Series of posts for the Advent season

Desktop Crash 2026

2026-04-22T05:57:40Z

PC Crash #

Desktop crashed days ago, apparently my primary drive has been going bad for a while and eventually it just died.

live-booted to ubuntu server
found restic backup script to NAS
edited to be smaller, but did the backup to the NAS
rsync’d docker volumes to BX500 SSD which is a zfs pool
captured what I did on ghost at /home/nic/aurora-recovery-report.md and /home/nic/aurora-crash-disk-health-report.md

PLAN #

install _ubunto Aurora on 500 GB Samsung
create zfs dataset for projects /tank/volumes/projects
- which disk?
mount zfs dataset /tank/volumes/projects to /home/nic/projects
zfs for home? probably not, keep home on ext4
mount old home and sync directly
- restoring old backups to 2TB disk, will selectively copy things over
jetkvm key rotation
- I recovered the old id_rsa one but I’m going to simplify my ssh key usage, so sticking with my default key, updated this in the jetkvm /settings/advanced webui
restore restic backup to a temp location /var/docker-storage-zfs/home-restore/
- figure out what to keep
  - .skm (or consolidate keys)
  - ???
install windsurf in an ubuntu distrobox
- distroboc create UbuntuDev --image=ubuntu:22.04
- https://windsurf.com/download/editor?os=linux
- manual install method from distrobox
- restore .windsurf? it’s super old…

Outcome #

This is going terribly… blog post coming on what I should’ve done. What’s actually happening is that I basically just lost everything on that desktop except my homelab repo thank God…

Plans to build #

vibe code an observability thing that
- runs a restore in a container
- run some kind of setup in that container at least for my shell and neovim and things
networking for babyblue-aurora -> aurora transition
lament draft posts that are lost
ssh keys… lost .skm directory, look if it’s copied anywhere otherwise rotate keys and simplify
workspace backup everynight… abuse git for this
- or rsync to external drive, you have zfs on aurora now
opencode to address neovim logs
switch to zellij?
- what would have to translate from tmux? probably quite a few keybindings

I’ve been drowning in anxiety and depression over tech and AI, work and requirements, and my desktop SSD catastrophically failing while I didn’t have an up to date backup… projects, ssh keys, ideas… gone. And that’s ok, life goes on, so here’s my start of a hectic list of what I’m doing to setup my desktop again. This will turn into a small post, a sister-post to the one I need to write about how I should’ve recovered from my live boot environment

Advent - 1 John 4:17

2025-12-25T05:36:08Z

1 John 4:17

By this love is perfected with us, so that we may have confidence in the day of judgment, because just as that one is, so also are we in this world.

Confidence #

I’ve definitely written about confidence before outside this blog, it’s a key Christian theme. John mentions here in the middle of a bunch of stuff about love as he is wrapping up this letter.

Love is beautiful, and over this Advent season I’ve reflected a lot on verse 19 “We love, because he first loved us”. Because of God, his original love for you and me, his own power and majesty, his own right to rule and reign - because of all of that I am to “have confidence in the day of judgement”. Christmas isn’t so much about looking forward to a future time, it’s remembering that the time we look forward to is already here in part. Jesus has already come, once. He brought heaven to earth and undid much of the curse of separation placed on humans at Eden. It’s because he’s already done it, because he loved me first, that confidence can follow. No Christian should find themselves concerned about their position in front of the Lord any more than my daughter should ever be concerned about her status as my daughter. There’s nothing she could do to separate herself from my love for her, and there is nothing I can do to separate myself from God’s love. In the binding of that love, is confidence for security in the future. Not that all my bills are paid and I have a happy life

but that in the ultimate sense, my purpose as an image-bearing Human will be fully realized, God’s plan fully carried out, in the end. And I don’t have to worry, because in his love I am secure, just like I hope that in my love my daughters are secure.

Christians struggle with doubt, and that’s not a sin. John would encourage you to take hold of being God’s child, live that way, and in living like his child, his love is revealed, and as it is revealed and perfected, confidence naturally follows.

We aren’t guaranteed much about life, but I have zero valid reasons to doubt the King who saved me and will continue to save me. May Jesus’ name be great, he is King, amen.

Advent - Luke 6:35

2025-12-23T05:17:05Z

Luke 6:35

But love your enemies, and do good, and lend expecting back nothing, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked.

Love Your Enemies #

I was once an enemy of God, and even today still make choices that highlight enmity in my heart towards him. It’s what’s left-over, what will continue to persist (though I hope be minimized as much as possible) while waiting for Heaven to come to earth. Knowing and recognizing my own position - as a former enemy, makes it somewhat easy to read these words to “do good” and “expect nothing in return” from my enemies because God was good to me, and continues to be. So, I am the ungrateful and the wicked that he is kind to.

How do I feel about that? Honestly, grateful but also a little ashamed. I know who I am, and sometimes I choose to be who I was before. But God still loves me and my heart is glad to be in his favor.

Advent - Mark 12:29-30

2025-12-21T05:41:55Z

Mark 12:29-30

29 Jesus answered, “The most important is, ‘Listen, Israel! The Lord our God, the Lord is one. 30 And you shall love the Lord your God from your whole heart and from your whole soul and from your whole mind and from your whole strength.’

The Most Important Commandment #

Deuteronomy 6:4-5

4 “Hear, Israel, Yahweh our God, Yahweh is unique. 5 And you shall love Yahweh your God with all of your heart and with all of your soul and with all of your might.

Jesus quotes the Shema as the most important commandment - not really surprising… Yahweh’s authority and divine kingship is the most important reality to affirm. Along with recognizing the authority and Oneness of Yahweh is the command the love him. ie. Not loving him is not recognizing his authority… Again, not a surprising thing to hear a king say.

So he says the most important thing is to love Yahweh Elohim (the Lord your God) with everything. This calls Paul’s words about transformation to mind -

Romans 12:1-2

Therefore I exhort you, brothers, through the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God, which is your reasonable service. 2 And do not be conformed to this age, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, so that you may approve what is the good and well-pleasing and perfect will of God.

Paul says that to offer ourselves as a living sacraifice (strong language, no?) is our reasonable service… If we think about Jesus’ words that the most important commandment is to love God with everything, then Paul’s words here in Romans are honestly just a natural outpouring of that priority - that we are to offer everything back to him.

One lens through which to view this is simply gratitude… If you are given everything by someone, of course you’d seek to show your thanks. Part of the human experience for the Christian, I think anyways, is the maturing and realization of how much God has given, and how much he has saved me from. This maturity leads me to love God more deeply… It’s as if my perspective on what he’s done for me grows, so too my love for him grows.

Success

The “everything” I have to offer increases as I become more aware of everything he’s given.

Praise God for the mercies on my life, the greatest of which is the freedom to offer myself to him. In the bonds of sin and shame I’m not free to crawl up onto the altar as a living sacrifice. But God, in his grace, brought me to life. He animated my body, makes it sacred space, and in the life-giving power of Jesus’ resurrection and the Holy Spirit I should walk myself to the altar and lay myself down. The most important command for me is to love him with everything, and praise the Lord I am free to do so.

Advent - Romans 15:13

2025-12-20T05:36:26Z

Romans 15:13

Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

The last 3 weeks of Advent are summarized right here in verse 13. Yahweh is the God of hope, of expectation, he brings Joy through redemption, and Peace to the believer through faith. That Joy and Peace lead us to “abound in hope” ourselves, by the power of the Holy Spirit.

What a dense sentence…

The last several days and months have been heavy, and praise God for Christmas and Advent right now, which is daily reorienting my eyes to Jesus. I’m waking up everyday thinking about work, the next thing to do, my next project, retirement, why am I so sweaty in the morning?… But after a few deep breaths, eventually making my way to my desk with a cup of coffee and a sense of direction to start my day, I’ve been sitting down and reflecting not just on some random passage from a devotional, but through this Advent season regularly, daily, reflecting on the core themes. By God’s grace this has been a great gift to me, and without this daily (or mostly daily) reorientation, I am sure the stress I do still feel would be multiplied by orders of magnitude.

We light the Love candle tomorrow, but today is good for me to wrap up the last 3 weeks with this simple verse. I know God loves me, this next week of reflection I look forward to what he shares with me. And today the Word of God reminds me that hope, joy, and peace are apart of God’s design for our lives. Those things are found and fulfilled in the Person and Work of Jesus. He then left us the helper, the Holy Spirit, to carry us forward while we wait for his return. Today, it’s in the Spirit’s power that God’s hope may overflow our hearts, and if we… if I am overflowing with hope and love and peace in Jesus, then I sure hope more that the “Christmas Cheer” God gives to me does a partnering work in bringing Heaven to earth while we expectantly wait for the return of the King.

Advent - Matthew 5:11-12

2025-12-18T05:08:56Z

Matthew 5:11-12

11 Blessed are you when they insult you and persecute you and say all kinds of evil things against you, lying on account of me. 12 Rejoice and be glad, because your reward is great in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets before you.

Context #

To drop some context that I’m familiar with, this is from a famous section of Jesus’ “Sermon on the Mount” called “The Beatitudes”. A little unknown fact in a lot of Christian circles is that these phrases from Matthew 5:3-12 are derived from some ancient Jewish wisdom (esus didn’t come up with these on the fly). Most of these saying come from something called “The Book of Wisdom” and they had a history of being used as a way of defining who was close to God and who wasn’t. Jesus takes the ancient and perverted pseudo-wisdom here and turns it on its head. He’s not giving instructions, he’s giving correction to people who have been abused by civic and religious powers at be.

Reflection #

So I know Jesus is not saying I should go out and pursue persecution and slander. Nor is he saying that just because someone might be mean to me for my faith, that I’m practicing my faith in an appropriate way.

But what Jesus is doing is acknowledging that the world fundamentally does reject him. Ultimately, at a level more foundational than the atoms that make up the universe, creation is broken right now. It’s being redeemed, but it’s also broken. In its broken state, like a body that is sick, it might reject things that are good for it.

Humans are apart of creation, humans are apart of what is broken, and humans, in our brokenness, reject ultimate goodness by our very broken nature. Jesus says that when the world persecutes us because of him, it’s a simple truth made manifest… The broken world continues to reject Jesus, and as you or I are brought further into the fold of God’s family, then those outside, those still under the crushing, oppressive thumb of sin and death, can not help but carry out their natural inclination against that which is good. It is quite literally only natural.

So should I find myself offended when someone naturally rejects me on account of Jesus’ presence in my life? I think I should instead almost pity them, and pray that Jesus calls their name too.

Advent - John 15:10-11

2025-12-17T05:39:34Z

John 15:10-11

10 If you keep my commandments, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and remain in his love. 11 I have spoken these things to you in order that my joy may be in you, and your joy may be made complete.

This is a beautiful couple verses about love that have only made more and more sense to me as I get older and I have become a dad.

Commandments are not necessarily about control. I see this illogical line of thinking EVERYWHERE - that advocating for rules and boundaries in life can quickly get conflated with “you want to control me/them!”. I think the general population really fails to understand that the lack of boundaries doesn’t make you free, it turns you into a slave of your most powerful desire. It is literally in the human-nature.

Random boundaries though are not helpful or loving… Restriction without purpose, or for the wrong reason, can put you into a situation you weren’t designed to be in. I believe humans were created according to a design, and like anything else with a purpose there are appropriate ways and places to live, be, act, etc. as well as inappropriate ways and places. The appropriatedness can only be determined by the one who knows the design though…. otherwise someone is just guessing what the purposeful boundary or restriction is.

In the case of our own reality, the architect of the universe is Jesus himself, and in his divine knowledge of all of Creation he gives commandments (boundaries and regulations) that are in perfect alignment with our design and purpose

From here it sounds so simple… The commandments from the Lord come from an understanding of what is actually best for the human life. Because Jesus actually knows better than you or me when we are in line with his commandments, when we “remain in [his] love”, we are more in-line with our created purpose than when we think we know better for ourselves. It’s practically a law of nature that things work best when used for their created purpose, and in the human-design I think it’s no different. Jesus offers the framework for the fulfilled human life - it’s not attainable without the freedom to love him, but for the chosen - his joy follows love and freedom.

For who?

The life of freedom is only fully possible for whoever Jesus picks. Without him awakening your heart to love what is truely lovely and hate what is truely despicable then you’ll never want anything that he offers. The understanding of “his way is better” is only possible in the mind and heart of the person whom Jesus raises to life out of the chaotic ocean of death.

Today God gives me the freedom to keep his commandments. I’ll make my choice moment by moment and pray continuously that he sustains my trust in him - to ignore my dead-self’s desires and instead to keep the commandments of the Lord so that my joy may be made complete

Advent - Luke 2:10-11

2025-12-16T04:55:33Z

Luke 2:10-11

10 And the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid, for behold, I bring good news to you of great joy which will be for all the people: 11 that today a Savior, who is Christ the Lord, was born for you in the city of David.

Advent - Isaiah 51:3

2025-12-15T05:40:47Z

Isaiah 51:1-3

1 “Listen to me, you who pursue righteousness, who seek Yahweh. Look to the rock from which you were hewn, and to the excavation of the pit from which you were quarried. 2 Look to Abraham your father, and to Sarah; she brought you forth. For I called him alone, but I blessed him and made him numerous.” 3 For Yahweh will comfort Zion; he will comfort all its sites of ruins. And he will make its wilderness like Eden, and its desert like the garden of Yahweh. Joy and gladness will be found in it, thanksgiving and the sound of song.

Joy in the Father #

On the heels of yesterday, I’m still struggling with Joy, but here in Isaiah some context aligns Joy with Gladness (which feels very much in-line with my association of Gratitude with Happiness).

So where will joy and gladness be found? It sounds to me like “Zion”. Zion is the Mountain of God. In the ANE gods lived on high mountain tops with lush gardens. Think of the cartoon example of Hercules with the pantheon up on Olympus.

Zion is also the people of God - even today we sometimes use national or ethnic titles to refer to the people of that area. National leaders may address the citizens of America by saying “Listen to me, America” or something like that - I think my point is that we’d all “get it” in that moment. In a similar way, that communication shouldn’t be lost on us here.

The prophet is speaking to “you who pursue righteousness, who seek Yahweh… Yahweh will comfort Zion (you)…”. In that comfort is 2 things from this passage: Election and Legacy.

Election

“Look to the rock from which you were hewn…”. Does the rock decide which pieces are chiseled away and which pieces remain? Of course not, the sculptor or foreman does that. In, honestly, the same way - who am I to have chosen God on my own… Without his hand coming to the rock to separate me (any anyone else in the Lord) I would forever remain stagnant in my cold, hard, dead state. But Yahweh chooses - and what can follow his choice to hewn me from the rock? Why, it’s nothing but Joy and Gladness!

Legacy

“Look to Abraham your father, and to Sarah; she brought you forth”. God’s people have a long legacy, a real legacy, to look back on and be encouraged by God’s faithfulness in his election. The legacy isn’t just back to “Father Abraham”, my mind goes to my own life and now that I have some years under my belt I can look back and see time and time again where God showed his love for me in extraordinary ways. I do hope it isn’t the physical blessings that he gives that bring me joy, but rather that it is the unending history of faithfulness to me as his child.

Joy is found in Zion because it is where Yahweh lives, and joy and gladness are found in fullness in him alone. His comfort today is realized in his word and legacy of faithfulness, and his comfort tomorrow will be realized by Jesus' return and the consummation of the Kingdom of God.

Work is hard, life is unfair, sickness will continue but at the appointed time, when Yahweh “make[s] [Zion’s] wilderness like Eden” there will be joy, gladness, thanksgiving, and the sound of song.

Advent - Psalm 105:43

2025-12-14T09:48:03Z

Psalm 105:43

And so he brought out his people with joy, his chosen ones with rejoicing.

Joy is a toughy right now if I’m honest… Today marks the 3rd week of Advent, today we light the Joy candle. But honestly, joy is one that’s not just tough now, it’s a hard thing for me in general… “Hope” I feel like I get, I long for the consummation of Heaven. “Peace” is another one that I can’t say I experience all the time, but I know what it is, and I have felt, and do feel, “peace” to divine degrees at times. Joy though… I’m an excitable person, I’m passionate about the things I’m passionate about, but “joy” isn’t an emotion or state-of-being that I feel very familiar with.

It’s probably not correct to use the word “emotion” for the Advent-pillar of Joy, but it doesn’t feel wholly inappropriate either… I think of ‘joy’ as an outward response to a thing, and if I were to be pressed to think about what “inward-joy” might be, I think I’d default to how I understand “peace”.

Joy, though, can’t only be outward, there must be something internal… “Peace” reminds me of feelings like calm and serenity to me, but “joy” reminds me of feelings of happiness and gratitude… Maybe that’s where joy becomes almost a virtue - happiness accompanied with gratitude.

I suppose with that springboard, I feel great joy when I’m with close friends, experiencing community with people who really know me. I don’t know what it says about me that the most recent time of excessive “joy” I can remember was from a weekend-getaway trip to the Dells with our best friends back in January… We don’t get to see Michael and Kathryn (+ the kiddos!) very often. By God’s grace on their lives, we are 1 of many close family-friends to them. By God’s same grace on our lives, they are 1 of a very few close family-friends to us, and so when we do get to see them and plan a few days together every couple of years, it warms my heart so much that if we booked the next trip this morning I’d forget about being sick and how cold it is outside (wind chill -29F).

Things for me right this very second are not incredibly joyful, but all things considered it’s impossible to not find peace in the provision of Yahweh in my life. I’m thankful for when joy enters my being and I get to experience it, I pray Jesus broadens my heart and mind this week during the reflections on Joy for the sake my own righteousness.

Advent - Ephesians 4:3

2025-12-13T05:05:56Z

Ephesians 4:1-6

4Therefore I, the prisoner in the Lord, exhort you to live in a manner worthy of the calling with which you were called: 2 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, putting up with one another in love, 3 being eager to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace; 4 one body and one Spirit (just as also you were called with one hope of your calling), 5 one Lord, one faith, one baptism, 6 one God and Father of all, who is over all, and through all, and in all.

Unity and Peace #

Once again I say “Praise God” this morning for more words of Scripture that succinctly highlight the beauty of the Gospel.

“I, the prisoner in the Lord…” No one knows better than Paul that if Jesus says “Come to me” you have no choice but to obey.
“with humility, gentleness, and patience put up with one another in love, be eager to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace”. Christian community was literally the talk of the town in the early church - it was so odd that historians have written about “The Way” (the early early name of the Christian movement). Acts says believers “had all things in common”. Jesus brings unity that transcends any differences between us.
“one…one…one…” Paul is saying so clearly that we are one family in Christa. Later in the same letter he says “be eager to do good to all, and especially to those in the household of faith”. Christians should be meeting the needs of those around them, but even more so meeting the needs of our brothers and sisters in Christ.

I really strive for unity… My whole life people have accused me of loving an argument (which is true) but I am not pugnacious. I do not enjoy fighting - I do enjoy rhetoric and debate, but by God’s grace I hate division. There are several examples I can point to in my life where unity and “team spirit” was important to me.

Simple Example

I worked for Summit Ministries for several summers, eventually serving on some leadership positions. While in those positions I wanted to do “extra” things to unify our counselors, and one was that every year I’d design a sweatshirt that we’d all (or most of us) would buy. I just love the idea of being united for a common and GOOD goal.o

Christians should be the most unified and loving people on the planet… unfortunately that isn’t the case, and I know a lot of people in and out of the Church who have experienced great disunity and division. That really is unfortunate, but I think the only thing I can do is march forward to the beat of the drum Jesus has for me. And one of those beats is to strive for unity “putting up with one another in love, being eager to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace”

Advent - Ephesians 2:14-16

2025-12-12T04:57:12Z

The reflection in the BP calendar for today was only verses 14-15 but they made no sense to me without some more context

Ephesians 2:11-22

11 Therefore remember that formerly you, the Gentiles in the flesh, the so-called uncircumcision by the so-called circumcision in the flesh, made by hands, 12 that you were at that time apart from Christ, alienated from the citizenship of Israel, and strangers to the covenants of promise, not having hope, and without God in the world. 13 But now in Christ Jesus you, the ones who once were far away, have become near by the blood of Christ. 14 For he himself is our peace, who made both one and broke down the dividing wall of the partition, the enmity, in his flesh, 15 invalidating the law of commandments in ordinances, in order that he might create the two in himself into one new man, thus making peace, 16 and might reconcile both in one body to God through the cross, killing the enmity in himself. 17 And coming, he proclaimed the good news of peace to you who were far away and peace to the ones who were near, 18 because through him we both have access in one Spirit to the Father. 19 Consequently, therefore, you are no longer strangers and foreigners, but you are fellow citizens of the saints and members of the household of God, 20 built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Christ Jesus himself being the cornerstone, 21 in whom the whole building, joined together, grows into a holy temple in the Lord, 22 in whom you also are built up together into a dwelling place of God in the Spirit.

Summary #

It’s a dense section, like a lot of Paul’s letters, so no surprise. I think the simplest truth from this passage is that to be a “citizen of heaven” requires nothing more than to be chosen by Jesus. For much of the Bible, and the history of Israel, the first requirement was being in the physical nation of Israel - God’s chosen people. Jesus comes to unleash the blessing of adoption and reconiciliiation onto the whole world, not just one imperfect white-washed nation.

TLDR: Jesus brings peace through unity of faith in his saving power - there is nothing that can separate God’s own from himself, including who your ancestors are.

Peace #

“For he himself is our peace”… Amen and amen. My reflections during and prior to Advent this year have strong running themes of freedom and peace because by God’s grace he’s impressing these blessings into my heart. In the stillness of the morning or the chaos of the afternoon, I can thankfully say that the name of Jesus never fails to ground my feet in the reality of his kingdom, and at the very least - draw my eyes above the trial to the horizon - where just like I can see nothing without the sun’s light, the world is clearer and more peaceful in the light of the Son of God.

Advent - Colossians 1:19-20

2025-12-11T05:38:49Z

Colossians 1:19-20

19 For God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in him, 20 and through him to reconcile everything to himself, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross.

I feel like there’s so much that could be unpacked here…

“all his fullness dwell him in” - so besides the entire Gospel of John how can anyone deny that Jesus is God? I don’t understand anyone who claims to take the Bible as an authority and then deny Jesus’ divinity.
“through him to reconcile everything to himself” - not all people are saved, it’s a clear reality. So what does it mean for all things to be reconciled to God? Feels like that could go a lot of places.
“making peace through his blood” - before the cross there was an absence of “peace”, and through Jesus’ blood peace has been made. Moreso than just that, the “make” (eirenopoieo: εἰρηνοποιέω) is in the aorist which I understand to be a tense that means a thing “has happened” and “is done happening”. ie. it’s a completed action in the past.

KISS #

I’m going to keep-it-simple-silly here… I don’t have the energy for arguments or unpacking some of these theological ideas that I genuinely do love. I found some old notes on this exact passage in Logos about reconiliation of angels and some grammar questions. However, for this Advent reflection I think there’s just a simple truth to see, and it’s one of the biggest points of the Story of the Bible - Jesus makes peace, and he made peace through hard work, death.

The glory of the peace Jesus made is lost on anyone who doesn’t recognize that the world is broken. Jesus brings a new reality by unleashing Heaven to earth through his victory on the cross. We live in an interim “already but not yet” where the King Jesus is the rightful ruler over all creation, but he has yet to come back and fully claim his own. The peace he made is a gift to all of creation, for all of creation is his to reconcile.

If Jesus calls your name, what are you going to do? What can you do? He defeated death and holds the universe together… you think you can say “no”? What about Jesus not calling the name of someone in your life? Is peace not afforded to them? The Biblical truth is that it’s fully and totally up to Yahweh to give his own to the Lord Jesus, and to keep each one without losing a hair on their head. Those who are not of his kingdom will get what they naturally want in the end. What that actually is I do not know, but it is not eternity in the presence of a Good King because if God hasn’t chosen you, you can’t love the Good King. If God hasn’t chosen you - you can’t want the Good King. In the end, we all get what we want - the benefit of those chosen by Yahweh is that we are freed to want what is actually good for us. We are freed to love and live according to the purposes of our design.

Today I pray Jesus impresses the reality of peace, and the freedom to want the peace he made, deeper into my heart, amen.

Advent - John 16:33

2025-12-10T05:03:04Z

John 16:33

I have said these things to you so that in me you may have peace. In the world you have affliction, but have courage! I have conquered the world.”

It’s interesting to read a little context around this morning’s Advent reflection passage/verse…

John 16:31-33

31 Jesus replied to them, “Now do you believe? 32 Behold, an hour is coming—and has come—that you will be scattered each one to his own home, and you will leave me alone. And I am not alone, because the Father is with me. 33 I have said these things to you so that in me you may have peace. In the world you have affliction, but have courage! I have conquered the world.”

It sounds to me like right on the heels of Jesus saying “hey, you’re gonna leave me alone for a minute out of fear” he says “I still love you, have peace, I am victorious”… I think he’s saying that the important thing isn’t the natural human response to pain and affliction to be to recede. Instead he’s saying that in his victory, by his love for us, the affliction will be a distant memory and Jesus is speaking in the reality of affliction being in the past, because he has conquered the world.

When my daughter’s have to do something they are a little scared to do, or something they don’t understand, my response to them is “I am your dad, I love you, you don’t have to understand why I’m asking you to do this right now but do you trust me?”

I try to drive home with my daughters (and my wife for that matter) that in any single thing I do - they are my priority. I don’t always do the thing appropriately, I’m not saying I’m infallible. But I think I get what Jesus is saying here - he is the focus, he is the thing that matter, his victory is more meaningful than my affliction and honestly the comfort from that affliction is found in nothing more than trusting Jesus because I know he loves me. Just like I ask my daughters to trust me, and I hope that trust calms their anxiety about whatever I’ve asked of them, Jesus says “trust me - I have conquered the world”

Advent - Zechariah 9:9-10

2025-12-09T05:06:22Z

Zechariah 9:9-10

9 Rejoice greatly, O daughter of Zion! Shout aloud, O daughter of Jerusalem! Look! Your king comes to you; he is righteous and victorious, humble and riding on a donkey, and on a male donkey, the foal of a female donkey! 10 And I will cut off the chariot from Ephraim, and the horse from Jerusalem; the battle bow will be cut down, and he will announce peace to the nations. His dominion will be from sea to sea, and from the River to the ends of the earth.

My king is indeed coming, and has already come. He is humble and he is victorious. Jesus can “announce peace” because the Kingdom is his - over which to announce whatever he wills. The rulers of this world fight for peace - they make announcements that reality is under no obligation to adhere to. “Peace through strength” is not a bad mentality from one nation to another, but within the nation the citizens are ruled by one king whose word either has weight or not. Often the weight of the word of the king is in the form of brutal enforcement of the king’s will. In the case of King Jesus though, there is nothing brutal. He doesn’t own the world by conquest, he owns it by right. Reality itself is under an obligation to obey the architect of the universe. So when King Jesus announces peace… what else can happen besides the word of the Lord?

Advent - Isaiah 9:6-7

2025-12-08T04:39:09Z

Isaiah 9:6-7

6 For a child has been born for us; a son has been given to us. And the dominion will be on his shoulder, and his name is called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. 7 His dominion will grow continually, and to peace there will be no end on the throne of David and over his kingdom, to establish it and sustain it with justice and righteousness now and forever. The zeal of Yahweh of hosts will do this.

To Peace There Will Be No End #

What a fantastic promise about what the King will do - to bring unending peace. I wrote about peace during Advent last year - Advent 2024 - Peace

Things are as they are supposed to be

What King Jesus will bring is a kingdom where every relationship is as it is supposed to be.

There is something amazing and relieving about reconciling with a friend. Brokenness is everywhere, and that affects our relationship with everyone, from the best friend to the 3rd cousin of your boss’s secretary. The closer you are, the more impactful the brokenness can be, the worse the pain in the relationship can feel, but also the more glorious and cheerful it is when things go from bad to as they should be

Advent 2025 - Love

2025-12-07T05:51:43Z

Advent Address

Love #

1 John 4:7–10 (CSB)

7 Dear friends, let us love one another, because love is from God, and everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 8 The one who does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9 God’s love was revealed among us in this way: God sent his one and only Son into the world so that we might live through him. 10 Love consists in this: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the atoning sacrifice for our sins.

“not that we loved God, but that he loved us”

Can a newborn love? When a baby enters the world they are at the mercy of the, hopefully, loving mom and dad God gave to them. But, whatever circumstances surround them - they didn’t choose any of it. As the child is loved then out of that love they develop an affection and love of their own toward Mom and Dad.

So, to love God is only possible out of the love he shows you and me, just like a child will develop love for Mom and Dad as they are shown love.

Not all people love God, but He does show grace to all.

Palm 145:9

Yahweh is good to all, and his mercies are over all his works.

And just like Yahweh is good to all, I will show grace to anyone else’s kid - but God redeems his own just like at the end of the day I take my own kids home: my kids, who I loved before they could love me. Only my children can love me as their Dad, and anyone who is not a child of God cannot love God - John says as much in what we just read together.

But love is more than affection, and even security. It is those things of course, but it’s also more. Something else that love brings to the human life, is freedom.

My kids don’t get to do just whatever they want - but they’re never more free than when they are enjoying life within the boundaries I have set for them. My love for my kids enables them to be as free as reasonably possible… The epitome of freedom for the human is not “doing whatever I want”, that is slavery to myself. If I treat myself as my own Master, then I will be my own slave.

True freedom is the gift of loving the Lord because loving him is the reason we were created - it’s what we were made to do. His love for me frees me to want what he wants, love what he loves, hate what he hates, and ultimately to enjoy him forever.

I hope my kids love what I love, and hate what I hate because I hope that what I love and what I hate are in line with God’s heart. And as God sent his own son into the world out of his love for you and me, may we go forward freed from the bondage of sin and death, into the glorious, true, and loving freedom that Jesus brings.

Prayer #

Good morning, Father. Thank you for Love, thank you for Christmas. For those here who have been freed to love you I pray this week and through Christmas we are drawn to consider the freedom we have in your love, the freedom to love you, the freedom to choose what is pleasing to you and not what our sinful-selves demand. For those here still dead in their sins, unable to love you, I pray you speak their name and call them to life and to freedom. We long for your return as we celebrate your incarnation. Thank you for loving us before we could love you, now may we love you and others this week, in Jesus' name. Amen.

Advent - Isaiah 26:3

2025-12-07T05:49:32Z

Isaiah 26:3

You will protect a firm inclination in peace, in peace because he trusts in you.

This is reminding me of a blog post I’ve had in the queue for months [[autism-and-steadfast-faith]] which may never see the light of day but it ties in with this verse too well to not influence my reflection on it

A Firm Inclination #

What is this? I had to open another translation to get the idea, consider the ESV:

Isaiah 26:3

You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.

I’m not going to attempt to explain any Hebrew in this one, I’m not fluent in it and this looks like more than a 1 word translation to me

So in observation “sa-muk ye-ser” is the man “whose mind is stayed on (Yahweh)” is “the man with a firm inclination”

So it’s an attitude - an inclincation to trust in the Lord… I definitely want to avoid going down any theological paths about the order of salvation, but personally this is resonating deeply as I describe myself (as do others probably) as a man with a firm inclination to worship and follow Jesus.

For me, obviously the source of the “sa-muk ye-ser” is Yahweh himself, but the outpouring of his blessing of “a firm inclination” in me is in the form of autism I think… Through my make-up as a human, the traits that got me labeled autistic are also many of the ones that have led me to study and lay the foundation of my faith in Jesus by nothing other than his grace.

For a long time, biblical theology was my “special interest of autistic degrees”, and although I’m not drowning in technical papers about Divine Council Theology at the moment, the seasons and experiences that were enabled/affected by being autistic have given me, by God’s grace, a history of life to look back on and be encouraged through and have my present-day-faith strengthened by.

Advent #

Today marks the second week of Advent - Peace.

Praise God for Isaiah 26:3 and honestly praise God for autism in my life. Through it he has protected and kept me. It’s odd to think about but through the anxiety and turmoil of growing up undiagnosed (actually misdiagnosed - Autism ADHD and the Doshas) autistic, to wrestle with how and why I seemed to experience reality differently than most of my friends and community, God brought me to a point of mostly steady peace about the things that happen in my life.

I’ve mentioned it in a few writings but right now I feel quite stressed out about some work-related situations that are outside my control… God’s been, and is being, good. I both sense the peace of knowing that I don’t have to worry about my life, as well as the anxiety present (somewhat rightfully) to make the decisions that bring the most glory to God.

I don’t think “peace” means you can’t feel anxiety, we live in the “already but not yet” so the dual-reality is completely expected. I feel blessed that even though I’m no stranger to the level of anxiety that can make you physically sick, I am also no stranger to an ever-present and quiet corner of my heart that God tends and keeps, strengthens and refreshes, and protects for the sake of his own glory. Amen.

Advent - Romans 8:24-25

2025-12-06T05:37:21Z

Romans 8:24-25

24 For in hope we were saved, but hope that is seen is not hope, for who hopes for what he sees? 25 But if we hope for what we do not see, we await it eagerly with patient endurance.

Q: What does it look like for you to actively but patiently wait for God right now?

“What does it look like” often causes me to think about hwo someone else might observe my life in relation to the question. This comes up a lot in theology/fellowship discussions “what does it look like for…” and then we talk about practical things that humans can do that we can see with our eyes.

But in my faith journey, as I have seen God’s faithfulness to me and my family, my mind is not immediately going to outward looking things…

For example “What does it look like for Christians to live differently than others?” and the answers are always the same “we love our enemies”, “protestant work ethic - Christians should work harder since we work for an audience of One”, “We don’t cuss”… etc. Things that someone could conceivably witness and then potentially draw the conclusion of the question (which is that Christians ought to live differently than non-Christians)

So I see these 2 ways of thinking about the “what does it look like” question - the outward observable perspective, but then an inward one

I guess outwardly, there are some answers where someone might observe it and then conclude that I am waiting actively and patiently for the Lord… Here are some examples:

Our Advent wreath on the dining table, anyone who enters out home will see it (as do I every day which reminds me of the active waiting)
This blog - anyone who finds my posts should no doubt observe that my life has been claimed by Jesus and I’m living my life to that end by his grace

But inwardly, in the secret… I think some reality is continuing to sink in that is a byproduct of witnessing God’s faithfulness to me… The way it looks for me to actively but patiently wait on the Lord is to just walk day by day in the life he’s given me… It’s a great life - beautiful family, decent work, beyond decent compensation - in a lot of ways I’m living the American Dream and God has been so good to me. My patience and activity I hope are not so much manifested by my will but moreso may they be acts of trust in a God who has shown himself worth trusting.

So, for me, “what does it look like?” is it looks like trusting when I’m frustrated, it looks like breathing when circumstances aren’t what I wanted, and it looks like putting one foot in front of the other in daily faithful life to Jesus…

Advent - Romans 8:20-21

2025-12-05T05:00:42Z

Romans 8:20-21

20 For the creation has been subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of the one who subjected it, in hope 21 that the creation itself also will be set free from its servility to decay, into the glorious freedom of the children of God.

What will life be like in God's fully liberated and healed
world? What will be the best part of that world?

I honestly do not spend a lot of time thinking about the specifics of god’s fully liberated and healed world… I do get emotional pretty much every time this passage and related ideas come up - freedom from sin and death certainly has specific consequenes for what daily life will look like. But I don’t actually want to think too much about what that life will be and here’s why…

It’s like the “don’t meet your heros” mentality… It’s not that they’re actually a let-down, but we build up heros in our head only to realize that they’re just people too… Seems like this is a pretty common Canon event for a child in one way or another… Well let’s swap out my thoughts about my childhood hero with my thoughts about Heaven… What do I reasonably know today to look forward to in the life-everlasting?

I will no longer be my own master - today in my heart a war rages daily… I wake up every morning acutely aware of the pieces of me that are hostile to God - they ache but they’re also comfortable… I cannot wait to be fully freed from this
The whole earth will praise the name of the Lord and to be in community with people of common mind and faith sounds (again) - freeing.

Beyond these 2 high-level truths, which we certainly could unpack a bit more, I would uncomfortable to make any assertions about what the future kingdom will look like, but I know I look forward to it

How? How to look forward to something you can’t concretely describe in physical terms? Because my God, the Truth-Teller, is the one who tells us about it… I don’t have to understand everything behing the Word of God - because I trust the Person of God and therefore his word

Notes #

Certainly there isn’t actually a Chaiasism here…

A: 18 For I consider that the sufferings of the present time –B: are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is —-C: about to be revealed to us.o ——D: 19 For the eagerly expecting creation ——D’: awaits eagerly —-C’: the revelation of the sons of God. –B’: 20 For the creation has been subjected to futility, A’: not willingly, but because of the one who subjected it, not sure about "in hope" and into 21 in hope 21 that the creation itself also will be set free from its servility to decay, into the glorious freedom of the children of God. 22 For we know that the whole creation groans together and suffers agony together until now.