nchildren.\n", "summary": "I just wanted to capture some thoughts on Father's Day and how becoming a dad and raising two beautiful kids has affected my view on, or matured my view of,...", "date_published": "2025-06-15T09:02:09Z", "date_modified": "2025-06-15T09:02:09Z", "authors": [ { "name": "Nic Payne", "url": "https://pype.dev" } ], "tags": [ "reflection", "fathers-day" ] }, { "id": "https://pype.dev/i-love-an-expert-in-their-craft/", "url": "https://pype.dev/i-love-an-expert-in-their-craft/", "title": "I love an expert in their craft", "content_html": "\u003ch1 id=\"presence-of-an-expert\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"heading-wear-glyph\"\u003ePresence of an Expert\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/h1\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOur AC died, or has been showing signs of dying recently, and regardless of the\nfinality of its death, our house hasn\u0026rsquo;t been getting super cold\u0026hellip; The\ncondenser unit is from 1991, making it 34 years old at the time of this post\u0026hellip;\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe reason I\u0026rsquo;m writing though is that I was presented with a nice moment of\nreflection when the HVAC guy who came over to service our unit was talking to\nme about his diagnostic process. I wouldn\u0026rsquo;t even try to regurgiate everything\nbecause I barely understood it, something about a valve being stuck and not\nallowing enough refrigerant through was the root cause of the issue\u0026hellip;\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnyways, the root cause aside, this guy KNEW HVAC\u0026hellip; it was clear. He\nunderstood every aspect of my AC and furnace within a few minutes of being in\nthe basement. And that was a surreal moment, to realize I was in the presence\nof an absolute expert - just not in anything I could remotely understand.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003ch2 id=\"the-rest\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"heading-wear-glyph\"\u003eThe Rest\u003c/span\u003e \u003ca href=\"#the-rest\" class=\"heading-anchor\"\u003e#\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI don\u0026rsquo;t know what more there is to reflect\u0026hellip; I don\u0026rsquo;t want to make something all about how I\u0026rsquo;m actually an expert in my own fields\u0026hellip; because that\u0026rsquo;s not always true\u0026hellip; but it\u0026rsquo;s also not never true\u0026hellip;\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSo without arguing myself into oblivion I just want to throw out there that you should try to be an expert in what you do - and you might even encourage someone simply by being that expert\u0026hellip; I think I\u0026rsquo;m often afraid I\u0026rsquo;m going to sound arrogant or something when explaining a concept in my field, and maybe it\u0026rsquo;s dependent on the audience, but listening to this guy just effortlessly step through the mechanics of my air-con problem was an enjoyable experience.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"admonition note\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"admonition-title\"\u003eFind joy?\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAs a final attempt to make this a blog post - a final comment might be that\nit\u0026rsquo;s ok to find joy in something, especially if you become an expert in it,\nand that expertise might itself bring joy to someone else\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n", "content_text": "\n# Presence of an Expert\n\nOur AC died, or has been showing signs of dying recently, and regardless of the\nfinality of its death, our house hasn't been getting super cold... The\ncondenser unit is from 1991, making it 34 years old at the time of this post...\n\nThe reason I'm writing though is that I was presented with a nice moment of\nreflection when the HVAC guy who came over to service our unit was talking to\nme about his diagnostic process. I wouldn't even try to regurgiate everything\nbecause I barely understood it, something about a valve being stuck and not\nallowing enough refrigerant through was the root cause of the issue...\n\nAnyways, the root cause aside, this guy KNEW HVAC... it was clear. He\nunderstood every aspect of my AC and furnace within a few minutes of being in\nthe basement. And that was a surreal moment, to realize I was in the presence\nof an absolute expert - just not in anything I could remotely understand.\n\n## The Rest\n\nI don't know what more there is to reflect... I don't want to make something all about how I'm actually an expert in my own fields... because that's not always true... but it's also not never true...\n\nSo without arguing myself into oblivion I just want to throw out there that you should try to be an expert in what you do - and you might even encourage someone simply by being that expert... I think I'm often afraid I'm going to sound arrogant or something when explaining a concept in my field, and maybe it's dependent on the audience, but listening to this guy just effortlessly step through the mechanics of my air-con problem was an enjoyable experience.\n\n!!! note \"Find joy?\"\n As a final attempt to make this a blog post - a final comment might be that\n it's ok to find joy in something, especially if you become an expert in it,\n and that expertise might itself bring joy to someone else\n", "summary": "Our AC died, or has been showing signs of dying recently, and regardless of the finality of its death, our house hasn't been getting super cold... The...", "date_published": "2025-06-06T19:38:13Z", "date_modified": "2025-06-06T19:38:13Z", "authors": [ { "name": "Nic Payne", "url": "https://pype.dev" } ], "tags": [ "reflection" ] }, { "id": "https://pype.dev/autism-adhd-and-the-doshas/", "url": "https://pype.dev/autism-adhd-and-the-doshas/", "title": "Autism ADHD and the Doshas", "content_html": "\u003ch1 id=\"introduction\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"heading-wear-glyph\"\u003eIntroduction\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/h1\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI was recently diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder Level 1 and ADHD, the inattentive\ntype. I suppose, AuDHD for short.\nThere are many reasons why I now have this official label of AuDHD, not that I\nwas hoping for it, but due to a childhood behavioral disorder diagnosis and a\ndesire to understand myself better, I decided to start considering that something\nin my childhood issue was misunderstood.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"admonition note\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"admonition-title\"\u003eNote\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBut what started as simply considering some new diagnosis turned into a\nlarger worldview shift when it comes to medicine and how we treat people for\nthings we label disorderly.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003ch2 id=\"personal-history\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"heading-wear-glyph\"\u003ePersonal History\u003c/span\u003e \u003ca href=\"#personal-history\" class=\"heading-anchor\"\u003e#\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA brief history lesson for context is that I was diagnosed with bipolar\ndisorder, but not specifically type 1 or type 2. This diagnosis came about two\ntimes, once in my late childhood and again when I was 19.\nThe diagnosis never made a ton of sense to me, but it seemed to almost match some of\nthe things that my mom specifically was concerned about.\nThere is another point for later on, which is that part of me wanted to be bipolar.\nI felt like it would be cool, but also it made me special.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"admonition warning\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"admonition-title\"\u003ebias\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThere\u0026rsquo;s no way that this desire didn\u0026rsquo;t turn into massive confirmation bias\nin getting this diagnosis as a kid and as a late teenager.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOnce I started \u003ca href=\"/kind/\" class=\"glossary-term\" title=\"kind - kubernetes in docker\" data-hover-title=\"kind\"\u003ekind\u003c/a\u003e of thinking \u003cem\u003efor myself\u003c/em\u003e a little bit - the bipolar diagnosis\nwas one of my first spiritual challenges in understanding the brokenness of\nhumanity.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003ch2 id=\"the-challenge\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"heading-wear-glyph\"\u003eThe Challenge\u003c/span\u003e \u003ca href=\"#the-challenge\" class=\"heading-anchor\"\u003e#\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI believe in an orderly God, the creator of all things, who makes things both\nsoundly and reasonable. Mental health is complex because it\u0026rsquo;s not like a broken\narm, throw a cast on, and wait\u0026hellip; Taking medicine felt almost antithetical to\nmy worldview because I had a deep desire to see\nsomething miraculous. So, I backed myself into this odd worldview where I\ntaking medicine must be fighting something that God wants to do in me with this\nbrokenness. I felt like I was trying to do something maybe God didn\u0026rsquo;t want me to\ndo, but was also wrestling with \u0026ldquo;but if something\u0026rsquo;s really wrong (which is\npossible because we live in a broken world) God gifts these doctors to come up\nwith this medicine to help heal some of the brokenness.\u0026rdquo;\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSo I had these two competing ideas that were very loud in my head.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"admonition note\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"admonition-title\"\u003eNote\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIn hindsight, an AuDHD diagnosis somewhat explains this behavior of mine.\nWherein I wanted to be sick, and I had these competing ideas about the\ncharacter of God.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSo I\u0026rsquo;ve been more at less at peace with the idea that behavior disorders are\napart of life for many people - and that medical treatment can be helpful.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003ch1 id=\"reflection\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"heading-wear-glyph\"\u003eReflection\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/h1\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAs I\u0026rsquo;ve gotten older and reflected on being bi-polar I couldn\u0026rsquo;t help but notice\nthat hardly any part of the atypical\npieces of myself matched up with bi-polar at all\u0026hellip; Around the time I started\nto notice this my wife began wondering if I had something more akin to ADD. We\ndidn\u0026rsquo;t really understand what that meant, or how it has changed over the years,\nor any of it - but based on some initial stereotypes ADHD began to become a\ncommon thing we discussed\nAfter some more legitimate research we both became pretty convinced that I was\nmeasurably on the Autism Spectrum and that certainly there were ADHD tendencies\nthat negatively affected my life. I talked with my doctor and after several\npsych evaluations it turns out that my self-diagnosis was consistent with the\nconclusion of the evaluation. So if this was the end then my thought would\u0026rsquo;ve\nbeen\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"admonition note\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"admonition-title\"\u003eI'm not bi-polar\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eok I\u0026rsquo;m not bi-polar, I\u0026rsquo;m AuDHD - there\u0026rsquo;s some coping mechanisms I can\nlearn now and things make sense.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHowever, this wasn\u0026rsquo;t the end for me - getting diagnosed with AuDHD\ndidn\u0026rsquo;t/hasn\u0026rsquo;t changed my life - it\u0026rsquo;s given me a framework by which I can\nunderstand myself in the context of our\nWestern world better.\nBut there\u0026rsquo;s a lot more here and as we look ahead, I want to be clear that I\ntake no special pride in the AuDHD label\u0026hellip;\nI\u0026rsquo;ll talk about myself with this label as a way of communicating with people who\nunderstand it, but the main point of this post will be in how understanding\nmyself as a human being more holistically led to a different point of view of\nwhat the West calls neurodivergencies.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003ch1 id=\"treatment\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"heading-wear-glyph\"\u003eTreatment\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/h1\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI have been taking a light mood stabilizer for a while now per my former\nbi-polar diagnosis. There\u0026rsquo;s no doubt that it is coincidentally a helpful tool\nin coping with some debilitating aspects of AuDHD but the more I reflect the\nmore I want to get away from it - personally.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI\u0026rsquo;m not sure what to think about treatment overall\u0026hellip; I recognize that some folks are\nmuch more negatively affected by the tendencies we label as neurodivergent and\nthat there are meaningful changes that can come from modern western medicine.\nHowever, there\u0026rsquo;s also old/ancient and natural solutions to many problems that I\nthink are often overlooked\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"admonition quote\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"admonition-title\"\u003eSimple doesn't mean easy\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eoften exercise and cleaner eating can treat depression and anxiety for\nexample. That doesn\u0026rsquo;t mean the anxiety wasn\u0026rsquo;t significant or legitimate, but\nit\u0026rsquo;s not like a pharmaceutical is the only option for treating something\nlegitimate.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"admonition warning\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"admonition-title\"\u003eThe other side\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI also see that obviously there are severe cases of Autism - I think we\nshould better understand where that comes from, and I wouldn\u0026rsquo;t ever claim\nthat just drinking some tea and figuring out an exercise regime can cure\nsomething that is fully debilitating.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"admonition note\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"admonition-title\"\u003eLas drogas\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI think where I have the biggest issues with \u0026ldquo;treatment\u0026rdquo; is that taking\nmental health medication is a fad today\u0026hellip; it doesn\u0026rsquo;t mean it\u0026rsquo;s not helpful,\nbut our culture glorifies taking drugs as long as they come from a\npharmaceutical company. I\u0026rsquo;ve personally come across this as I\u0026rsquo;ve shared my\nstruggles and official AuDHD diagnosis with some friends - and it\u0026rsquo;s clear that\nsome of them give these ads and medicines every ounce of their faith and\nthat\u0026rsquo;s frankly concerning in its own way\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003ch2 id=\"two-systems-east-v-west\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"heading-wear-glyph\"\u003eTwo Systems | East v West\u003c/span\u003e \u003ca href=\"#two-systems-east-v-west\" class=\"heading-anchor\"\u003e#\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI\u0026rsquo;ve become critical of the modern Western perspective on neurodivergence\nand mental/behavioral health. It\u0026rsquo;s primarily that I\u0026rsquo;d be much less skeptical if\nit wasn\u0026rsquo;t for all the money\u0026hellip; I notice patterns as well that I don\u0026rsquo;t find\ncomforting - such as the focus on symptoms and isolated treatment of them or\ngroups of symptoms rather than looking at a human-being as an entire organism or\nsystem.\nI know that certain pieces of a system can break, and sometimes treating\nthose isolated breakages is the way to go - but also we (in the West) seem to\navoid thinking about ourselves as 1 whole thing\u0026hellip; There\u0026rsquo;s language that\nyounger people use about their \u0026ldquo;whole self\u0026rdquo; but honestly I only see them talk\nabout sexuality as if that defined everything about a person\u0026hellip; that\u0026rsquo;s 100% not\nwhat I have in mind here\u0026hellip;\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEvery one of my psychiatric appointments up through the last few years had never\nsought to get me off my medication\u0026hellip; It got me thinking the goal was for me to be\na customer for life. I don\u0026rsquo;t like being reliant on anything external and the\nfact that there was never a goal for me to be self-sufficient in my own health\nbecame troubling.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMy philosophical issues arising with our modern medical systems have led me\nto becoming more open to Eastern medicine and as I explore how those systems\nhave historically analyzed patterns and attributed those patterns to different\nways of thinking, I think the pattern-analysis and subsequent recommendations\ncan be extremely valuable. This is where adaptogens come in for me.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003ch2 id=\"lifestyle-changes\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"heading-wear-glyph\"\u003eLifestyle Changes\u003c/span\u003e \u003ca href=\"#lifestyle-changes\" class=\"heading-anchor\"\u003e#\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI\u0026rsquo;d heard of Lion\u0026rsquo;s Mane via some Joe Rogan clips (have become a bigger and\nbigger fan of him over the last few years), and then got a subscription to\nFourSigmatic which is a coffee company that offers mushroom-replacement and\nsupplements for coffee and tea basically. So I\u0026rsquo;m drinking coffee with Lion\u0026rsquo;s\nMane, and have added a few other mushroom tinctures with Reishi and Chaga\nspecifically, as well as Eleuthero and Turkey Tail as a means of introducing\nadaptogens into my routine and maybe it\u0026rsquo;s confirmation bias again, but as I\u0026rsquo;ve\ngone on and off the Lion\u0026rsquo;s Mane specifically I notice a significant difference\nin my cognitive function\u0026hellip; When I\u0026rsquo;m diligent about putting the Lion\u0026rsquo;s Mane\ntincture into my coffee in the morning it is like unlocking on-demand\nhyper-focus some mornings\u0026hellip;\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003ch1 id=\"wrapping-it-up\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"heading-wear-glyph\"\u003eWrapping It Up\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/h1\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis post is mostly a stream-of-consciousness as I reflect on the atpypical\nnature of much of my life, how that fits into the modern Western discourse of\nmental health, and how the Western perspective might end up not being a helpful lens\nthrough which to process these behavioral issues.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWith sufficient context, a faithful summary of my journey is that I don\u0026rsquo;t mind being labeled as AuDHD - there\u0026rsquo;s plenty that\u0026rsquo;s helpful with it. However if an Ayuverdic Shaman \u0026ldquo;diagnosed\u0026rdquo; me as a person whose elemental make up was primarily earthy and watery with an odd flare of fire, and that elemental make-up is what explains some of my tendencies (needing to know the correct answer, tunnel-vision and hyper-focus, literal understanding of the world, etc.) then I want to understand that with the same amount of \u0026ldquo;weight\u0026rdquo; as being AuDHD..\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"admonition note\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"admonition-title\"\u003eTLDR\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAt the end of the day there\u0026rsquo;s multiple ways to label people based on\nobservation - either at the micro or macro levels of humanity. I don\u0026rsquo;t think\nthat the Western systems of medicine get everything right, and the Eastern\nmodels have been around for thousands more years so I want to treat them with\nan equal amount of respect and validity\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n", "content_text": "\n# Introduction\n\nI was recently diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder Level 1 and ADHD, the inattentive\ntype. I suppose, AuDHD for short.\nThere are many reasons why I now have this official label of AuDHD, not that I\nwas hoping for it, but due to a childhood behavioral disorder diagnosis and a\ndesire to understand myself better, I decided to start considering that something\nin my childhood issue was misunderstood.\n\n!!! note \"\"\n But what started as simply considering some new diagnosis turned into a\n larger worldview shift when it comes to medicine and how we treat people for\n things we label disorderly.\n\n## Personal History\n\nA brief history lesson for context is that I was diagnosed with bipolar\ndisorder, but not specifically type 1 or type 2. This diagnosis came about two\ntimes, once in my late childhood and again when I was 19.\nThe diagnosis never made a ton of sense to me, but it seemed to almost match some of\nthe things that my mom specifically was concerned about.\nThere is another point for later on, which is that part of me wanted to be bipolar.\nI felt like it would be cool, but also it made me special.\n\n!!! warning \"bias\"\n There's no way that this desire didn't turn into massive confirmation bias\n in getting this diagnosis as a kid and as a late teenager.\n\nOnce I started kind of thinking *for myself* a little bit - the bipolar diagnosis\nwas one of my first spiritual challenges in understanding the brokenness of\nhumanity.\n\n## The Challenge\n\nI believe in an orderly God, the creator of all things, who makes things both\nsoundly and reasonable. Mental health is complex because it's not like a broken\narm, throw a cast on, and wait... Taking medicine felt almost antithetical to\nmy worldview because I had a deep desire to see\nsomething miraculous. So, I backed myself into this odd worldview where I\ntaking medicine must be fighting something that God wants to do in me with this\nbrokenness. I felt like I was trying to do something maybe God didn't want me to\ndo, but was also wrestling with \"but if something's really wrong (which is\npossible because we live in a broken world) God gifts these doctors to come up\nwith this medicine to help heal some of the brokenness.\"\n\nSo I had these two competing ideas that were very loud in my head.\n\n!!! note \"\"\n In hindsight, an AuDHD diagnosis somewhat explains this behavior of mine.\n Wherein I wanted to be sick, and I had these competing ideas about the\n character of God.\n\nSo I've been more at less at peace with the idea that behavior disorders are\napart of life for many people - and that medical treatment can be helpful.\n\n# Reflection\n\nAs I've gotten older and reflected on being bi-polar I couldn't help but notice\nthat hardly any part of the atypical\npieces of myself matched up with bi-polar at all... Around the time I started\nto notice this my wife began wondering if I had something more akin to ADD. We\ndidn't really understand what that meant, or how it has changed over the years,\nor any of it - but based on some initial stereotypes ADHD began to become a\ncommon thing we discussed\nAfter some more legitimate research we both became pretty convinced that I was\nmeasurably on the Autism Spectrum and that certainly there were ADHD tendencies\nthat negatively affected my life. I talked with my doctor and after several\npsych evaluations it turns out that my self-diagnosis was consistent with the\nconclusion of the evaluation. So if this was the end then my thought would've\nbeen \n\n!!! note \"I'm not bi-polar\"\n ok I'm not bi-polar, I'm AuDHD - there's some coping mechanisms I can\n learn now and things make sense.\n\nHowever, this wasn't the end for me - getting diagnosed with AuDHD\ndidn't/hasn't changed my life - it's given me a framework by which I can\nunderstand myself in the context of our\nWestern world better.\nBut there's a lot more here and as we look ahead, I want to be clear that I\ntake no special pride in the AuDHD label...\nI'll talk about myself with this label as a way of communicating with people who\nunderstand it, but the main point of this post will be in how understanding\nmyself as a human being more holistically led to a different point of view of\nwhat the West calls neurodivergencies.\n\n# Treatment\n\nI have been taking a light mood stabilizer for a while now per my former\nbi-polar diagnosis. There's no doubt that it is coincidentally a helpful tool\nin coping with some debilitating aspects of AuDHD but the more I reflect the\nmore I want to get away from it - personally.\n\nI'm not sure what to think about treatment overall... I recognize that some folks are\nmuch more negatively affected by the tendencies we label as neurodivergent and\nthat there are meaningful changes that can come from modern western medicine.\nHowever, there's also old/ancient and natural solutions to many problems that I\nthink are often overlooked \n\n!!! quote \"Simple doesn't mean easy\"\n often exercise and cleaner eating can treat depression and anxiety for\n example. That doesn't mean the anxiety wasn't significant or legitimate, but\n it's not like a pharmaceutical is the only option for treating something\n legitimate.\n\n!!! warning \"The other side\"\n I also see that obviously there are severe cases of Autism - I think we\n should better understand where that comes from, and I wouldn't ever claim\n that just drinking some tea and figuring out an exercise regime can cure\n something that is fully debilitating.\n\n!!! note \"Las drogas\"\n I think where I have the biggest issues with \"treatment\" is that taking\n mental health medication is a fad today... it doesn't mean it's not helpful,\n but our culture glorifies taking drugs as long as they come from a\n pharmaceutical company. I've personally come across this as I've shared my\n struggles and official AuDHD diagnosis with some friends - and it's clear that\n some of them give these ads and medicines every ounce of their faith and\n that's frankly concerning in its own way\n \n## Two Systems | East v West\n\nI've become critical of the modern Western perspective on neurodivergence\nand mental/behavioral health. It's primarily that I'd be much less skeptical if\nit wasn't for all the money... I notice patterns as well that I don't find\ncomforting - such as the focus on symptoms and isolated treatment of them or\ngroups of symptoms rather than looking at a human-being as an entire organism or\nsystem. \nI know that certain pieces of a system can break, and sometimes treating\nthose isolated breakages is the way to go - but also we (in the West) seem to\navoid thinking about ourselves as 1 whole thing... There's language that\nyounger people use about their \"whole self\" but honestly I only see them talk\nabout sexuality as if that defined everything about a person... that's 100% not\nwhat I have in mind here... \n\nEvery one of my psychiatric appointments up through the last few years had never\nsought to get me off my medication... It got me thinking the goal was for me to be\na customer for life. I don't like being reliant on anything external and the\nfact that there was never a goal for me to be self-sufficient in my own health\nbecame troubling.\n\nMy philosophical issues arising with our modern medical systems have led me\nto becoming more open to Eastern medicine and as I explore how those systems\nhave historically analyzed patterns and attributed those patterns to different\nways of thinking, I think the pattern-analysis and subsequent recommendations\ncan be extremely valuable. This is where adaptogens come in for me.\n\n## Lifestyle Changes\n\nI'd heard of Lion's Mane via some Joe Rogan clips (have become a bigger and\nbigger fan of him over the last few years), and then got a subscription to\nFourSigmatic which is a coffee company that offers mushroom-replacement and\nsupplements for coffee and tea basically. So I'm drinking coffee with Lion's\nMane, and have added a few other mushroom tinctures with Reishi and Chaga\nspecifically, as well as Eleuthero and Turkey Tail as a means of introducing\nadaptogens into my routine and maybe it's confirmation bias again, but as I've\ngone on and off the Lion's Mane specifically I notice a significant difference\nin my cognitive function... When I'm diligent about putting the Lion's Mane\ntincture into my coffee in the morning it is like unlocking on-demand\nhyper-focus some mornings...\n\n# Wrapping It Up\n\nThis post is mostly a stream-of-consciousness as I reflect on the atpypical\nnature of much of my life, how that fits into the modern Western discourse of\nmental health, and how the Western perspective might end up not being a helpful lens\nthrough which to process these behavioral issues.\n\nWith sufficient context, a faithful summary of my journey is that I don't mind being labeled as AuDHD - there's plenty that's helpful with it. However if an Ayuverdic Shaman \"diagnosed\" me as a person whose elemental make up was primarily earthy and watery with an odd flare of fire, and that elemental make-up is what explains some of my tendencies (needing to know the correct answer, tunnel-vision and hyper-focus, literal understanding of the world, etc.) then I want to understand that with the same amount of \"weight\" as being AuDHD.. \n\n!!! note \"TLDR\"\n At the end of the day there's multiple ways to label people based on\n observation - either at the micro or macro levels of humanity. I don't think\n that the Western systems of medicine get everything right, and the Eastern\n models have been around for thousands more years so I want to treat them with\n an equal amount of respect and validity\n", "summary": "I was recently diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder Level 1 and ADHD, the inattentive type. I suppose, AuDHD for short. There are many reasons why I now...", "date_published": "2025-06-05T07:28:42Z", "date_modified": "2025-06-05T07:28:42Z", "authors": [ { "name": "Nic Payne", "url": "https://pype.dev" } ], "tags": [ "reflection", "health", "mental-health", "autism" ] }, { "id": "https://pype.dev/i-hate-corporate-america/", "url": "https://pype.dev/i-hate-corporate-america/", "title": "I Hate Corporate America", "content_html": "\u003ch1 id=\"rant\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"heading-wear-glyph\"\u003eRant\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/h1\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe longer I\u0026rsquo;m in corporate America - and the longer I homelab and listen to\npodcasts - a cliché truth becomes more and more apparent to me, which\nis a lot of people are full of bullshit, and a lot of initiatives are built on\nnothing, and a lot of people feel the need to be/feel important.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"admonition danger\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"admonition-title\"\u003eDanger\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThat makes it hard to do things and find things that are actually valuable.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSo, for this rant to be healthy I suppose I\u0026rsquo;ll muse for a little while on\nfinding things of value in these contexts that suck.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI want to be thankful for finding things that matter when I\u0026rsquo;m\nforced to participate in contexts that I think are stupid.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003ch1 id=\"redemption\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"heading-wear-glyph\"\u003eRedemption\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/h1\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSo what good has come? The first is financial blessing - I hate that money runs\nthe worls, but God has given me a skill-set where the work does afford a\nmoderately comfortable life.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI\u0026rsquo;ve met some good friends of faith through the machine that is corporate America,\nand the friendships are a source of regular encouragement via The Boys Chat.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI\u0026rsquo;ve also met a couple friends of tech (so to speak) and through those\nfriendships I\u0026rsquo;ve discovered fun hobbies which have affected\nmy family life and home in very positive ways.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"admonition note\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"admonition-title\"\u003eEnding the rant\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThere can be good redeeming things anywhere, and it\u0026rsquo;s \u003ca href=\"/kind/\" class=\"glossary-term\" title=\"kind - kubernetes in docker\" data-hover-title=\"kind\"\u003ekind\u003c/a\u003e of a meme to hate\ncorporate America this much, but I really do and I look forward to Heaven\ncoming to Earth fully. Until then, gratitude is a good daily practice\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n", "content_text": "\n# Rant\n\nThe longer I'm in corporate America - and the longer I homelab and listen to\npodcasts - a cliché truth becomes more and more apparent to me, which\nis a lot of people are full of bullshit, and a lot of initiatives are built on\nnothing, and a lot of people feel the need to be/feel important. \n\n!!! danger \"\"\n That makes it hard to do things and find things that are actually valuable.\n\nSo, for this rant to be healthy I suppose I'll muse for a little while on\nfinding things of value in these contexts that suck.\n\nI want to be thankful for finding things that matter when I'm\nforced to participate in contexts that I think are stupid.\n\n# Redemption\n\nSo what good has come? The first is financial blessing - I hate that money runs\nthe worls, but God has given me a skill-set where the work does afford a\nmoderately comfortable life.\n\nI've met some good friends of faith through the machine that is corporate America,\nand the friendships are a source of regular encouragement via The Boys Chat.\n\nI've also met a couple friends of tech (so to speak) and through those\nfriendships I've discovered fun hobbies which have affected\nmy family life and home in very positive ways.\n\n!!! note \"Ending the rant\"\n There can be good redeeming things anywhere, and it's kind of a meme to hate\n corporate America this much, but I really do and I look forward to Heaven\n coming to Earth fully. Until then, gratitude is a good daily practice\n", "summary": "The longer I'm in corporate America - and the longer I homelab and listen to podcasts - a cliché truth becomes more and more apparent to me, which is a lot...", "date_published": "2025-05-27T08:11:52Z", "date_modified": "2025-05-27T08:11:52Z", "authors": [ { "name": "Nic Payne", "url": "https://pype.dev" } ], "tags": [ "reflection", "rant" ] }, { "id": "https://pype.dev/a-new-perspective-on-being-god-s-child/", "url": "https://pype.dev/a-new-perspective-on-being-god-s-child/", "title": "A New Perspective on Being God’s Child", "content_html": "\u003ch2 id=\"intro\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"heading-wear-glyph\"\u003eIntro\u003c/span\u003e \u003ca href=\"#intro\" class=\"heading-anchor\"\u003e#\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI was in men\u0026rsquo;s group the other day, and one of the things that came up almost inevitably\nis a debate between God\u0026rsquo;s sovereignty and predestination, and then an idea of free will.\nI have been a part of these conversations for years - I\u0026rsquo;ve been in hundreds of them certainly,\nand they all go in a very similar direction. Almost irrespective of the theological prowess\nor training of the group of people I\u0026rsquo;m in the unspoken goal always is the same\u0026hellip;\n\u003cstrong\u003eto find a hard and fast line between the 2 things or to find some comfortable verbiage for the tension\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003ch2 id=\"my-anecdotal-experience-with-other-believers\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"heading-wear-glyph\"\u003eMy Anecdotal Experience With Other Believers\u003c/span\u003e \u003ca href=\"#my-anecdotal-experience-with-other-believers\" class=\"heading-anchor\"\u003e#\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople with no real theological background have very simple ideas and\nunderstandings of free will and God\u0026rsquo;s sovereignty.\nThey typically equate God\u0026rsquo;s sovereignty with \u0026ldquo;He willed everything to be, and so you don\u0026rsquo;t\nactually have any real choices.\u0026rdquo;\nThen they think that because God has ultimate sovereignty, but they have free will, they\ncan somehow contradict God\u0026rsquo;s will, but then they don\u0026rsquo;t understand that that is a violation\nof the doctrine of God\u0026rsquo;s sovereignty.\nSo those conversations are typically hard to sit through, and my historical thought\non that, ever since I believe I\u0026rsquo;ve come to a pretty mature position on the matter,\nhas been that in the Hebrew mind, these things aren\u0026rsquo;t at odds, and we create the division with our\nWestern ideals on what it means to make choices, and what it means to be free.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 id=\"freedom\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"heading-wear-glyph\"\u003eFreedom\u003c/span\u003e \u003ca href=\"#freedom\" class=\"heading-anchor\"\u003e#\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAs a quick parenthetical remark on that - freedom is not doing whatever you want.\nTrue freedom is living in accordance with your creation, bound by the things that create\norder, because it is within those boundaries that you were designed to live -\nand thus the life you live within the boundaries is the best the life could\nbe\u0026hellip; Freedom isn\u0026rsquo;t the ultimate goal, it\u0026rsquo;s a byproduct of living in accordance\nwith our design.\nWhen you break those boundaries though - then life is scary, and you are not\nfree but rather a slave to the environment you made for yourself - an\nenvironment not designed for you because you designed it for yourself, it isn\u0026rsquo;t\nwhat the Maker made for you\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 id=\"freedom-child-s-play\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"heading-wear-glyph\"\u003eFreedom - Child’s Play\u003c/span\u003e \u003ca href=\"#freedom-child-s-play\" class=\"heading-anchor\"\u003e#\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAn easy example is kids on a playground.\nIf you give a bunch of little kids a playground with nice high fences, and you tell them to\ndo whatever they want in the playground, they\u0026rsquo;ll have a great time.\nBut if you take all the fences away from that playground, maybe even move it\nout further away from the school, kids tend to feel a lot less safe.\nBecause now, not only can they just wander as far away from it as they please, perhaps\nby accident, but dangers can now enter their playground\u0026hellip; The fences gave them\nthe freedom to enjoy the life appropriate for them.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003ch2 id=\"back-to-the-debate\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"heading-wear-glyph\"\u003eBack To the Debate\u003c/span\u003e \u003ca href=\"#back-to-the-debate\" class=\"heading-anchor\"\u003e#\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eReturning to the sovereignty and free will discussion\u0026hellip;\nWith no academic, theological, or honestly even critical thinking\napplied, we have this very silly juxtaposition of sovereignty - as if it means\nyou can\u0026rsquo;t make choices - and free will as if God\u0026rsquo;s sovereignty could be usurped\nby us.\nHowever, in groups where we have more theological training present, we really just have the\nsame (directionally speaking - the same) conversation, with a larger vocabulary.\nNow we have words like \u0026ldquo;agency\u0026rdquo;, and \u0026ldquo;scope of choice\u0026rdquo;, things that \u003ca href=\"/kind/\" class=\"glossary-term\" title=\"kind - kubernetes in docker\" data-hover-title=\"kind\"\u003ekind\u003c/a\u003e of seek to explain\naway the tension by introducing new dimension or element of abstraction to the argument.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAt the end of the day, we\u0026rsquo;re now just cutting the cake into smaller pieces.\nWe\u0026rsquo;re just filling in some of the gaps that we can see.\nThere\u0026rsquo;s still nuance.\nThere\u0026rsquo;s still the Western influence of needing to label everything.\nThere\u0026rsquo;s still, in my opinion, the ancient truth that in the Hebrew mind, Yahweh\u0026rsquo;s sovereignty\nand the human\u0026rsquo;s choice to live their life are not at odds with each other.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003ch2 id=\"a-new-perspective\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"heading-wear-glyph\"\u003eA New Perspective\u003c/span\u003e \u003ca href=\"#a-new-perspective\" class=\"heading-anchor\"\u003e#\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBut here\u0026rsquo;s a thought I started to formulate just recently\u0026hellip;\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"admonition note\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"admonition-title\"\u003ea recent thought\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEven for a PhD in theological studies or in theology or an expert in church history or\nchurch fathers or whatever - for somebody \u003cem\u003etoday\u003c/em\u003e to think that we can define these terms\nin a totally correct and understandable way is another manifestation of the\n\u003cstrong\u003ePEAK ARROGANCE\u003c/strong\u003e of the West (Blog on Western v Eastern medicine in the works)\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI don\u0026rsquo;t mean to claim here that I have the \u003cem\u003eright\u003c/em\u003e understanding of sovereignty and free will.\nBut Paul has some choice words for believers who love quarreling and debates, and he calls\nthem spiritual children who aren\u0026rsquo;t ready for real food.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"admonition quote\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"admonition-title\"\u003e2 Timothy 2:23-24\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e23 But reject foolish and ignorant disputes, knowing that they breed quarrels.\n24 The Lord\u0026rsquo;s slave must not quarrel, but must be gentle to everyone, able to teach, and patient,\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"admonition quote\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"admonition-title\"\u003e1 Corinthians 3\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e1For my part, brothers and sisters, I was not able to speak to you as spiritual\npeople but as people of the flesh, as babies in Christ.a 2I gave you milk to\ndrink, not solid food, since you were not yet ready for it. In fact, you are\nstill not ready, 3because you are still worldly. For since there is envya and\nstrifea b among you, are you not worldly and behaving like mere humans? 4For\nwhenever someone says, “I belong to Paul,” and another, “I belong to Apollos,”a\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"admonition warning\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"admonition-title\"\u003eIt's you\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI\u0026rsquo;ve often heard the Corinthian church used as an example of a bad place to\nbe - and no doubt it was. But modern American Christianity may be much closer\nto Corinth than Thessolinca as far as maturity and Christ-like living goes.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHe says things like \u0026ldquo;I gave you milk to drink, not solid food, since you were\nnot yet ready for it\u0026rdquo;\nI used to think that the \u0026ldquo;real food\u0026rdquo; was these theological debates, that you learn\nmore about the Bible, you learn more about humanity, and then you can have these more\nin-depth conversations.\nBut I think the real wisdom is easly seen with a metaphor\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 id=\"who-s-the-child-here\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"heading-wear-glyph\"\u003eWho’s the child here?\u003c/span\u003e \u003ca href=\"#who-s-the-child-here\" class=\"heading-anchor\"\u003e#\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI have two daughters in different developmental stages, and so we have 3 characters\u0026hellip;\nThere\u0026rsquo;s my young daughter, my older daughter, and me.\nRight away, I think we often talk about knowing God in this kind of a term where,\nyou know, I\u0026rsquo;m his child and I have children.\nSo there\u0026rsquo;s a parent-child relationship.\nAnd then in the God-human relationship, I understand my position better now as a parent\nof real children, of humans, which helps me understand my position as a child of God.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e!!! failure \u0026quot;\u0026quot;\nI don\u0026rsquo;t think we take that very seriously.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"admonition success\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"admonition-title\"\u003eSuccess\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI think use this more as comforting language rather than a humbling truth - \u003cstrong\u003eI\u0026rsquo;m a child of God\u003c/strong\u003e\nBut really, I think the TLDR is that even the most highly trained theological individual - that person is not a grown-up in the eyes of God.\nHe or she is still a child, and our understanding is still limited to what a child can understand.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eLet\u0026rsquo;s continue with the metaphor\u0026hellip;\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou could ask either one of my daughters if they know me, and of course they would both\nsay yes, and they know me to different degrees.\nPerhaps because the older one knows more about me - does that mean that she knows me better than the younger?\nI think it would be silly to say yes.\nBoth of my kids know me to the fullest capacity that they can know me.\nSo what about love?\nDo they both love me?\nAnd do I love them?\nOf course.\nAnd do I show my love to both of them in the same ways?\nOf course not.\nNot only are they unique, but they\u0026rsquo;re at different stages in life\u0026hellip;\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor example - I don\u0026rsquo;t exercise the same amount of discipline towards my\nyoungest because she\u0026rsquo;s not ready for it - it\u0026rsquo;s not reasonable to expect the\nsame things of her as our older daughter.\nSpeaking of her - she absolutely is ready for some more discipline and for some\nhigher expectations, and so I will train her up in the ways that she is mature\nenough to understand.\nNow, does that mean I love my younger daughter less, or does it mean I love my older daughter\nmore?\nNo.\nIt means I\u0026rsquo;m loving them in a way that is appropriate for where they are at\ndevelopmentally, for their better good.\nSo that they grow up to be ordered, to be competent, to be self-controlled, and\nto not grow up to be wild adults with no regard for boundaries and rules.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSo to be specific about the metaphor and the example I just laid out: I don\u0026rsquo;t want my children\nto ever hurt or suffer, but I also know that suffering is required for learning and for them to grow to be mature individuals.\nI know how to control some of the inevitable suffering a child must endure, especially if it\u0026rsquo;s in the form of discipline, for my children so they are safe, protected, loved, but also corrected and molded into competent human beings.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 id=\"the-kicker\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"heading-wear-glyph\"\u003eThe Kicker\u003c/span\u003e \u003ca href=\"#the-kicker\" class=\"heading-anchor\"\u003e#\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNow would it be appropriate for my older daughter (who understands that suffering is required\nfor learning) would it be appropriate for her to look at my younger daughter and tell\nher, \u0026ldquo;dad wants you to suffer\u0026rdquo;?\nThat\u0026rsquo;s tough, isn\u0026rsquo;t it\u0026hellip;\nBecause she\u0026rsquo;s not really lying, but more importantly she\u0026rsquo;s also not telling anything close to the whole\ntruth and she is also not talking to somebody who is capable of understanding the nuances\nof that truth.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIn the eyes of God, I\u0026rsquo;m still a five-year-old.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnd for me as a five-year-old boy in the eyes of the Lord, to try and explain things that\nI think I understand or that I understand to the best capability that a five-year-old can -\nIf I go try to teach a three-year-old things about God in ways that they can\u0026rsquo;t understand,\nI am not loving that other person and I\u0026rsquo;m not even loving God very well.\nI\u0026rsquo;m just stuck in my own arrogance of understanding, thinking that I now get it because I\u0026rsquo;ve come\nto my own realization.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cblockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI recognize there\u0026rsquo;s a little irony now in writing this post because I\u0026rsquo;m\nsaying I think I kind of understand that I don\u0026rsquo;t/can\u0026rsquo;t understand the sovereignty\nand free will relationship. I wouldn\u0026rsquo;t say I can explain that away, but I\nthink I understand who I am better in the eyes of the Lord and what I could\nreasonably expect to understand from an academic standpoint.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003c/blockquote\u003e\n\u003ch2 id=\"so-what\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"heading-wear-glyph\"\u003eSo What?\u003c/span\u003e \u003ca href=\"#so-what\" class=\"heading-anchor\"\u003e#\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe lesson for me, and for my community of faith - is to calm down about the\ndebates\u0026hellip;. They\u0026rsquo;re fun over a drink and cigars, but when boots are on the\nground we need to remember that the Bible has information that we need to know,\nit doesn\u0026rsquo;t have all the information that we want to know - and the American\nChurch must drop its arrogant need to explain away every mystery and instead\nhold fast to the God of those mysteries.\u003c/p\u003e\n", "content_text": "\n## Intro\n\nI was in men's group the other day, and one of the things that came up almost inevitably\nis a debate between God's sovereignty and predestination, and then an idea of free will.\nI have been a part of these conversations for years - I've been in hundreds of them certainly,\nand they all go in a very similar direction. Almost irrespective of the theological prowess\nor training of the group of people I'm in the unspoken goal always is the same... \n**to find a hard and fast line between the 2 things or to find some comfortable verbiage for the tension**\n\n## My Anecdotal Experience With Other Believers\n\nPeople with no real theological background have very simple ideas and\nunderstandings of free will and God's sovereignty.\nThey typically equate God's sovereignty with \"He willed everything to be, and so you don't\nactually have any real choices.\"\nThen they think that because God has ultimate sovereignty, but they have free will, they\ncan somehow contradict God's will, but then they don't understand that that is a violation\nof the doctrine of God's sovereignty.\nSo those conversations are typically hard to sit through, and my historical thought\non that, ever since I believe I've come to a pretty mature position on the matter,\nhas been that in the Hebrew mind, these things aren't at odds, and we create the division with our\nWestern ideals on what it means to make choices, and what it means to be free.\n\n### Freedom\n\nAs a quick parenthetical remark on that - freedom is not doing whatever you want.\nTrue freedom is living in accordance with your creation, bound by the things that create\norder, because it is within those boundaries that you were designed to live -\nand thus the life you live within the boundaries is the best the life could\nbe... Freedom isn't the ultimate goal, it's a byproduct of living in accordance\nwith our design.\nWhen you break those boundaries though - then life is scary, and you are not\nfree but rather a slave to the environment you made for yourself - an\nenvironment not designed for you because you designed it for yourself, it isn't\nwhat the Maker made for you\n\n### Freedom - Child's Play\n\nAn easy example is kids on a playground.\nIf you give a bunch of little kids a playground with nice high fences, and you tell them to\ndo whatever they want in the playground, they'll have a great time.\nBut if you take all the fences away from that playground, maybe even move it\nout further away from the school, kids tend to feel a lot less safe.\nBecause now, not only can they just wander as far away from it as they please, perhaps\nby accident, but dangers can now enter their playground... The fences gave them\nthe freedom to enjoy the life appropriate for them.\n\n## Back To the Debate\n\nReturning to the sovereignty and free will discussion... \nWith no academic, theological, or honestly even critical thinking\napplied, we have this very silly juxtaposition of sovereignty - as if it means\nyou can't make choices - and free will as if God's sovereignty could be usurped\nby us.\nHowever, in groups where we have more theological training present, we really just have the\nsame (directionally speaking - the same) conversation, with a larger vocabulary.\nNow we have words like \"agency\", and \"scope of choice\", things that kind of seek to explain\naway the tension by introducing new dimension or element of abstraction to the argument.\n\nAt the end of the day, we're now just cutting the cake into smaller pieces.\nWe're just filling in some of the gaps that we can see.\nThere's still nuance.\nThere's still the Western influence of needing to label everything.\nThere's still, in my opinion, the ancient truth that in the Hebrew mind, Yahweh's sovereignty\nand the human's choice to live their life are not at odds with each other.\n\n## A New Perspective\n\nBut here's a thought I started to formulate just recently...\n\n!!! note a recent thought\n Even for a PhD in theological studies or in theology or an expert in church history or\n church fathers or whatever - for somebody _today_ to think that we can define these terms \n in a totally correct and understandable way is another manifestation of the\n __PEAK ARROGANCE__ of the West (Blog on Western v Eastern medicine in the works)\n\nI don't mean to claim here that I have the _right_ understanding of sovereignty and free will.\nBut Paul has some choice words for believers who love quarreling and debates, and he calls\nthem spiritual children who aren't ready for real food.\n\n!!! quote 2 Timothy 2:23-24\n\n 23 But reject foolish and ignorant disputes, knowing that they breed quarrels.\n 24 The Lord's slave must not quarrel, but must be gentle to everyone, able to teach, and patient,\n\n!!! quote 1 Corinthians 3\n 1For my part, brothers and sisters, I was not able to speak to you as spiritual\n people but as people of the flesh, as babies in Christ.a 2I gave you milk to\n drink, not solid food, since you were not yet ready for it. In fact, you are\n still not ready, 3because you are still worldly. For since there is envya and\n strifea b among you, are you not worldly and behaving like mere humans? 4For\n whenever someone says, “I belong to Paul,” and another, “I belong to Apollos,”a\n\n!!! warning It's you\n I've often heard the Corinthian church used as an example of a bad place to\n be - and no doubt it was. But modern American Christianity may be much closer\n to Corinth than Thessolinca as far as maturity and Christ-like living goes.\n\nHe says things like \"I gave you milk to drink, not solid food, since you were\nnot yet ready for it\"\nI used to think that the \"real food\" was these theological debates, that you learn\nmore about the Bible, you learn more about humanity, and then you can have these more\nin-depth conversations.\nBut I think the real wisdom is easly seen with a metaphor\n\n### Who's the child here?\n\nI have two daughters in different developmental stages, and so we have 3 characters...\nThere's my young daughter, my older daughter, and me.\nRight away, I think we often talk about knowing God in this kind of a term where,\nyou know, I'm his child and I have children.\nSo there's a parent-child relationship.\nAnd then in the God-human relationship, I understand my position better now as a parent\nof real children, of humans, which helps me understand my position as a child of God.\n\n!!! failure \"\"\n I don't think we take that very seriously.\n\n!!! success \"\"\n I think use this more as comforting language rather than a humbling truth - __I'm a child of God__\n But really, I think the TLDR is that even the most highly trained theological individual - that person is not a grown-up in the eyes of God.\n He or she is still a child, and our understanding is still limited to what a child can understand.\n\nLet's continue with the metaphor...\n\nYou could ask either one of my daughters if they know me, and of course they would both\nsay yes, and they know me to different degrees.\nPerhaps because the older one knows more about me - does that mean that she knows me better than the younger?\nI think it would be silly to say yes.\nBoth of my kids know me to the fullest capacity that they can know me.\nSo what about love?\nDo they both love me?\nAnd do I love them?\nOf course.\nAnd do I show my love to both of them in the same ways?\nOf course not.\nNot only are they unique, but they're at different stages in life... \n\nFor example - I don't exercise the same amount of discipline towards my\nyoungest because she's not ready for it - it's not reasonable to expect the\nsame things of her as our older daughter.\nSpeaking of her - she absolutely is ready for some more discipline and for some\nhigher expectations, and so I will train her up in the ways that she is mature\nenough to understand.\nNow, does that mean I love my younger daughter less, or does it mean I love my older daughter\nmore?\nNo.\nIt means I'm loving them in a way that is appropriate for where they are at\ndevelopmentally, for their better good.\nSo that they grow up to be ordered, to be competent, to be self-controlled, and\nto not grow up to be wild adults with no regard for boundaries and rules.\n\nSo to be specific about the metaphor and the example I just laid out: I don't want my children\nto ever hurt or suffer, but I also know that suffering is required for learning and for them to grow to be mature individuals.\nI know how to control some of the inevitable suffering a child must endure, especially if it's in the form of discipline, for my children so they are safe, protected, loved, but also corrected and molded into competent human beings.\n\n### The Kicker\n\nNow would it be appropriate for my older daughter (who understands that suffering is required\nfor learning) would it be appropriate for her to look at my younger daughter and tell\nher, \"dad wants you to suffer\"?\nThat's tough, isn't it...\nBecause she's not really lying, but more importantly she's also not telling anything close to the whole\ntruth and she is also not talking to somebody who is capable of understanding the nuances\nof that truth.\n\nIn the eyes of God, I'm still a five-year-old.\n\nAnd for me as a five-year-old boy in the eyes of the Lord, to try and explain things that\nI think I understand or that I understand to the best capability that a five-year-old can -\nIf I go try to teach a three-year-old things about God in ways that they can't understand,\nI am not loving that other person and I'm not even loving God very well.\nI'm just stuck in my own arrogance of understanding, thinking that I now get it because I've come\nto my own realization.\n\n\u003e I recognize there's a little irony now in writing this post because I'm\n\u003e saying I think I kind of understand that I don't/can't understand the sovereignty\n\u003e and free will relationship. I wouldn't say I can explain that away, but I\n\u003e think I understand who I am better in the eyes of the Lord and what I could\n\u003e reasonably expect to understand from an academic standpoint.\n\n## So What?\n\nThe lesson for me, and for my community of faith - is to calm down about the\ndebates.... They're fun over a drink and cigars, but when boots are on the\nground we need to remember that the Bible has information that we need to know,\nit doesn't have all the information that we want to know - and the American\nChurch must drop its arrogant need to explain away every mystery and instead\nhold fast to the God of those mysteries.\n", "summary": "I was in men's group the other day, and one of the things that came up almost inevitably is a debate between God's sovereignty and predestination, and then...", "date_published": "2025-05-18T07:15:06Z", "date_modified": "2025-05-18T07:15:06Z", "authors": [ { "name": "Nic Payne", "url": "https://pype.dev" } ], "tags": [ "faith", "reflection", "free-will", "sovereignty" ] }, { "id": "https://pype.dev/reflection-wisdom-in-relationships/", "url": "https://pype.dev/reflection-wisdom-in-relationships/", "title": "Reflection - Wisdom in Relationships", "content_html": "\u003cp\u003eThis morning I finally felt some motivation for a short Bible Project video.\nThe app is great (💯 would recommend) and gives me daily reminders that are\nunobtrusive.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe passage is Matthew 7:1-2\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cpre\u003e\u003ccode class=\"language-Do\"\u003ethat you judge, you will be judged.\n\nAnd with the measure that you measure, it will be measured to you. ```\n\nThere are some personal things going on for me as I wrestle and work through an\nAuDHD diagnosis and there's a lot for me having grown up as a (almost\ncertainly) undiagnosed mild-autistic. These 2 verses are in a larger section of\nScripture called \u0026quot;The Sermon on the Mount\u0026quot;, Jesus starts it by basically saying\nhe'll summarize the Law and Prophets in Matthew 5, then concludes it in Matthew\n7 by saying he summed them up with what we call the Golden Rule - `do unto\nothers as you would have them do unto you` is how my Souther Baptist Grandma\nused to say it.\n\nI've grown up into knowing it's simply silly to expect non-Christians to live\nBiblically - I do not understand the judgement some Christians throw at\nnon-believers for things like cohabitation or getting drunk... It's literally\nwhat I would do without Jesus guiding my lie. However I've always felt a pretty\nunreasonable responsibility to point out where Christians are living by double\nstandards. Jesus addresses this with another commonly known question - \u0026quot;Why do\nyou take the spec our of your brother's eye but ignore the log in your own\neye?\u0026quot;. I'm very personally aware, almost to a hyper degree, but I definitely\ndon't have perfect-awaremenss, and I don't know if I'm losing zeal as I get\nolder or actually growing into wisdom but I am sliding more and more into a\nposition of just not worrying about what other people are doing. As long as my\nfamily is safe I'm basically a full-blown libertarian when it comes to people\nliving their lives.\n\nThe BP message this morning was just great confirmation that this is\ndirectionally correct, at least right now for me. I spent a lot of time as a\nkid worrying about other Christians living appropriately (this was partly\ndriven by needing older Christians to help me live appropriately and so I felt\nresponsiblity to help provide that environment for myself... combination of\nGod's grace and undiagnosed AuDHD methinks). Now as an adult I spend most of my\ntime thanking Jesus for saving me from myself and I simply trust that he will\nsave who he saves. Because that's not up to me I can focus on what I can manage\n- my own life and family.\n\u003c/code\u003e\u003c/pre\u003e\n", "content_text": "\nThis morning I finally felt some motivation for a short Bible Project video.\nThe app is great (💯 would recommend) and gives me daily reminders that are\nunobtrusive.\n\nThe passage is Matthew 7:1-2\n\n``` Do not judge so tha tyou will not be judged. Because with the judgement\nthat you judge, you will be judged.\n\nAnd with the measure that you measure, it will be measured to you. ```\n\nThere are some personal things going on for me as I wrestle and work through an\nAuDHD diagnosis and there's a lot for me having grown up as a (almost\ncertainly) undiagnosed mild-autistic. These 2 verses are in a larger section of\nScripture called \"The Sermon on the Mount\", Jesus starts it by basically saying\nhe'll summarize the Law and Prophets in Matthew 5, then concludes it in Matthew\n7 by saying he summed them up with what we call the Golden Rule - `do unto\nothers as you would have them do unto you` is how my Souther Baptist Grandma\nused to say it.\n\nI've grown up into knowing it's simply silly to expect non-Christians to live\nBiblically - I do not understand the judgement some Christians throw at\nnon-believers for things like cohabitation or getting drunk... It's literally\nwhat I would do without Jesus guiding my lie. However I've always felt a pretty\nunreasonable responsibility to point out where Christians are living by double\nstandards. Jesus addresses this with another commonly known question - \"Why do\nyou take the spec our of your brother's eye but ignore the log in your own\neye?\". I'm very personally aware, almost to a hyper degree, but I definitely\ndon't have perfect-awaremenss, and I don't know if I'm losing zeal as I get\nolder or actually growing into wisdom but I am sliding more and more into a\nposition of just not worrying about what other people are doing. As long as my\nfamily is safe I'm basically a full-blown libertarian when it comes to people\nliving their lives.\n\nThe BP message this morning was just great confirmation that this is\ndirectionally correct, at least right now for me. I spent a lot of time as a\nkid worrying about other Christians living appropriately (this was partly\ndriven by needing older Christians to help me live appropriately and so I felt\nresponsiblity to help provide that environment for myself... combination of\nGod's grace and undiagnosed AuDHD methinks). Now as an adult I spend most of my\ntime thanking Jesus for saving me from myself and I simply trust that he will\nsave who he saves. Because that's not up to me I can focus on what I can manage\n- my own life and family.\n", "summary": "This morning I finally felt some motivation for a short Bible Project video. The app is great (💯 would recommend) and gives me daily reminders that are...", "date_published": "2024-10-12T05:40:11Z", "date_modified": "2024-10-12T05:40:11Z", "authors": [ { "name": "Nic Payne", "url": "https://pype.dev" } ], "tags": [ "bible-project", "faith", "reflection" ] } ] }